Lately you haven’t been getting much rest
As if sleeping is your own unwelcomed pest
You’re exhausted throughout the complete day
But to tell you to get more rest is all I can really say

I truly wish I had one today
Someone to hold and care
Show affection in any way
Even when I am not there
She's beautiful like Hawaii
And sweet like a sugarcane
She's always right beside me
Through the sun and the rain
I wish I had at this very time
To be able to rant to at night
About nothing we can define
Just something in our sight
We can work together as one
We laugh together at nothing
We will always find some fun  
We cry together in mourning
But as of now, it's not there
My care is aside for later use
It is now just painful and unfair
After I've faced all this abuse

First I will say you look wonderful
Despite being out in the humidity
Your spirit remains peppy and full
Even over a temperature of ninety
Your smile brightens those around
Your hair flows freely in the breeze
You try to help those that surround
Telling them to stop and to freeze
You like to be surrounded by peace
You're still with some that are a pain
Even those like me that tend to tease
Now you silly chipmunk orangutang
I must ask you one thing before I end
Would you, Madelyn, be my girlfriend?

You may think you're not good enough
But stopping now after all you've given
Just you stopping right now seems tough
You should try again and continue living
We were fresh out of our dark cocoon
We really never saw this other spectrum
We were like the space race to the moon
Not knowing anything ahead, not some
Neither of us was prepared for the future
That future to us is now known as the past
And it now feels like a continuous torture
That I made mistakes that won't be my last
Now a simple statement about relationships
From quite an amazing and hilarious movie
They're being there when someone needs you
And to add on, it's to make each other happy
I don't know about you but I felt success then
I was happy and you're there when I'm needing
If not know then I am going to wonder when
When is my open heart going to stop bleeding
It had stopped for a while when I was with you
Now it's as if it has been punctured once more
I hope that you can now thing this all through
Then choose your final thoughts closed door
I think what we had was absolutely spectacular
It was always simple and to the finest point
We made each other laugh and that was all
We still have an opportunity to mend the joint
What we once had was perfect in every way
But the main phrase there is "we once had"
That'll haunt me throughout every single day
Because it indicated the past which is sad

I'm just throwing in the towel
You seem to not want to chat
It sure has been quite a while
But I'm just giving up on that
Now I seem to not even exist
The life we once had is gone
I have bleeding on my wrists
By each new break of dawn
I can't keep living in the past
It's gone and out of my reach
It leaves like a dynamite blast
Quicker than one dies of bleach

You left me a long while ago
You moved away, leaving me
Paralyzing from head to toe
I am slowly able to break free
I now have moved on far away
I now feel energized and happy
I live to see another glorious day
While your end is closer to see
I feel that you are already dead
Watching over the world you left
Listening to every word that's said
And watching every single theft
You are watching me as I write
You are happy I have moved on
But it feels like you're out of sight
And you are now forever gone

It is the start of yet another day
You're awake an energized again
There is so much you have to say
But you forget and you feel insane
You awake with a smile on your face
Seeing the sun when opening the blinds
Hearing all of the sounds of your place
And smelling the fresh coffee grinds
Have a fantastic morning beautiful
I will text you whenever I am awake
I hope your morning is not quite dull
But it starts with a bang and a shake

So after eight months together
And almost all long distance
You decided to call it quits
To break free of stress’s hold
I knew this would happen eventually
But why does it have to be now
After I’ve had a long, stressful day
But today marks a new start
A new start of my many years to come
I need to quickly get over you
And get back on the road once again
But I don’t want to get over you
I still have strong feelings
But I know you had no other choice
Than to stop it before it got too far

One must be grateful with what they have
Some out there are not as fortunate as you
We often take our simple lives for granted
While others struggle to find themselves
We must be grateful for the food we have
As there are some that struggle to survive
We must be grateful for the roof above us
As some sleep in the harshest of conditions
We must be grateful for the clothes we have
As some freeze due to lack of their clothing
We must be grateful for our transportation
As some walk all day to their destination
Lastly, we must be grateful to simply live
There is going to be someone out there
That is struggling more that you are now
No matter how difficult you think life is
It is harder for someone else in this world
You're not the homeless man with no food
He has to dig through your trash cans
To find the food you waste every day
You're not the child dying in the hospital
To a disease that affects one in a million
Wishing your tax dollars can save his life
But you're too stubborn with your money
We need to be grateful with what we have
As there is always someone out there today
Struggling to survive throughout the day
While we "struggle" with pointless issues

