Rainy day people and frogs
Packed New York streets, mossy bogs
Umbrella or bumbershoot
In quagmire and crowded route
Splashing masses, polliwogs

Precipitation, cascade
The alley or everglade
Plebeians and ***** toads
Wetlands, winding back roads
Holding brolly or sunshade

Mobs, croaker in the wallow
Soggy marsh, bypass below
A sprinkle, pitter-patter
Parasol, doesn't matter
Your bullfrog and average Joe

Polka Dot, Polka Dot, a one pony show
Strange name for a child, but she loves it so
Cheerful wee girl with sweet smile aglow
Adores all round shapes, expects you to know

Her twenty one garments sport assorted dots
Basic eight pairs of footwear, orange and green spots
Gaudy bows for her hair, with colored rings, lots
Dot sees spheres imbedded in her eyes and thoughts

Blankets and curtains, guess what, dots and lace
The spotted mouse toy for the cat to chase
Walls with orbs and specks on all space
In the right light they reflect on your face

Dot's off to school with a polka dot hat
Coat, umbrella with circles, imagine that
Polka dotted notebooks, pencils and backpack
Rides pink spotted two wheeler, parks in bike rack

Poor Polka Dot started feeling sickly ill
Sent to school nurse where she refused a pill
Saw the Doc, calamine lotion and advice to chill
Spots! Chickenpox! Polka Dots notable thrill

The illuminati , a secret society
Gain wealth, power and notoriety
Sold soul to the devil for promised riches
Many well known, his *******
Overtime, accidental glitches

Secret is out due to young generation
The up and coming population
To catch the famous throwing up signs
Subliminal message, invades our minds
Television, campaigns...there's all kinds

The power in the hands, you will never believe
Throughout past ages the sickness breeds
Many preach peace from the devils dark
side
Lennon, Dr. King, Malcolm all died

Are Gods followers keen to the onset tide?

With greed an power the dark one temps the meek
Those that turn, are submissive and weak
A few famous names in powerful places
Obama, kennedys ....won there races
Washington, Lincoln....two old faces
All above, in this secret society
Makes you ponder their priority

One famous man that held great power
Warned of illuminati ...Dwight D Eisenhower

If you hate rap music you should give it a listen
Little Wayne, JZ - surprised what your missin
The Commander and Chief is given wide berth
This society is strong on this earth

If you think I'm crazy, which you surely will Google it....Youtube it......you'll get your fill

I love you my child
I don't know how to help you anymore
You continue to die your slow death
It's painful for us both
To watch you killing yourself with no way to stop
To see you so all alone
Living your life from hell
Watching you living with demons
I curse the devil and his minions
To watch you convice yourself to give up and die
It kills me inside
I love you child
I've always loved you and always will
I don't think you're long for this earth
The slow mental and physical deterioration
has accelerated
The doctors give you one short year
I cry for the hurt in your heart
I cry for the torture in your soul
I cry for the pain in your unhealthy body
I cry because you think I don't love you
Don't give up and die my little one
I physically ache for loving and losing you
Living a life I would never have chosen for you
I love you my child
Please see a glimpse of the light in my soul
Let it guide you to peace
Non reversible is your disease
I'm tormented with the fear of losing you
I can't watch anymore
I can't see you do this to yourself
Don't die my sweet little girl
Don't leave me behind
My love for you is insurmountable
Your love for yourself is long gone
Let's love eachother for the time you have left
I love you more than theses mere words express
I love you more than my own life
Don't cry little one for I am here

1pck. pre- cooked lasagna noodles
2 jars spaghetti sauce w/ onion&garlic;
17 oz. Ricotta cheese
1 t. sweet basil
1 t. oregano
1 egg
1 lb.ground, browned Italian sausage
3 cups mozzarella
1 cup grated parmesian

Preheat oven(with some innocent play)
Mix:
Ricotta(to add some excitement)
Basil and oregano(to spice it up)
Mix in beaten egg(to add stability)

Use ungreased 8x10 pan(to hold the comfort of it all)

