My mind changes faster than the seasons
I snow in the summer and burn in the winter
Oh, I'm sure there's rhyme and reason,
I just don't know it yet
I like change until it is no longer new
I crave the fall in the spring and the spring in the fall
I don't want to be here,
I make plans to leave,
Suddenly, being here is all I have ever wanted
What is wrong with me?
Will I ever find my footing
Or am I destined to fall for eternity?

This is a peaceful darkness
The waters I'm treading don't feel wet
I don't feel soaked
But I feel the ripples on my skin
I'm drenched in questions and surrounded by answers
Even my mind's eye is overwhelmed
Though it knows things that I don't

But it sure is pretty down (up?) here

I think I’m angry because I’m in mourning
I miss who you were when we first met
The whole world to my wide-eyed wonder
A dark, sparkling portal into a bright heavenly realm
A pool of chocolate brown with breathtaking melodies
My savior, my rescue, my wannabe baby
I loved you the day we met
I lost you the day we kissed
I want to leave but
I can’t leave the fear that
When I leave,
You’ll come back
And I’ll lose you all over again

I'm not a force of nature.

I'm a breath and a punch and a bead of sweat rolling down my right temple.

I'm a taxi cab driver with drunk girls in the backseat, driving in circles so they can sober up just enough to get home to their mothers.

I'm a wingful of feathers, a tomorrow full of betters, a page full of headers--

I'm a fighter, a nail-biter, a wave-rider, I'm no writer but my fingers are still insisting to dance across the letters of my handheld typewriter.

I'm a nuisance, not completely useless but not enough to move a mountain and I may not even be enough to do this.

I'm a mouthful of oxygen and a brain full of oxycodone; I'm an overdose waiting to happen and I can't get enough of you.

I'm every in-between stage of adjustment and self-discovery, unaware of my identity and that my own enemies are the deepest parts of me.

I'm a self-made insomniac, an ace of spades and a hypochondriac, a mild wave of confidence but I'm too afraid to contradict the empty pages in my conscience, I'm a...

I'm an outlaw, I'm an outcry, and I'm full of **** half the time and my **** writing doesn't really rhyme.

But that's fine.

there’s a ghost in my bed
a silhouette of a being i once felt was a better half of me
now i can’t breathe until i’m a certain distance away
and
you’re
not
touching
me

then again, i’m just an idiot, aren’t i

yes, i am literate
sometimes i make grammatical sacrifices to more accurately portray my rambling
Because it doesn’t stop, sometimes
sometimes i think in lowercase and run-on sentences with improper punctuation but i just can’t stop it
just don’t think that i don’t know

even the art of my art is art

am i falling out of love with you?
or has my mind simply twisted you into the man i’ve  never met in the vacancy of my own emotion
have a conjured an enemy, baby?
or am i falling out of love with you?
cosmo thinks i am
it tells me of all the lovers i could have had but strangely i do not want them, so,
why?
why do i feel like i lost you long ago
is it that maybe i never lost you
no, i never lost you,
i lost the version of myself that loved you in a pile of ash from all of my dreams that i have let crash and burn
i lost myself to my own demise
i lost myself to my own misstep and i lost my vision, baby
i can’t see you anymore

i have so many stories to tell
stories in my head that i have never lived
like how the waves slap against the dark, cold rocks of the shore
as i sit, salt-soaked hair,
listening to the whispers of the wind
or how the hollow caves echo
bouncing their secrets against the walls of my mind
or how the revving engine drowns out my singing
or dancing into a gas station convenience store
buying souvenir shot glasses from the vacant cities that have stolen my heart
or sitting in Prescott at 11 pm, a thick blanket of night engulfing me,
nothing but shimmering stars and the Milky Way taking my soul to transcendence and enlightening

i have the stories of your dreams
but you will probably never read them
and if you do
will you understand?