A hairline fracture is painful yet goes unnoticed
We go on with one of these as we are overly focused
The pain of this slice is felt by oneself but not noticed by peers
Because it's not visible, but it may be as the breaking time nears

My life today is identical to one of these fractures
Full of pain that goes unnoticed by those around me
This fracture is constantly worsening from negative factors
But soon, all this pain will go away so I can finally break free

All I see is darkness around me
And the red from my alarm clock
Hearing Breaking Benjamin in my ear
I lie here wondering, am I really happy?
The simple answer to that question: no
I may appear happy to some people
But they just see the shell of my life
Those that see the inside, they know
But there isn't anyone that truly knows
Some know most, but no one knows all
I plaster this smile on my face like a clown
It's fake, there's no way around that fact
I'm searching for pure happiness though
I am just struggling to find it's source
I have been searching, to find nothing yet
Maybe sometime in life, I'll be truly happy
Where I enjoy waking up each morning
Where I enjoy doing my daily routine
Where I enjoy the people around me
But right now, I tolerate my situations
As I still am searching for true happiness

I can't believe I'm saying this right now
But I honestly feel happy again today
Maybe it's just reliving good memories
Or maybe it's that I'm escaping them
Either way, I don't think I'm happy, I know
I can just feel it inside my breathing body
The blood flowing quickly throughout
And my heart pounding when I talk to her
My mouth taking shape of a settle smile
I miss these times, but now they are back
I'm talking to her again after such a long time
She said she still likes me after all this time  
It has been almost two years since the end
And she now tells me she really likes me still
This truly making life more bearable than before
I can't wait until after college to see her again
Maybe sooner on spring or summer break
But I know I will see her again, just wait
Because that first embrace will be majestic
After all these months, we are BOTH happy

Such a strong and overused word
Full on hate seems just too absurd
The preferred option can be dislike
Or even just say to take a long hike
I am having that moment right now
Of disliking someone that's now low
She's a wonderful person in my eye
But then she lied and left my to cry
Hate isn't there now in this moment
The uncertainty rises through torment
This is a first of feeling the way I feel
It almost seems imaginary and unreal
I can only clear my head of all the hate
Moving to something fresh and great

These islands are magnificent
So much to see and a lot to do
Between people, money is lent
As we always see something new
Full of romance and pure beauty
Sights some may see in photos
Up an extinct volcano feeling free
What's new to see, no one knows
Now my time here is far from boring
I'm enduring pain and also confusion
Busy with free and organized touring
To me it all just feels like an illusion
I think I found someone that I like
She happens to be pretty and sweet
We talked on the Diamond Head hike
And got through it together in the heat
I don't know what to do in this moment
It's not the first I've have to quickly decide
While climbing the volcano that's dormant
I realized that I am no longer able to hide
I'm limping around with a strained calf
It happened while swimming in the ocean
It felt like my calf had been ripped in half
Now it's in pain like a while ago it had been
I'm in this romantic area full of compassion
But I'm alone with my own unique fashion

It's all I give to people it seems
It's what I am here for you all
To give help and assistance
But nothing in return for me
I need help, but it doesn't matter
I don't need any assistance
I can handle these myself
Well, that's what I say to people
In reality, I can't handle it at all
I need help with a lot of things
There's finding a relationship
Also there's finding happiness
And who can forget about school
But it's alright, it's why I'm here
To assist all in this world today
Getting nothing in return tomorrow

I am thinking about what to do
Should I move on now or do it later
Thinking like this was never new
I just don't know if I can date her
She is a wonderful young woman
I am thinking about her everyday
Her great smile with my dull grin
It doesn't go together in any way
But opposites attract one another
I like her but she may not like me
It's as unpredictable as weather
Whether I'll be stuck or set free
With each and every passing day
I push another opportunity away

I honestly have nothing to say
I am happier than I used to be
Every single day is a new day
I now live flying high and free
I feel like i have moved onward
From the difficulties in my past
I'm focused in moving forward
I know that pain will never last
If you keep your head up high
It's easier to stand tall and fly

