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I have lived a thousand lives and died a million deaths.
And somewhere in between, I finally found myself.
I can never compensate for the poems I have misplaced,
Yet I proceed to shed sincere ink upon an empty canvas,
and revert towards elusive answers.
I once again resort to the preferred instrument,
And stumble into a liberating trance.

However, genuine introspection often
Unearths wretched recurring recollections,
That have served as the creative source
For previous poetry collections,
Some of which cannot be read
Without a deep sense of dread,
Hence I flinch from acknowledgment instead.

How disoriented am I?
As disoriented as 20 year old Kimberly
Her derelict of a son is an embodiment
Of her youth blues memories.

How aimless it must be to venture
Amidst the sanctum of stagnation.
It was not long before even the architect
Began to disdain his own laborious creation.

Why wouldn't he?

He was a fool to build
A foundation out of complacency.
The structure is able to endure
Since it thrives off of a perpetual tragedy
Of self-defeating beliefs, lascivious senses,
And misguided aspirations.

Unfortunately, whoever it houses
Collapses out of utter exasperation.
An inevitable predicament I predict
Will confront me as soon as I deteriorate mentally.

The sanctum itself testifies to an aphorism
I recount hearing during a melancholic plight:
Truthfully, throughout the ages,
Fallibility has always been
Among humanity's playwrights.

6/18/13

(c) 2013 Brandon Antonio Smith
Dip my broken wings
into your heavy black
ink. Kiss my cranberry
coloured chapped lips
and grab onto my hips.
Ride me like a dragon
with fiery breath. Let
me touch you and watch
you turn ruby red. I'll wrap
you in my black angelic wings
instead of getting out of your
bed. You my love are who
brought me back from the
dead* ~
She had an appeal, attraction
One in which could never be named
Or known.
Her spirit attracted souls -
The injured, the sore, the sorrows
Of those smothered by darkness.
She reassured those pained of
The life that could be lived.
She painted pictures with her eyes
Of the landscapes that raised her
In the outback hills, riding horses
Freely, wild.
She was a blank page -
She could be anyone or anything
Your imagination could dream.
Her body contorted
Every personality was saved within.
The souls she allowed inhabit
Were of mystic mediums, she was
A passer of all.
She was the poignant reminder of suffering
Of past, present and future.
And it was that vulnerability
That vacant distance in her eyes
Those windows into a soul,
Suppressed, restrained
******* of self.
It was that vulnerability
That sent a small sparrow
Barely out of the nest
To drown in rivers of despair so young.
© Sia Jane
My once serene friend
Lashed at me relentlessly
With blue black turbulence.
Before doing so,
He bellowed a roar,
Foreshadowing
Betrayal, and doom.

Originally written in 2007
Revised 11/25/14

(c) 2014 Brandon Antonio Smith
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