You needed more than just me,
I wasn't enough.
Not because I, as a person, am not enough
to love, or to spend time with,
but I, being where I am, or was,
and you being where you are, or were,
I could not, would not, and have never been able to satisfy you.
All this time, I was hating her for giving you
what I couldn't, but that was not it, was it?
I think that you needed someone else to give what I could,
but softer.

     How I love with my fists clenched,
     How I lean into a kiss with my teeth bared.
     The first time we spoke was about my dark eyes,
     and how it was hard to look through them.
     When maybe you wanted to talk about your friends,
     or that new show your sister told you about,
     maybe you needed me to listen and nod.

And that girl, how I hated that girl.
The way she wore flower dresses more innocently then I ever could.
I hated that she was more street smart
than book smart and the only sadness she'd ever known was
a messy room and no place to write.
I don't know if she writes, but I hope she does,
and I hope it's beautiful, and I hope it's about you
and your love, and it's better than mine.
That girl gave you feathery dreams and pillow kisses
when the sun was up and that girl laughed like she had
never held a gun, and that girl was ******* clueless, but soft.
And I was a brick wall
trying to pass for a window.

I understand now that I talk too much about my past,
that my cries for help are too loud, even when I'm quiet.
I understand that you needed a break.
A break from all of my heaviness and fast motion.
I gave you string theory,
she gave you small talk.

I spent some time today with two beautiful people.
Together, we did disgusting things; we smoked cigarettes, we spoke about our experiences in abusive relationships, and we tried to spit on cars driving by.

I looked at the clouds and I knew you were upset. I looked at the clouds and I knew I loved you. In that moment and in this moment I love you. I love the boy we were with and I love his father.

Human beings are the only creatures capable of committing evil because we are the only ones who have an idea of what evil is, therefore we are the only creatures who can choose to be evil. Humankind is the only species to ever enslave a living creature. We've done it to every animal on earth and we've done it to our brothers.
A lion mother killing a baby antelope is not evil. The same lion mother ripping the esophagus out of an antelope's neck is not evil.

I think I may be evil. I think I've caused people pain. Pain has been dealt unto me and being a man who respects and strives for fairness, I have dealt pain unto those least deserving. I love you like the moon loves you (as the moon must) and this makes you least deserving of any pain and you're in so much pain, you're in so much pain and I caused you pain two years ago and men continue to cause you pain and I brought you that cassette to try and put a bandaid on a two year old **** that has already healed and I hope it's enough

Outside night time winds
In birch monuments
And inside fire in
Its place

To their sounds
I doze and
Drift
Away

I'll show you all the cracks,
in your feeble facade.
Just shortly before I see it erased,
with psychological grenades.
Don't you know?
I've got x-ray eyes,
They see into your heart
and find the skeletons you hide.
I don't require knives to see you filleted,
I'll verbally split your middle,
expose your doubts and your shames.
I'll flush out every fallacy,
stop the production.
My words and my mind will see your destruction.