The ball bounced over
and I, ever ignorant, picked it up
And looked around expectantly
Hoping to throw it back
And finally, for once, join in a game, any game.

"Oh no, she has it now,"
A whisper said
My brown hands gripped the ball
Tighter as if
that could
help

Summoning up my courage
I walked over to one girl
Call her Bonnie, if you like.
I say
In broken English
"Drop you, take this?"

"Thanks"
sarcasm replies
as fingers slowly take it
minimizing contact

When I turn back
Bonnie throws the ball at the ground
and uses her hand-sanitizer
As if possessed.

That night, at home, in the shower,
I scrubbed and scrubbed
Trying to
Destroy
My brown
disease.

Of course
when your southern tipped - tongue
drips out the words
"I want to move up north"
everyone whose roots
reach deep below the belt
of the Mason Dixon
will ****** your face
in their gaze
and warn you bout
that Northern Disregard.

But don't listen to their tales
of discarded homeless
people plastered cross pavement.
Tell them bout those
who find home amongst
the clutter of 125th
with warm eyes
that search the cold
looking for laugh lines
and loose change.

Tell them
how they maintain
an open hand
good for grasping
and an open mouth
good for un-gourging
their gapped - toothed grins
of wisdom.

You tell them
that these people
with the wrinkles
of a wise man
may not have much
but they share
what they got.

You tell them
that no matter
where we're from
we've all got a little
Southern Hospitality
stained in our smiles.

Tell them
that you'll be fine
and pray you're right.

I manipulated hearts today-
Without guilt I was in control
and it felt good.

With my own hands
I cut them,
With my own hands
I felt them,
With my own imagination
I twisted them until they fit just right.
Just like placing stars in
the magic of the night.

I cut out paper hearts today,
Twenty four of them.
It all seemed perfect,
One heart for every hour-
In a day,
That we're apart.

I moved them,
The hearts,
And shaped them-
And spread them apart,
Like time zones between here,
And Australia.

If only there wasn't a time zone bewteen us,
If only there wasn't your destiny and mine-
If somehow these hearts could beat together;
The rhythm to a love song-
But they cannot...

They're paper thin
hoping to win,
The hands of someone
to hold them.

Stability Unstable,
    Like the ocean tides,
            Connected only through the shift in seasons.
I'm tangled in the intricacies of life.
Alone, I watch the way things move;
How a smile between strangers is pure
How quirkiness is a form of building walls
      Blissfully waiting to burst at the first sign of reality
Underlying emotions shifting every second,
      Deeper into the unknown
I walk on broken steps without perception
My head held captive in the clouds
Without care of destination,
      Yet striving to arrive
Lost between here and there
Well composed
       Slowly witty
             Brightly burnt out
       Ambitiously un-motivated
Spirit trapped in body
      Body trapped by mind
An oxymoron of unconscious awareness

I stared at Diana
Eyes a hue of blue
Skin white and shiny
Hair a sheen of unnatural yellow

My hand shook whenever I had to move her
Fearful of spoiling her purity
With my grubby fingers

So Diana stood alone in the corner
Bidding me goodbye
As I set out for school each morning.

One month later
She was stolen
By the housemaid

Today, I imagine Diana
Standing proud in the
Middle of the mud floor
Bringing regality
Into an impure world.

Oh, man how I enjoy the pain.
I'm craving the burn.
I want my turn.
Come on, put your body into it.
I want to bruise.
If not you, I'll do it myself.
These scares are so pretty.
And I am burning.
It stands for knife.
Cut deep into me.
Thank you, mind.
Thank you, life.

Woke up this morning,
Blankets thrown off the bed.
I can only imagine
What had gone on in my head.

I hope this *****
Is talking to herself
Because I wanna punch
Her in the ******* face
Or at least cuss her out.