to be pushed down the steps to hell
than climb your way up  to  heaven

It was easier said and done
the fixing of a soul
that is constantly moving
deeper into the unknown

Thoughts so deeply rooted
Words so ingrained
in the mind of a girl
barely even sane

It was easier said than done
the attention and time she would need
to mend the gears in her heart
just so she could be free

No one really sees
the damage the do
until her eyes roll back
and her lips turn blue

It is what they say
People only ever listen
the moment you're dead

Who would ever
to look over the words
of a dead girl?

The fear of being a bigot
overpowers
everything else

It's easier said than done
to love yourself, to accept yourself
after years of being told
you should do everything but

What changed?
          is it optimism
          or a new bed of lies

          forgiven scars
          or prophecies


What's choices without emotions
Why is that wrong
-tdf

Your hands are not sandpaper
You can't round my sharp edges,
Or scratch away the good parts of me.
Your fingers are not cages
Capable of capturing my hopes and dreams
And tucking them into a dark corner
To be forgotten about
Until a rainy day
When I go searching for them
In every cardboard box stacked in the attic.
Your eyes are not black holes
That will **** me in
And spit me back out
In outer space untethered to anything
So that I may float around
Devoid of gravity
And responsibility.
Your hair is not a net
Which will tangle my limbs
And refuse to release me
Until I submit to your commands.
You are not a strong current
Beating me endlessly
Before sweeping me out to sea
Because I am capable of standing
On my own two feet
And walking up the bank
To dry land
And safety.

this floor feels like a raft
& i am a castaway
in an ocean of empty bottles
"don't worry wilson -
i'll do all the paddling"*
wading through the night
looking for morning's land
the soothing, softness of sand
i still feel you,
like phantom limbs
clinging to my hips
like the tide to the beach
like the smoke to my lungs
beer & cigarettes heavy on my breath
dread weighing heavy on my chest
last night,
my fantasy you fell out of love
with my saintly me.