Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
 Jan 2014 Shane Bernardo
Amanda
My lips have been kissed by the white lies
etched on the back of my eyelids.

Even the lulling tendrils sleep cannot blank it out.

I see it every single time the time strikes midnight.
Slowly but surely it mingles into my very fingertips.

Filling the empty space in me.
Which is everywhere.

If I said: " No, I am not cracked, bruised
and
that
my very soul hasn't been diluted by the bittersweet goodbye from your lips to mine.

White lie 1.

When your footsteps walked away, mine wasn't hesitating, cold and lost.

White lie 2.

If I said I didn't pray for rain, so my tears will meet their own.

White lie 3.

And above all,

If I ever say
" I didn't love him with every breath I have taken and will take in this universe that doesn't quite feel that starry and vast anymore."

Sweet heart, that is
white lie

.
I hope you darling readers enjoy this.

It was somewhat difficult to pen this.

To  find the right words to write or say is always somewhat challenging.

x x x
I'm far from a prophetic
man.
I don't care enough
about those Ill leave behind.
Or those I pass on
Gaffey street.
Through the years
of living hard and without
I've come to discover
greatness.
I've come so close
to cracking.
So close to embracing that
injured hand
of madness.

I have emerged from
the solitary prison cells
and the sad existence
of life locked into
a drug den I called
my home.
I've come out
the other side
with a densely
colored vision of
it all.

It's not all
in Greys,
but with the times
I've spent in the Grey.
Thus gave birth to
my convictions.
 Jan 2014 Shane Bernardo
Jaz
I've gotten myself a secret chest
Full of letters that won't lie.
Stored inside would be all me,
I'd write until I die.
They'd be filled with words I never said
To you to you and you.
They're everything I ever loved,
They're everything I ever hated,
They're everything I felt


Whilst you were gone.
Finally got myself a journal to cope with things.
I think I need it.
 Jan 2014 Shane Bernardo
Renae
Un-
 Jan 2014 Shane Bernardo
Renae
Un-
I can still write words
Words unseen, unappreciated
Unheard
I can still pen my emotions
In black & blue
twisting syllables and sentences
So you won't understand
How it feels to be lonely
Abandoned & rejected
I can write words
You'll have to find
Through dictionary pages
And perhaps you might not
Have the time
So instead you'll sigh unimpressed
And close the book
lately i've been gathering my feelings
and have been trying to put them into my poetry
but they don't exactly come out how i want them to

i have words in my mind
but as they process through to my fingers
i, all of a sudden, turn numb
as if the words have frozen in my veins

i wouldn't say i'm depressed
more like a little unsatisfied with the things that have been happening lately
or the things that haven't been happening

and everyone says to stay happy
but it's easy to say that
when you're not the one overthinking every night;
it's easy to say that because you're happy with your own life

but of course i'm not upset that you're happy
for all i know, you probably deserve to be
i'm just sick and tired of hearing that i should lighten up
from people who aren't constantly dodging the darkness
from people who aren't battling between what they want, have and need
and most of all, from people who think they know
exactly what i'm feeling
when they really have no idea

*a
the explanation for all my (kind of) depressing poems. i haven't really been myself lately and poetry's helped me release some of my stress; even if i'm not really good at it. this is just a little rant i wanted to get out there. please don't take what you have for granted because nothing should have to disappear for us to realize what we once had or what was once there.
I used to think thesaurus was a name for a type of dinosaur.
 Jan 2014 Shane Bernardo
tayler
darkness signals the
retreat into
the shell
of sea-side
sounds.
they whisper
innermost thoughts
of blindness and
profound seconds
of suspended
fallen flowers.

the recluse
can see more
in the deepest night
than the lightest
day.

