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i saw you last night and it almost felt like
-for a minute and not one second more-
when we used to see each other,
uninhibited
enchanted
now it's not the same and we can't even pretend
the rules won't bend because i won't let them
and i hope that there is no resentment,
but i'm prepared for a slow acceptance
Bukowski says "find what you love and let it **** you"
and i've done just that
like Snow White and the poison apple,
what was once flashy and alluring and right in front of my nose
has been consumed and is now a masticated pulp fuming rancid
smoke into my lungs
from the deepest pit of my heart
no prince's attempt at true love's kiss can pull me from this coma
i'm in love with the darkness and my enduring hope for light
a light so bright that it will illuminate my veins, my troubled thoughts
will change from knots
into silk chains,
but until then, i'll comfortably rest in my summertime sadness
this isn't exactly how i feel, but i was just inspired by the Bukowski quote
not one word is mine
there's nothing left to say
that hasn't already been said a thousand ways
if someone were to crack open my skull,
quotes of Palahniuk, Salinger, and Plath
would be spinning in a metaphorical blender,
mixing and morphing into a multitude
of depression and life lessons,
wisdom and just plain nonsense
all of which has already been said
i'm exhausted
i don't want to feel like i'm the only girl in the world
i want to feel like i'm the only one you think about
even if i'm not
why can't you just lie to make me feel better?
instead, you're so ******* honest
at least you're honest
imagine a woman, sturdy and proud
not sturdy in the sense that she is heavy,
but more like well-established and strong;
sturdy like the ever-twisting trunk of the most beautiful tree,
growing and stretching its branches freely,
doing nothing other than reflecting, so brightly,
the warmth that she receives
and her leaves!
do not get me started..
she is proud, not in the sense that she is overbearing,
but in a way that makes everyone around her begin caring
she doesn't need anyone who doesn't need her
this makes her sound snobbish, but i assure you she is not
much like the tree, she can shed dried, dead leaves
just as easily as she can sprout fragrant blossoms
her hair is thick, purple, brown, blonde, ever-changing
like each of the tree's curling roots, but not at all mangy,
and her smile is incomparable to any part of any tree
for there are glistening white pearls in place of her teeth
with warm chestnut eyes and the voice of a lark,
she is the blazing flame to my sputtering spark
she wants to save my world,
so of course, i will let her
i'll carve our names into the wood,
and i'll never forget her
"reflecting, so brightly, the warmth that she-.." is from a chiodos song; sorry for the sporadic rhyme scheme
as flawless as a diamond with a hairline fracture
circulating like the ocean
writing chapter after chapter
as expansive as the universe
as melancholy as laughter
so goes the melody of happily ever after
i'll just keep my mouth shut
and smile like it's never been better
because it's the best it's been in awhile,
and i just want it to last forever

i'll put my drink up
and watch you as i tip it back
because you're so unpredictable,
but you make up for the things i lack

i'll float away
just to see if you'll reach out to me
because no matter how far i go,
with you is where i'd rather be
inspired by The Cinema
go ahead,
give up on me then
what are you waiting for?
i heard the warning, so teach me a lesson
i am sand and broken glass
slowly slipping through your fingers,
but you're the one spreading them apart

i really should have known
eventually, you'd tire
of grasping me so tightly
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