Layer:
1 cup sauce(to swap a sweetened kiss)
Even out1/4 sausage(to add some spontaneity)
Place pasta in row(to layer with anticipation)
Spread ricotta(mixed with the above)
Sprinkle 1/4 mozzarella( to stretch the imagination)
Repeat steps 1-5(until pan is full of emotion)
Parmesian on top( to please)

Bake 1 hour at 350•( to heat up the love)
Cool 45 minutes( to lay in each others arms)

To discover human remains
Cinched to the rafters
he leapt off
Adorned in the noose
a morbid necklace
Inner turmoil no more to live

A note deserted in drunken scrawl
In shreds
those left behind
Fatherless innocents
inquire why
No rationalization
for a senseless deed

Aching at the formalities
Enduring our shared existence
Bye is the lifetime
that remains in the past
Dried up are all the tears
Angst with respect to an echo
Horror lays imprinted on my mind
Forever gone

Pine treed mountains
mid winters grip
Frigid blast
blankets all

Victuals scarcity,
wildlife hungers
Wolves scavenge
aimlessly

Eerie silence settles,
storm passed
Quiescent solitude
seemingly abandoned

Vicious temps split
frozen tree bark
Sounds, sudden
percussion

snow shoe challenge
trekking untouched expanse
cracking beneath


rock climbing boots
eyeing open summit
crevaase shifts


lifetime chances
snowbound slide buries all
expanse untouched

What happened to me in my life
What I have allowed to be forced on me
Silenced my emotional growth
I speak of abuse
Physical verbal spiritual
In time I quit feeling
Was emotionally dead

Denied acceptance love hope
Caused anxiety despair and inner death
Welcomed loneliness to close the door on unbelievable pain
Cursed the world that seemed beyond my grasp

Alienated myself to the point of becoming uncomfortable in my own scarred skin
Being repeatedly told I was worthless made me someone other than myself
I was in a world full of others but did not exist

Peoples joys brought me tears
Joys I found were sorrowful
The birth of my babies into this lonely world
How could I love and protect them
I didn't love and protect myself
My cries went unnoticed
Confirming what I knew
I no longer mattered
The loneliness was agonizing
Some shell of me was left behind to be ridiculed and abused

Detached further from the world
Wept only in my dreams where my mind and body were safe
No way to escape- no one to turn to
After years I turned to God
With much bravery and spiritual strength I moved on

I am alone
You are alone
We are alone together
I am alive unique
I deserve to live- give and receive love

exhausted mare foals
scenting oats hay leather wood
from hay loft girl spys

Rolling hemp
Legalized
Sweet Jesus



Wheelchair bound
Brave heart
Deems respect



Grinding brown beans
Aroma wafts
Favorite mug



Burritos
Frijoles
Flatulence

Summer's still here, it's nearing fall
Worldwide excitement, it's FOOTBALL!
This season starts the fans are wild
Time for the game, the players are riled

All in orange, tailgating before
Manning takes field, the crowd they roar
Toss the coin, we will receive
Want ball at half, won't deceive

They punt real high just watch it soar
Takes a knee, the twenty, no more
The blazing sun, outside it's hot
Cold beer and dogs, the fans they bought

The first pass is incomplete
Groans from throng and stomping feet
The second play, under control
Our running back finds a huge hole
First down their forty yard line
Thus far we are doing fine

The ball snaps and Peyton drops back
Four man rush, he's down for the sack
One more pass it's intercepted
To the fans this is unexpected

Out comes the opposing team
What's this, for Manning they scream
It's Eli in his red, white and blue
This is too much, you feel it too
Brothers face off in a game
Greatness is all in the name

Both teams run, tackle, hit hard and pass
Tied game, seconds left, do we come in last The field goal squad must do their best
Prader lines up, misses all in jest

            OVERTIME :-)

Grasping vagrancy in one's child
Most simplistic act is not
Fractured maternal heart bleeds wild
Suffered soul the abyss caught
Crucible ever prevails fraught

Futile remedy ailment breeds
Posturing all heedless things
Neglecting primal earthly needs
Harsh inebriant trappings
Averse entirely lucid pleads