We used to be extremely close
But that's now gone I suppose
We no longer speak anymore
You just walked out my door
You try to keep your life a secret
Hiding something important I bet
You're hiding something from me
But that's fine, you're alone and free
You're probably hiding a lot that's untold
Your secrets will quickly open and unfold
But it's your life to control, not mine
I'm trying to put us extremely far behind
But nothing seems to be working now
Everything you're hiding now raises my brow
I don't know what to expect next from you
I do know it's something that's always new
You're hiding stuff you don't want me to know
I'm alright with that because I'm letting go

This may be way too early
But as people always say
You only live once, YOLO
But I usually don't follow
This is not a normal poem
There is no rhyme or pattern
Just an explanation to you
I know it hasn't been long
Since it all abruptly ended
But I am just not quite sure
Not sure on when it's right
Or even when it is wrong
But I am sure on one thing
The facts about you, Maddie
You're adorable, cute, pretty
Beautiful, stunning, lavishing
Any description that you want
You ARE absolutely amazing
I've been debating to do this
But I am needing to ask you
I know I said I wouldn't go
But will you, Madelyn
Go to homecoming with me?

After a year and 9 months of fighting for your life
You have now been told that it is coming to an end
And soon there will be a horrific end after all your strife
And you are starting to think there is nothing left to defend
But you can’t lose hope after fighting for this long
After this long battle, you can’t show signs of defeat until it’s over
Because you never know because you can prove those doctors wrong
You overcome what they said and live the life you wanted to cover

All I want to tell you is to not give up on yourself and push on
I wish that I was there with you right now and I would do anything to see you
Just don’t lose hope and believe that you can still make it
Because I believe that you have the strength to make it through
But the only person that can make it possible, is you
So please, do not lose hope and just throw in the towel early
And keep pushing until you can’t push any longer
If you do go down, at least go down fighting and not give up

It is difficult to fix a broken object
To mend a broken heart is onerous
You have to be daring to project
Living life as if it is very dangerous
You must show some determination
And hope for finding someone new
You can search through every nation
But you can only love in just a few
You must show endless compassion
To find someone right for your soul
You do not need a sense in fashion
Just to make sure both remain whole
Broken hearts are like broken bones
Some mend quicker than others fix
You must only give out little groans
To hide the all the pain as time ticks
Love is not a toy for all age groups
It takes patience and just some light
And the determination of war troops
To find someone that is perfectly right

I am here to catch you when you fall
When there is no match left at all
I tend to fire away any harm nearby
It comes to the wire to when I cry
I am here everyday for a loved one
I am here in anyway to bring the sun
I am here for those close to my heart
Only those that chose to not depart
I am here to give happiness to you
I am here to live for everything new
I am not here for those that backstab
Leaving a tear and with nothing to grab
I am only here for those that appreciate
I am only near to those that can wait

One second you say you like me
You wish I was by your side again
Just to comfort you once more
Saying you cried when we broke up
Now you're asking me about other guys
About what you can do to get them
Whether or not they like you back or not
Saying this guy is attractive, it hurts
I just don't understand you right now
Am I just oblivious to the facts at hand?
Still in some uncontrollable state of denial?
Or am I just in over my head and out of it?
I just don't know anymore, I'm confused
I know long distance won't work out now
We can't wait many years until after college
We are both only seniors in high school
Dealing with options most people don't face
Whether or not to move on for good or what?
I just can not read you anymore it seems
You first started out as a Dr. Seuss book
But now you're some thousand page novel
So many details I'm not picking up it seems
Looking at the big picture, I like you, you like me
But will it work out? I sure in hell hope so...

