There's not enough pills
Not enough *****
Not enough anything to **** the pain
We're capable of feeling

I hear the tortured souls
Crying out to me
In the place where dreams live

I close my eyes
Not sure how much time has elapsed
Wakened by screams
Realizing they are my own

I long for peaceful rest

Someday maybe

Not today

I feel death lingering
And realize
My soul dies a little more
Each day

If my heart was still alive
It would pump more pain
Through my dead veins

Maybe it's better to be numb
Not feel anything
Dead inside
At least there's no more pain

Slowly slipping into a sleep
With no waking

Resting in peace

I always was under the impression
That in recent times
We have lost touch socially ( person to person, in person)
We have lost compassion
Nobody cares about anyone anymore

And while I still believe
We have lost certain aspects of our social interactions
I have found we still care

And the funny thing is
We may care about people we've never even met
We are still all connected
Though now it's through the ever powerful web

Anyway I guess there is hope.

Sometimes it's hard to remain held together
Pulled in multiple directions at once
Feeling undone

We try to fool ourselves
Everything's good
We soldier on

Wanting to be a better person
Knowing you never will be
Not as good as we'd like to be


But we keep
Moving
Forward


Or at least we
Try

I stood in the street
                       In the suns direct heat
                                                       I melted

                                                       Into
                       The storm drain below
Mixed with the water

I began to flow

Far far away
                     Home to the ocean
                                                     From where I once came
                                                     Back in the sun
                     Heated  I rose
And again fell as rain

As soon as we're born
We're one foot in the grave
We work to live
To that work become slaves

Some are fortunate
And live lavish lives
Others work too much
Life passes them by

Take the time now
While you're still able
Life ends abruptly
Not like in the fables

One day you're in school
Next day you're retired
You nap in the daytime
Because you're so tired

From a life spent rushing
Ruled by the clock
Time keeps moving forward
Tick tock tick tock

Work hard while you must
Enjoy time spent at home
Don't waste your time
And don't live it alone

Blue eyes that stare back
With pain and with hate
Pain I know well
Because mine are the same

I have made mistakes
But everyone does
All I can promise
Is I will always love

You

Whether or not
This feeling is returned
Is all up to you
That's one thing I've learned

So I'll give you some space
And plenty of time
But at the end of the day
The decision's not mine

Don't wait too long
We all change with time
And once more I'll say
The decision's not mine

So think long and hard
What it is that you want
I won't wait forever
At some point I'll stop

Waiting

They run all about
Like rats in a cage

Every day different
Though they all seem the same

Everyone struggling
They strive for the top

Believe me when I tell you
I for one am not

I know secrets
Few are privvy too

These secrets may help you
They may also **** you too

When you understand the reasons
People do what they do

You may start to wonder
What things make you you

Once you have your answers
You may not wish to know

You had yourself at a ten
Your actually a zero

I am
A wolf among the sheep

They walk noisily about
Silently I creep

I walk as they do
I wear the same clothes

I meander my way through them
My prey will never know

The real me isn't so grand
This costume I wear is part of my plan

I'm not here to help you
I don't want your love

I am going to eat you
With teeth stained in blood

Our lady now gone
She's taken her leave

No tricks now
Nothing up the sleeve

I feel a great heartache
But now it's alright

She's a survivor
She's gonna be fine

Given a task
I know she'll complete it

This isn't the end
But just the beginning

Welcome
To the place
Where dreams die

Where darkness prevails
The sun doesn't rise

Agony and anguish
Together here thrive

Life choices made
This is home when you die

So, Welcome home
Home for all time

The death that I've dealt
So silent and sweet

They never saw me coming
They didn't hear a thing

I came upon them
So happy and free

That is until that night
Until they saw me

I took away their happy
Took away their free

I took away their everything
I took it all for me

Me I have no happy
I surely have no free

So enjoy it while you have it
You never know where I could be

I love the dark
It's when I come alive
I don't feel so contained

I do anything
My devilish heart desires
No regrets

Darkness puts all the "happy"things
To bed,"nighty night"
Here comes the moon
Gotta go now
Bye bye

I hope that you're happy
You know who you are

You've driven our fair angel
Away from our hearts

She's leaving us all
Because of a few

I tried to persuade her
I don't know what to do

A heart that is pure
Is easily hurt

Her heart was ripped out
And thrown in the dirt

I think I can say for everyone here
All of us shall miss you
You're beautiful my dear!

