Today's the day.
Today's the day I go home.
Today's the day I see them again.
I see my friends.
I see my family.
I should be so happy.
I just can't get over this overwhelming fear.
What will happen...
What will happen when I see him again?

There's this girl who want to be with me.
And I use to want to be with her so badly.
There's this guy who is inlove with me and wants a second chance.
I use to want a new chance with him so much.
There's all these people I am finding.
That just want to be with me.
Who I would be with.
Yet...
Because of him.
I can't.
I never will.
My heart still belongs to him.
Why won't this madness end.
Why must I still love him.
Does true love actually exist.
Or am I eternally ******* by heartbreak.

A group of teenagers piled together.
A group of guys and one girl.
The best friends of a lifetime.
They her bothers.
She their sister.
They are each others family.
A group of teenagers piled together.
Six people, one couch.
Laps being sat upon.
Voices intermingling.
Laughs being shared.
Arms around one another.
Smiling in all the pictures.
Happy for a single moment just because they're all together.
All their anger,
All their sadness of the world.
Hidden in the background.
Distracted by the help of friends.
The care they have for one another.
The feeling of home.
The feeling of belonging.
The feeling of family they hold in each other.
A group of teenagers piled together.
Six people, one car.
Crowed in.
Practically on top of the other.
Singing at the top of their lungs.
Dancing in the little room they have.
Windows down with the wind pouring in.
Driving with no destination in mind.

A group of teenagers piled together.
Four people, sitting in a room.
Voices still intermingling.
Laughs still being shared.
Yet something is missing.
*Something that nobody is saying.

I don't know what it is like to raise a child.
I praise all who have.
I lost my child.
I miscarried and lost the ability to ever hold that baby.
Ever look into their eyes.
See their smile.
Hear their laugh.

I do know what it's like to fear for your child.
Scream with everything in you for that baby to be safe and healthy.

I know what it's like to love your child.
Love them so much it redefines your understanding of love.

I know what it's like to know that you're creating a life.
That you'd do anything to protect that life.
You would give your own life for their safety.

I never had the chance to meet my child.
Though I felt that baby inside of me.
I feed that baby.
I loved with everything inside of me.
I would have given my own life for theirs.
So their eyes could meet the world.

I never had my baby.
Yet, that baby changed my entire life.
Changed the way I loved.  
The way I saw the world.
The way I looked at life.
Even though the time I had it, was short.
The time I knew I had it, even shorter.

I understand now that all parents do everything out of fear and love.
Anxiety over their child being hurt.
Going through the hardships they did.
Because they want their world to be bright and happy.
Filled with love.
So take a moment and be thankful for your parents.
Their love for you is one none can describe.

I loved my baby.
In a way no words will ever explain.

Did he really know me.
Did he know the way I pulled my hair from its ponytail.
The way I knew how he fixed his.
Did he know when I was upset without showing.
As I did with him.
Did he want to know my family.
The places I grew up.
The way I knew his family.
The way I wanted to see where he once lived.
Did he truly know me.
The way I knew him.
Loved me.
The way I loved him.
If he did know me better.
Would he have stayed.
Or left sooner.
If he did know me like I thought.
Is that why he stayed as long as he did.
Did he leave just because he forgot.
He forgot who I am.
We hit a rough patch.
I forgot who I was.
He must have too.

Rain pouring down on an old roof.
Thunder roaring through the sky.
Lightning streaking past.
Wind swayed trees.
Soaking wet clothes.
Water glistening hair.
Then there's her.
Dancing without a care in the world.