Clamping malady straining chest
Wakeful blackness vanished days
Clutched slight suckling babe at my breast
Cast tears enduring malaise
Reflection of having caressed

Tragic sustinence chosen vile
Sighted resolves not to see
Relentless self imposed exile
Indifferent to love me
Offer life to capture a smile

Grasping vagrancy in one's child
Cognizant of special spot
An alternative to beguiled
Alter processes of thought
I am needing to know she fought

Mental disability what an epigram, it bounds on burried complexity
Titter inside hysterical effectuation
Feeling electrical currents misfiring in my cerebellum
Screaming unremebered prayers in my night terrors at the devils fornication
Remaining in my presence, anticipating my sleep
***** to reverse the dementia
Waking day dreams, lost in unreality
Descry vociferation calling my name
Wanting to claw my etes out against nebulous shadows creeping behind
Wanting a medium to banih apparitions from my space
Paranoid of all establishment
While securing eye contact with others, they could decipher all my thoughts
With binoculars neighbors surveil
Me camouflaged with drawn shades and pale skin
To go outside summoned all my demons
Wanting to battle, rage war to fulfill some morbid desire
Annihilating hordes in my dreams by any means
***** to reverse the madness
OCD for a little control
A million times repeated thoughts flashing in my eyes
Confusion! What day is it? Am I doing something wrong?
Not glancing in mirrors hiding from myself Garbled guttural utterances in my left ear
Hot breath on my neck
Bawling at flexibility and spontaneity
Not in my scheme for the coming confusing hours
Wanting to pull my skull off exposing the insanity
Just wanted it to STOP!!
***** to reverse the derangement
Limbs not answering brain waves crisscrossed as they dwell
On a daily basis surviving hell
On a nightly basis in true hell
Needing to shriek and explode
Afraid to sleep, walking in exhausted dreams
Broken pains in my bones
No peace day or night
My medication saved my life

Sunny day in June, the tenth to be exact
The horrible day my sister was attacked
Beth was in the house, her friend Mark outside
She was cleaning,he in the yard kept with pride

Beth Anne was on hands and knees scrubbing the floor
When she heard real gunshots, at least she swore
Snuck to the window and peered out with care
On the rocky driveway, saw Mark sprawled out there

Been shot three times in his back,lay in his blood
Beth saw her ex...with a .38 he stood
While terrified, behind the aquarium she ducked
Brad blundered in dressed in hunters camouflage- ****

Her heart hammering in her ears, bursts of short breaths
Saw him through the murky water, planning two deaths
Beth Anne cowered down praying to her dear Lord
He found her, pulled her up by the hair, fired once more

The bullet blew off her ear and traveled on down
Collapsed her lungs, in her blood she would drown
Brad disappeared and the firing just stopped
For Mexico he fled, red ranger with white top

Beth dragged herself the complete length of the rug
Called 911, shed been shot...head ringing from slug
She was determined to live, wouldn't give up the fight
But then she passed out endangering her plight

Came the Greeley police, fire trucks, EMT's
Assessed the situation, perp further he flees
They all worked on Mark, too late he was dead
One smart responder....woman shot in the head

They spreading out rushed the house, found my sis
Beth was unresponsive, victim almost missed
Speeding to Weld County General, sirens blaring
Got her in the ER cut off what she was wearing

O.R. She went with damage extensive
Not much hope, docs and staff apprehensive
For many hours they sawed, pinned, stitched and closed
The ICU threat of infection posed

Her body and face were unrecognizable
Family stood believing the impossible

Appeared an Adonis with blonde hair and blue eyes
Talk of afterlife evidently not lies
Her guardian angel told Beth he was there
Would appear much later, in death they would share

A decent man in this world alone
DrIfting, dreaming about going home
Disappeared years ago, down the road
Mental illness, carried heavy load

Wandering daily from town to state
A handyman for hunger to slate
This man in it's grip, the devils brew
Loveless traveler no goals, no clue

Well trodden shoes worn to a shred
Shabby garments hanging like lead
No coat, no bag, had nothing left
His numbed out mind wholly bereft

