I can see the flicker of the digits
Right there, in the light of your eyes
My senses heighten and my chest tightens
Knowing this is only steam rising from the machine
I can feel the fear and my hand fidgits

Then everything is fine as we laugh
You cook bacon, eggs and pancakes
I watch Nascar not because I want to
But because it was with you
Oh how I wanted to be a daddy's girl

The morning passed and afternoon came
Leaving any hopes I had as a faint memory
I read the digits 00 : 00
You're throwing around blame
It hits everyone until their covered in shame

The fear is what gets me until I'm standing; staring
You always hated when I did that
My eyes following your red face and quick movements
I watch as hinges pry away, plates shatter and your mouth calls "brat"

Now I can understand why you are
But I will never forgive what you made me
A frightened girl with the concept of self worth so far
You filled me with hate, shame and self blame

Now I can understand why you are
My feelings are so unstable until they spill
An angry girl with little control so far
I am your daughter and my life is a landfill

I can see the flicker of the digits in my mirror
Right there, in the light of my eyes
My senses heighten and my chest tightens
Knowing this is only steam rising from the machine
I can feel the fear and my hand fidgits

Then everything is fine as I laugh
Knowing it's all just all a matter of time
Old habits die hard; my self sabotage
I shouldn't be wasting away my prime

The afternoon passed and night came
I can no longer dream of a better tomorrow
I read the digits 00 : 00
I cover myself with blame and shame

Just like dad taught me
Are you proud of me now?
We're so alike and so different
We're the bombs in our home

Wake up and I swallow
Instagram reels and dry pills
to help feel less hollow

Bite into tender flesh
sip on my blood coffee
their pain is still so fresh

New phone every new year
six marketable colors
screams fall on a deaf ear

My hair begins, thins out
checking all the labels
ingredients I do doubt

All we do is consume
no matter what the cost
dead families, no tomb

Wake up and listen in
They don't care about us
Money hungry eat skin