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Almost content
Not fully there yet
But an improvement nonetheless.
Yes?
I'll take that
as time well spent,
well as time not wasted
a recovery of sorts
Almost brave enough to gather thoughts,
Almost.
Almost considering making plans.
Yes,
Plans come before hope but after dreams. And I'm not ready to consider anything as bountiful as those.
But it'll take more time. More healing and permitting myself an occasional forgiveness.
Maybe just one.
Meant to help lighten the load so I've been told
Diminishing lights
curving gradually
blinking until lost
in the depths of night.
Distant the fading airplane hum carrying on
once gone
from sight.
Suffer not wondering
of its destination,
the possibility of passengers,
the needful yearn to be one.
Some wished to stay behind,
to sit as you do
and remain on a patch of soil.
Imagine another wanting your life.
Bemused?
You should wonder why.
I see things differently
That's OK
I can offened with my words
This I don't like
So I started again
Rewind freeze frame
Looked at myself
God that was hard
Sometimes my words breake down
They decay .
My mouth walks before my brain
This is why I write
This is where I can explain
I see things differently.
I'm OK.  
Every human never stops learning
Good or bad
Good for me.
I'm still growing learning everyday
Now I can play with my thoughts
Daydream all day
Fly away with the fairy's
That flood my brain.
Not quite like that
You no what i mean
I can try
Explain
I'm feeling good today
To be honest it's nearly good  
Everyday.
I see some things differently
That's OK.

I'm growing into a person whose handles her
decay.
I'm not displaying
Every ****** day
I'm growing
I'm learning
I'm listening
I'm interested it what you have to say
Be nice
Be kind
Help someone today.
As tomorrow you could be the person
Who just sees  decay.
Change in me growth. Thank you xxxxx  depression.  Appreciates.
On the wall opposite
a gallery of posters and pamphlet raising awareness, and warnings
of conditions
he prays she doesn't have.
High glossed brochures they hope not to collect afterwards
The weight of the waiting
as crushing as the worries
they try to play off
in light conversation
pretending it's nothing.
Urging each open door and passing uniform to be the calling.
Eyes burning through the back of those who came after,
but are seen before them.
The unfairness of it draws the focus of their anxiousness in mutter curses.
Recalling the sayings
"its a rare person who wants to hear what they don't want to hear."
it depends on why and how long you're waiting.
They sit there trying to stay calm, distracted
and stare at the floor,
focusing on the ripped edge of a poster as many before have and many will again
Within the woods
a cluster of silver birch
stand proud among the pines and hazel and elms.
Below the gaze of the silver bark eyes
half hidden beneath the mulch and loam of ground
a toppled circle of stone can be found
to a kean eye
faded traces of blackened soil
painted by the death of a flame
It holds memories, if you listen,
of promises and dreams intimately whispered about the fire
when everything and the world died except you and I.
Your smile:
the bract
of those petal lips,
there to
attract
the flower of a kiss.
Crows caw and cackle
cracking dawn
shattering the secrets
of early morn,
chirp and whistle
adding voice to the song
nature awakens
by the feathery alarm.
A male bee has no stinger,
his life mission is to collect pollen
and hope that the queen will notice him.

Drones doing drudgery
tasks, for another's dream.
All because we were fed a script.

Following the script
leaves us closed to other's
love language.

Miscommunication ends in betrayal.
And betrayal became normalized
all because nobody taught us
to enjoy our freedom.
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