I know these annoy you a bit but I hope that you understand. I know that you know that I'm a mess and I know that you know that I know nothing that's going on in your life. You do know, however, that I know that you know that I miss you and everything but I know that you know that I know that you're happy right now it seems and I don't think you quite know it yet but I know myself that I am very grateful that you're happy even though I know that you know that I know that I wish it could be me but I know that we both know that there is nothing left that we can do. I do not know if you know what I'm saying but I know you may know what I'm saying now because I know you're intelligent and my hopes with this is that it helps you know the truth more and helps us both know our past so I can know that you're doing okay. All because I miss you and I hope you're doing okay. I'll try not to do any more of these because you know that I know that these confuse you a tad but I just decided to do something that I used to do a while ago. Anyway, goodnight, have a good day, and maybe we can talk again. If not, I hope you're doing okay. Yeah, I'm done know. Sorry for annoying you with this

We used to once have it all
With happiness and hope
It struck an imaginary wall
But that hung on the rope
I used to say that I love you
Now it's an I love you not
You left me stuck in glue
Leaving me behind to rot
I do not love you anymore
But I still will always care
Life has been a downpour
But our life will never be fair

I Love You               Sarah
Three words that anyone can say
But not everyone can achieve its meaning
I wish I can have your personality in my life everyday
To see a movie or whatever you would like and then cuddling
I know we spent less than a week together before you left
But we are still going strong though all this distance
You mean everything to me and that is the truth
But I really do love you with all my heart
Not just a single, lonesome part
With all my heart
I love you

I can't do anything right anymore
I can't pass a test to save my life
I can't remain confident in myself
I can't even attempt facing my fears
I've only had one girlfriend in my life
I've been a failure at all possible sports
I can't pass a test if it would save my soul
I can't even step up as a leader to others
I'm just a failure at life all together
I'm just a nobody walking those halls
I'm just a lonely guy stuck in this world
My name is Brett, and I can't do anything

I’m afraid of your ultimate death
So young of age, life ending too soon
The last words you say under your breath
For eternity, in my mind they’ll loom
I’m afraid I will never see you again
Not being able to see your beautiful face
I can imagine you now, sick and in pain
As I sit here, worrying in a different place
I’m afraid of living my long life without you
As I don’t know how I will be able to stay strong
My life will be beaten, marked with black and blue
I thought we’d live long, but apparently I was wrong
I’ll be afraid to love someone else in the coming years
Because I’ll be afraid of losing the others I love as well
But all I can do right now is hope and hold back these tears
I’m afraid to live life after your gone, as you certainly can tell

Everyday someone will ask
How am I doing on this day
I'll say I'm fine through all tasks
But I'm not fine at all in any way
I'm constantly worried and afraid
I want my world to slow to a stop
I want time to become more delayed
It's going too fast to keep up top
To others, the inside of me is a mystery
And the currently known will be history
I will assure you all of one thing I know
I'm sad and afraid with nowhere to go
I'm on the brink of running away to hide
Because nothing right now is on my side

For whatever I said to upset you
I am truly sorry for what I’ve done
Sorry for not stopping the avalanche
That fell upon us both in the recent days
Neither of us really had a decent clue
That we should’ve turned away to run
A lot time ago before this horrid crunch
Because it should have end in other ways
I can apologize a thousand times all day
But you probably won’t accept it anyway

It's simple, I really need someone right now
I need not two nor three nor ten, just one
Not an animal like a dog, cat, hamster or cow
But just as simple as a human being and done
A someone or somebody, it's the same thing
They both are singular for only one reason
It's a someONE, a man to always be a wing
Or a female, it never matters any season
I need someone to always be able to hold
I need someone to talk to all the time
I need someone to help me remain bold
I need someone to have our powers combine
I know that this person can be hard to find
Maybe not as hard as you think, I can try
But with all past somebodies, I got declined
I wonder why, I am loyal, kind and don't lie
I need someone to rant to about every topic
I need someone to clean up this mess I am
I need someone to care for me when I'm sick
I need someone to patch up my leaking dam
These are only needs, not wants or demands
I'm missing an important aspect of my life
I need someone to talk to and to hold hands
I need someone to help me through this strife
I want to have a somebody always with me
So I can stand up with confidence once again
So I can rise to the top and again be free
Free from the grip of agony and constant pain
This is no small matter as I continue onward
I want to turn around and head the right way
Because I don't know what that's now toward
But I'm hoping happiness returns another day

I feel that you are the one
I need you to be by my side
I though searching was done
And we could run and hide
I thought I found it all true
Love creates a strong bond
I was always happier with you
At a fancy dinner or the pond
Now it's just a distant memory
It's now all the forgotten past
We were a beautiful harmony
It is now all just thought of last
I no longer seem to exist to you
Even though you exist in mine
Every thought makes me blue
I can't put these thoughts behind