The time now upon us
Great prophets foresaw

Country against country
Disregard for the law

Blood will be shed
Blood and tears fill the streets

A God looking down
Does no more than weep

A world he created
Will extinguish itself

Now this will happen
If we don't have his help

One thing I remember
And remember it well

He only helps those
Who help themselves

Now it's our problem
And we must find a cure

We all need to listen
And hear what is pure

I got too high
Floated up in the sky

Saw my heart below
It started to rain

Down I came
Ever so gently

I rested on
A weeping willow

When I woke up
My head was on my pillow

C= my style that's constant
V= various topics I choose
T= time that it takes


Now let's do the math


C(same ****** style)+V(various ****)- T(time that's spent)=Q
                                                        ­                                                 That one's for quit!

I feel partly alive
But mostly feel dead

Wish that that bullet
Didn't just graze my head

I stick me with needles
I snort up my nose

That's when I don't know
Where my mind really goes

At least it's not here
But somewhere at peace

I know that place
Is waiting for me

I'll be there soon
I try not to dwell

But the outlook for me
Does not look that well

I'd love to hop a train
To see where it goes

Close my eyes and sit back
Hear the wind blow

Watch the country flow by
I swim through the fields

I float through the valleys
Upon many wheels

Somewhere my journey
Will end I'm quite sure

I hope to end
Where the air is still pure

The dragon guards his fortune
Though he has no use for it

He'll never let them take it
Not even The smallest bit

He's lived for centuries
He's seen many come and die

He knows they'll never get it
But enjoys to see them try

It is his only reason
For continuing on so long

He's here to guard his treasure
And to him this isn't wrong

Someday he'll be gone
And have to let it go



But Not Today

My heart on my sleeve
It pumps and it bleeds

More than you'd think
Too often it seems

Too trusting ,too naive
I just want to believe

That there's somebody out there
Waiting just for me

Who knows,eventually
We'll meet

It has been said
You can lead a horse to water
But you can't make him drink

I now understand that phrase
You can help all you want
Talk till you're blue

Simple truth is
People will do what
people will do

I GIVE UP!!!!

May death come swiftly
On wings made of dreams
One visit is all I need

To be rid of this vessel
That holds me here
On this decision I'm still unclear

One minute you pray for sleep with no waking
Then see your young child and wonder what was I thinking

A wife tries to comfort what she does not understand
I guess in the end it's all in ones hands

Not mine ,not yours nor anyone else
But only the one who created us all will tell

When our time on this world is finally through
Will the weight be lifted once and for all
Or will we continue to stumble and fall

Our leaders make promises
They cannot fulfill

They overspend their budget
And we foot The bill

They send The troops
To faraway lands

Yet none of them focus
On the problems at hand

We've people in our country
Who just don't belong

It has nothing to do with race
But because they did it wrong

They cut our defense
They cut education

That's two bad decisions
One more  = end of our nation

Madness gripping me
My soul sits in darkness
South of heaven

Fantasy and reality
Life and death
The line blurred

All light extinguished
Alone in darkness
Screams of the ****** haunting me

Sleep brings restless dreams
Waking brings anger and pain
A new path starting

No remorse
No conscience
Numb

Rage begging for release
So tired
Conflicted,torn

War inside
All consuming
Faith destroyed

Everywhere I look
Visions of you

Ghostly images
Blurred and out of focus

I can't seem to shake it
This strange hocus pocus

I want you to leave
But I don't want to forget

The love that we shared
From The moment we met

I cannot move forward
Your love haunts me so

Will my heart mend
I really don't know

I travel through my days
With no end in sight


No matter What I try
You're still my hearts light

Some call him a prince
Others call him a king

Lies and deception
And untruths he brings

He once was held higher
Than everyone else

Now he rules nothing
After he fell

He knows he can't win
Nor is it his goal

If you're not careful
He Can win your soul

Do you ever think
What the truth really is ?

Is our universe endless ?
Or where does God live ?

Are we alone
In this infinite space ?

Or maybe there are others
Out past our gaze ?

Our questions must have answers
I guess we can't know

Until the time comes
When we're above or below

I had thought over tea
About my little city

Western civilization
The decay of our nation

Moral compromise
Our leaders speak lies

I just want the truth
A return to what's right

Doesn't look like we'll get that
Not without a fight

They once called me crazy
I've since been deemed sane

Is it insanity
When I call out your name

In the middle of the night
Alone in my bed

My heart it bleeds sorrow
I can't hear your name

It drives me to madness
I'm going insane

I can't call you up
I can't knock on your door

Each time I think of you
I'm wanting you more

I wake in the darkness
A terrible fright

I don't feel any warmth now
I can't see the light

I try to forgive you
I try to let go

I still think about you
I thought you should know

I stand up
Leave a rose on your stone

Say my goodbyes
And walk myself home

I walk through the crowd
To go sit down

Music playing
Way too loud

I can't think
I can't breathe

I liked to get up
Walk and leave

I suddenly realize
I'm at home alone

I gotta stay away from that tea!