An upstanding man once clean shaven
Matted hair and beard, no offered haven
To hunger and thirst in this sad way
Calculated risk leaving that day

To acknowledge failure, too **** proud
Never to return he boldly vowed
His people and love, no mail, no call
Family wondering if he lives at all

Lifes loneliest soul, filled with self hate
Reshaping existence, now too late
Loved ones lost an incredible man
Need to pray and move on, if they can

Trial of homelessness strikes close to my heart
It's s difficult to put down in part
My poor baby daughter a ghost on the street
For a bottle, a meal, she'd ***** men she'd meet

This is such a sad and dangerous way
To live a desperate life everyday
The hardest part was watching her die
Not the life I'd have chosen, wonder why?

She was a very hostile and hurtful drunk
True tough love on my part, how low I had sunk
Muscular Dystrophy was part of her plight
She saw only darkness, was too tired to fight

She seized even while downing her *****
Early scerosis, extended abuse
I cried for her at night, worried all day
She called from jail, detox and a hospital stay

I once had to search for her as Jane Doe
In a panic I found her, back out shed go
I felt so mad, sad and **** confused
My sarah was out there, with who I mused

Homeless are people with heart and soul
Whether they choose or not to live this role
I know from experience that this is true
Sarah is loving, giving.....caring too

She had cried to me that I loved her no more
I wrote her a poem to convince and implore
Her to live and I loved her, I swore

I read her that poem in her hospital bed
We both cried, she'd get help,she actually said
She's now a month sober, attending AA
Happily sarah has a safe place to stay
I pray to the Lord that she finds her way

freeborn mustang lopes
unchained throughout curtailed life
fur snared in barbed wire

Sitting on a swinging porch bench
Sipping slightly sweetened ice tea
Sunshine massaging my wrinkled face

Scenting fresh earth and leaves at my feet
Sounds of traffic absent
Sassy racket of resident Blue Jays

Spying clear majestic Rocky Mountains
Separated by half bare multicolored trees
Sky clear blue with wispy clouds

Sitting forever with no cares
Shutting out the bustling world
Soaking in Autumns wondrous glory

The excitement builds before the show
Appearance anticipated, let's go
Out comes 2llen with applause galore
Crowd won't quiet, stoked for what's in store

Must say Ellen is such a **** dude
Whoops, oh...she's a she, I'm extremely rude
Ellen dresses with such casual care
Not a piece out of line, her fancy hair

Ellen completely involves her crowd
The silly shenanigans make them loud
She dances to the music everywhere
Famous for her moves, she then heads for the chair

She straddles the table with practiced skill for her advanced age and without a pill
She moves on to a famous brilliant guest
Uncommon talent to bring out their best

Music for the show picked eloquently
Ellen and staff almost always agree
The gifts she gives, the audience adore
Generosity leaves them wanting more

Cute that her mom's at every taping
Even stays awake and keeps from gaping
Ellen is actually my favorite host
Please forgive me, this little roast

If  you're in the mood for a real good time
Tune to Ellen at three, on channel nine
You won't be disappointed, far from IT!
It's world wide known that Ellen's the "****"

eighty pound baboon
enticing lover to swoon
bough snapping bafoon

There was a goofy green frog, Eli was his name
He danced for Princess Malia, it's how he earned his fame
She adored sitting on her throne to watch him entertain
He boogied and did back flips, he loved this little game

Eli had a tiny frog house with eveything inside
A couch, love seat, TV, a bed was double wide
He kept it very tidy with a broom, vacuum and pride
His favorite was his Fry Daddy, for flies deep fat fried

Princess Malia, of course, had a castle on the hill
Waited on, hand and foot, she only had to chill
Wore gorgeous dresses and diamond tiaras at her will
But bored with her lavish life, Eli fit the bill

At 3:30 on the dot, the small frog danced everyday
The Princess got so excited, the help did hear her say
She got seated at 3 pm and that is where she'd stay
Right on time came Eli, grooving and twisting all the way

Eli entertained...and the Princess did demand
That the frog be introduced, then he kissed her royal hand
The two became fast friends, as quick as fast friends can
She moved his tiny house into the castle, that was grand

