I've listen and said nothing
I've talked and said less
I've screamed and didn't cry..

What is it about you that keeps me coming back?
You were my longest crush.
I pictured you as my first kiss.
But what was it that made you hate me so much?

Why does my mind wander to you every spare moment?
Is it because my mind visits my heart when it wanders?
Why have I given you a piece of my heart,
Yet have NOTHING in return?!

What made me want you?
What made me seek for your approval?
Why did I long for your attention?

What is wrong with me?
Is it me?
Or was it you?
*Or both?

Do you know what you do to me?
Do tell....

Even when I'm not sure if you can hear me, I know my words will get through
When you're going 100 miles a hour- my idea is recognized
If I'm close to tears and no words can be said, you simply hold me close
I know that nothing I say will be told to someone else
You are my train

I think- that sometimes..
I am yours.
Your train.

We yell
We cry
We write
We relate.
*Trains

What if?
That's all that runs through my mind
What if?

What if the roles were reversed?
What if I said the things I needed to say?
What if I spoke my mind?

I don't know.
I have never known
I will never know.

I am
Free

I can
Breathe

I no
Longer
Have to
Worry

I am
No longer
AFRAID

*still deciding if that's good
Or bad

You left.
I became free.
Some may say
That's overrated..

*But who
Knows?