thoughts circle with
the stars, as the
atrophy of apathy
begins
and the menagerie of
faltering frowns
follows.
I wait for you
A cold night breaths fire
I want you
A whisper of death
Young and naive
Stories never told
Wish we were brave
Pages burned and fold
A book of love
Rotten and diseased
Old and forgotten
Tears are never pleased
Paper boats and dragons
Scared of rain and fire
In a forest far away
A witch sits idle
The brooms broken
Can you fix the night
The doors open
Blurring the sight
Lies haunts the truth
A mirror broken with age
Mechanical animals
Producing all that rage
And words bleed of blood
Stains that can't be washed
On shores far away
Tears of love awash
And closet in darkness
Hides the monsters that lurk
And creatures of night
Kills and feeds on Murk
And god falls down
now there's no throne
Prayers unanswered
Now you're on your own
Bleeding faith
Cuts and scars were fake
Poisoned and infected
Merry thoughts they make
Don't be late
See the love *****
Best show in town
Monsters can't wait
To come out and scream
And come back in my dreams
I can't sleep
Nightmares makes me weep
Oceans too deep
Darkness in every drop
Clean it with a mop
Sea reclaims a boat
Broken hearts don't float
A wound left to rot
Made of dungeons and moats
Sky is falling down
Where will birds fly
Wings finally burned
But lessons never learned
In search of someone
We lose ourselves
A little warmth
And even glaciers melt
Legs can only crawl
Words can start a brawl
Broken glass cuts
And we want it evermore
To bleed us of desires
And save us from the fire
Ashes paints the canvas
Holy stone is a liar
Fallen rattles the cage
Arrow kills the sage
Straight to the heart
escaping soul feeds the rage
And we walk in a maze
Skeletons no longer amaze
Dead speaks of life
Time keeps running unfazed
At a quite space
Enters the madman with claws
He wants your dreams
Asleep or not
River faces the draught
Ice melts in snow
Dead sings a song
A sapling Dosen't grows
Sticks breaks the bone
Sticks breaks by stone
Skulls cracked and crackled
All the pain is Borne
Your thoughts come and go
Wrists are cut
And blood flows
And we drink from the crown
Kings lies dead on the floor
His kingdom drowned
We cant escape hell hounds
Trapped in an Ashned castle
The mob burned it down to the ground
Mute queen weeps of fame
Now her beauty sits in a frame
Waited for her song
But the words never came
Old man sits with a cane
A lion without a mane
Predator is hunted too
Forest burned down again
Lost thoughts pass away
Never stopping this fray
You can have it in any colour
As long as its in grey..
I wish I could go back in time
And fix all the wrongs I'd done
I wish I could go back in time
And do a better job of convincing you
You're so beautiful, you're a wonderful girl...
I always thought that...
I know I tried because
I remember telling you that I'd think so even if you weren't mine
And I remember explaining to you
How I really felt about you
I remember telling you
That you were the reason
I thought I believed in God
Because you were so heavenly,
To me...

But those days, they passed
I took things too far
I left a bite on your neck
We did some things I wish I hadn't pushed on you
And
Then the world came crumbling down,
I got ripped a new one
I realized how insignificant my life really was
Compared to yours
Because that's all your mother would tell me when she was fuming that night
And the threats, the mention of deadlines, things I needed to accomplish,
To keep you,...
I ... I just ...
I don't know what got into me but I wasn't myself
I was a shell of myself
I changed...
Ripped open by the lioness which is your mother
My insides eaten out by your screaming step-father
Don't come back here, they said

Why did I start this poem talking about how I wish I could go back
And help you
And then unintentionally end it with the flashbacks
Of that night in June
And the days that followed

I'm feeling so small
The world is so big without you
But I feel so big, too, like I'm way too big, like I wish I was a bacteria
Because all I did was infect the life of the only person I love
You convinced me I'm a disease
And I think I'm pretty sure now that I'm not meant to be good enough
I'll never be good enough to you
And that's all that mattered to me
And
And
I feel like
The space I occupy
The air I consume
When I'm gasping for air, rocking back and forth at 2 in the morning...
I feel like
It would be better spent
Being used by someone else
Or at least, I should reserve some more for you
I would die for you, like I said I always would have...
But I never thought about it like this...
I really want to die...it's making my sick, I almost want to smile...
I feel like, if I killed myself, that over time you'd get over it...
And that everyone would help you...
And you'd finally not have to hear from me anymore...
I wouldn't be here to bother you anymore...
Because I think that's the only way I'll be able to shut my sorry mouth...

Anyways, you're still the reason I live...and
I'm running out of things to hold onto
I'm slipping and soon I'll fall to my death
You're not holding your hand out to help me anymore
And I can't catch a grip...
6.2
My hopes, dreams
They were you.
Next page