Millions of thoughts
Aching inside my head
Everything I’ve been taught
Starting with every word I’ve read
Every memory I still contain
Everything from the littlest magnificent view
To the few times when I used to complain
To the times when I was still with you

The simplest ideas still float among my head
But the strongest thoughts, many more than just a few
Are not of my childhood of being carried to bed
But these thoughts are of one person, that person is you

Everyone is full of immense beauty
It takes someone special to see it
Only that special someone can see
True beauty hidden from the world
You may not seem beautiful to all
You may be pale, skinny and short
Or even a pearly tan skin and tall
Beauty is seen by someone special
You may think you see the beauty
But our eyes can deceive the mind
It's just the outer shell that you see
Inside could be a whole other creature
You must be patient for them to appear
Your eyes must be one with your mind
Maybe even face a newer pesky fear
If your heart and soul agree, go for it
Opportunities flash in the blink of an eye
Beauty is something not seen by us all
You may live life alone until you will die
But you know you didn't have fake love

If you were to take a quick glance at me
I would probably seem perfectly fine
But if you took a look for a long while
You will see that everything in my life is out of line
On the outside, I am flying free like a bird
But comparing that to my inside is absurd

On the inside, it feels like there are chunks of lead
Keeping the weight of the world inside of me
Keeping me from succeeding at much and feeling dead
Instead of a hard working honey-gathering bee
All I want to do is break free of this hold
But it seems near impossible where it feels cold
Just knowing that I will not be able to take this alone
It seems to remind me of how I can be condoned

But this pain inside of me will soon vanish
It may not be today nor tomorrow
But all I can do for right now is to wish
To wish that someone will come help pull me out

It's been quite a lot as of late
Of living in complete darkness
Here in my world full of hate
With a lack of true greatness
It seems like a hated place
But here it is easy to hide
Myself from any other face
I can't see that far ahead
Nor too far back behind me
The past is gone and dead
The future is still can't see
Full of unanswered questions
I live in my lonely dark dystopia
Peace is what I never mention
Because fear haunts every día
I don't know what happens next
My past memories are now gone
My life is confusing and complex
Never seeing another break of dawn

I finally did it, just for you
I am now the drum major
I told you a long time ago
I would make it my goal
For you, I promised to you
I worked hard for it today
And it started yesterday
When I told you I will try
I tried as hard as I could
It was worth it in the end
I promised I would, I did
You do not even remember
You dreamed section leader
Then to become drum major
You made it to section leader
And I don't know anything now
Drum major was my promise
I held up my end, you did half
Will you complete your journey?
Will you keep your promise to me?
Because I kept my promise to you
Next season, I'm dedicating to you
And my promise to you one night

It's just plain and simple
I have a whole lot of issues
Showing off a fake dimple
To hide the need of tissues
I am always living in the past
I can't forget the memories
I know they won't be the last
But I just can't forget these
I have to just move forward
But I can not do that today
I continue to move backward
I can't fix anything in any way
I'm currently an absolute wreck
Life is like poker, luck and skill
I feel as if I had an unlucky deck
And I won't quit until I get a ****
I will get through these issues
I am confident in my abilities
It will take time I won't misuse
I'll use it wisely to find the keys
I must unlock happiness in me
Unlock it to set my issues free

I honestly do not have a clue
I always seems to feel strange
When I see or think about you
It seems out of realities range
I haven't felt this way in awhile
I think I'm beginning to like you
It may just end with me in denial
But it's a risk I'll take for us two
I feel like waiting for the right time
But that time we may never see
These feelings are in the prime
And it's now life or death for me

I wish everything was alright
I wish it was peaceful at night
I wish all was good once more
I wish I had never shut the door
I wish I again had a girlfriend
I wish I had someone to tend
I wish I had someone to care
I wish that she was always there
I wish life would be okay again
I wish I could end all this pain
I wish it will be the same again
Why can't everything just change
To something more in my range
Where my life goals are reachable
Where nothing left is impossible

A year ago from around today
I thought I'd be alone forever
That my skies would be gray
That the time to love was never
I was incorrect at the time
I found someone to finally hold
But now all that is finally behind
And now those memories are old
Today, I am single like I was then
But I wonder when I'll love again
I'm not sure if it'll happen, or when
But when it comes, it'll stop the rain