I lie in my bed
Staring and thinking

Tick tock of the clock
Days thoughts still lingering

I want to slow
My swirling mind

I think if I don't
I'll leave something behind

How can I turn off
These perpetual thoughts

I need a remote
To just hit pause

I travel into the great unknown
Through kaleidoscope tunnels
In marshmallow homes

Silly putty writings
Unfold in my lap
Scrawlings from fairies
Under my hat

Bubble gum people
Walk by my stoop
They'll do it again
My day is on loop

The tea was Earl grey
Then it turned blue
I've had a strange evening
How about you?

Of life and love
I know not a lot

I've been part of both
Of either I'm not

I don't feel alive
I know not a love

I ask for forgiveness
From the one up above

I guess it's my punishment
For things that I've done

Maybe one day
I'll know more of one

A rift between the two
Now unsure what to do

They once had love
Alas it has withered

No more fruit will it bear
It's vine has decayed

New seeds will they plant
In a hope beyond hope

That their vine will regrow

To my shadow said I
why follow you so near

I lose you with the clouds
But you do reappear

I try to outrun you
But you are too fast

I run to the shadows
And lose you at last

Back in the bright light
Again you pursue

No need to worry
I'm me and I'm you

Come with me
To where love does bloom

In this dark
And sensual room

Candles flicker
A warm breeze blows

A hint of jasmine
Through the window flows

Crashings waves
On outside shores

Leaves two lovers
Longing for more

More love
More time
More moments of bliss

More happy together
More moments like this

Swirls of white
Within my tea

The warming drink
Does comfort me

Around my mind creeping
Demons while I'm sleeping

Awake yet again
Though I'd rather not be

But closing my eyes
Brings the demons to me

Daylight , my reprieve
But alas it is fleeting

Once darkness falls
The demons start creeping

Cup of tea anyone?

Death comes silently

As I lie here in my bed

I shall speak no more

I hope that you find
the other half to your whole

With it true happiness
never grows old

When you do find it
you Will know true love

That is a gift
from the man up above

Work it will take
and you will have struggles

Just hold it tight
and your hearts love shall double

Oh I wish, how I wish
That heaven is real

We'll all have the rest
And love we didn't feel

No tears will be shed
No grief or reget

Only by laughter and happiness
Shall we be met

I do my best in all that I do
I try to do right for me and for you

Until the end comes,I guess we can't know
we'll have to wait and see
And hope that it's so

Cherry trees blossom

Awoken from their slumber

New life has burst forth

You're only nice when it suits you
when you think I have something to give

You're only nice when it suits you
I guess you don't care if I live

You're only nice when it suits you
we've come to the end of the road

You're only nice when it suits you
I guess you can be nice alone

I look above to heaven
As we lie here in the field
Sun shining down on us
I breathe it in and "feel"

I feel the love I want
And know the love I need
You to me are both of those
And you are all I need

On the fringes of sanity
Frayed pages from a chapter
In a long forgotten book

A tale no one cares to read
Binding creased and stitching coming undone
"Read Me!" I shout, no one hears

I am not alone though
Shelves lined with thousands
No one notices until we fall

Fall from our place among the others
Then destroyed, no one realizes
We've been falling apart for years

Only after we are forever lost
Is it a "shame"

A gentle rustling
                   Breaks the silence,
                                                     THUD!!

Look deep into my soul
Through eyes of pale blue
You'll see my one hope
My child and you

Of nothing else
Am I sure
In this world and our life
Save our love for each other
As husband and wife

Beloved life we've created
And nothing more shall I crave
From this moment forward
Till I lie in my grave

Believe me my love
When I tell you this truth
That nothing can touch us
Not here in our world

The world we've created
From a love that is true
Where nothing else matters
Save me,our child and you

Lying in the cool,flowing, overgrown grass
Bright,blue skies above you
A warm,fragant breeze flows over you,as if,
Someone is pulling the softest silk sheet across your body
Yet never quite touching you
Renewing you,as if you've slumbered for a thousand years


Clouds passing overhead
Imagination showing you figures and shapes,dreams and hopes
You've forgotten the worries of your previous life
To find a new life,now realizing,finally,
What life is meant to be


A lone ray of sunlight passes over you
As if to comfort,as a blanket might warm you on a cool night
You finally leave,a different person
With memories of your perfect day.

Sundays are lonely now
Just me and my dog
Don't go to church anymore
Not sure What I believe

At least Monday brings work
Keep my mind occupied
Keep the darkness at bay
At least till Friday

Five short days
Where I'm needed
Where I need to be
Friday will come,and I'll pray for next week

Rains fall from the sky
Replenishing Earths supply
Of lifes sweet nectar