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braelynn Feb 2019
for the first time
since the last time
i think i stopped missing you
today.
braelynn Feb 2019
theres a breaking point inside of us.
it can be hard to find.
we are all made out of glass, and we act as if we arent breakable.
we treat ourselves with caution,
yet neglect every other fragile thing around us.
braelynn Feb 2019
every day i wake up and tell myself not to think of you.
i try very hard not to think of you.
your eyes, the way you made me laugh whenever i was down, the fact that we had every little detail, even to our favorite video game in common.
believe it or not, i try not to think about you.

and then i get ready for the day.
i sit down on the edge of my bed,
routinely if you will.
and i look into the mirror opposite my bed on the wall.
and behind me i see the black curtains that have been in my room since forever.
the ones that also happen to be in the back of a picture of us taken not so long ago.
its silly to be upset over that, right?
its silly that i feel like im going to throw up,
just from sitting at the end of my bed,
right?

so a few days ago, i decided to do something.
i moved my bed.
all the way into the corner, away from everything else in my room.
away from the thought of you.
and i thought this would fix my issue.
it didnt.

do you understand what im saying?
cant you see what im seeing?
everything reminds me of you.

no bed arrangement would stop me from thinking about you.
its hard knowing you dont think of me.
it doesnt even matter which way i take to my spanish class,
because i always bump into you.
and you remain on my mind.
UGH.
braelynn Feb 2019
please be considerate,
of the people around you
im not calling you illiterate,
but i think the words coming from your mouth are quite improper.
braelynn Feb 2019
youre the one that came to my house when we broke up
we were just kids, but you rode your bike almost an hour,
just to cry with me on the floor of my garage.
braelynn Jan 2019
i wish you knew the real me.
the one that didnt get shakey hands whenever you were near,
the one that was able to stand up for myself.
i wish you knew the me i was before you made me feel so small.

before i felt like nobody cared,
and that i was here for nothing.
like i was nothing.
i wish you knew the real me,
maybe you do.

maybe you brought out the insecurities ive hid away under my bed over the past years,
maybe this is me.
i miss the old me.
who am i anymore?
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