Eli and Malia were just as tight as they could be
The frog quit entertaining, a great playmate was he
The Princess, lonely no more, was perfect for he and she
They lived happily ever after, Eli danced for free

Surviving beneath bypass
Cardboard ripping, some spyglass
Thin covering, protection
Sharpening knife, perfection

Past life professional man
Bad karma, God, dealt sad hand
Panhandling corner right here
Homemade sign makes purpose clear

People ignoring, glower
Certainly love hot shower
Having nothing accept rags
Don't own anything, no bags

Eating something, drugging, *****
What's needed most cannot choose
Spent long hot days begging cash
Got *****, finished dining trash

Trodded back to cardboard home
Peeking out feeling all alone

There once was a man in Arvada
Who'd come all the way from Nevada
Wanted out of Vegas
Crook came to plague us
To Blackhawk for the whole enchilada

This chap had a thousand in his jeans
Like a cheap skate played nickel machines
He then put five cents in
Pulled bar back with a win
Cashed in, stuffed pockets bulging at seams

This gent was now sky high about life
Didn't care, left nine kids and a wife
Took chair to play Blackjack
Got chips, greased his hair back
The dealer sensed this fellow meant strife

The guy played, won, his streak unmarred
Counting Aces, kings, Queens, Jacks - every card
He raised some suspicion
From the owners position
They'd seen this before and come down hard

They escorted the cad out, such a pity
Got caught again, thought he was witty
So he drove far away
To the New Jersey bay
Was so close to Atlantic City

I am an alcoholic
i used to smoke and drink
But now my drug of choice
is notebook paper and ink

I can't get enough
it goes right to my head
Keep my pen and pad
right next to my bed

I'm a ****** when
it comes to composition
Used to scratch tickets
another sad addiction

In the distant past
stocked up on bottles of *****
Now it's ink and paper
that I wisely choose

I love to scribble,
compose and formulate
Of my poetry I have
a jealous mate

I write at night
So as not to ignore him
But this is important
it's not jut a whim

When I'm out of paper or ink
I go thru withdrawl
An envelope, a sticky note
most anything to scrawl

Verse, rhyme, sonnet, rondeau
I really love it all
If I'm not careful I'll
Start penning on the wall

Try to write a poem daily
I need to get my fix
Limerick, Haiku it
doesn't matter the mix

It's an addiction
I can take and run
It helps inside
And is lots of fun

On a Lilly pad a frog sat alone
He jumped in the water, a splash he'd known
Frog swam and swam until he met his pal
On another Lilly pad sat crazy Hal

Hal had ideas, the frog wasn't sure
His plans were not always completely pure
Frog followed Hal thru the grassy quagmire
They'd gone fairly far, Frog began to tire

It started to sprinkle very large drops
The two hid in the marsh with a few hops
Hal whispered his plan in Frogs little ear
To Scare Miss Lady it became very clear


Miss Lady was such a beautiful gal
She really liked Frog, but not ornery Hal
She, always waiting for some sneaky prank
Tired of their shenanigans to be quite frank

Miss Lady was planning to turn the table
Prank those two, she was perfectly able
She sat up her scheme in the mossy bog
When here came that Hal, followed by Frog
Miss lady was on her favorite pad
She couldn't help but be a little mad
Miss Lady cried out, she needed a hand
She led them just inches from the quicksand

This little prank could have been quite a mess
Miss Lady scared them she had to confess
They quickly backed up in total surprise
The three agreed to end pranks and eat some flies

Snow pack dissolves, shrinking icecaps
Trickles, connects with succinct spring
Runs down frigid, joins brook
Babbling, descends to stream

Meanders past meadow land
With butterfly ****, rippling grasses
Flows through tributary into river
Enters the rocky canyon

Cliffs high as cotton clouds
Jagged, angular, shadowed sunlight
Chilly air rising off splashing rocks
Echoes of rushing, rumbling

Fresh scent of Blue Spruce, sappy pine cones
Churning white water, mile long
Cutting rocky gorge

Raging river travels with purpose reverberates around bend
Water falls towards paradise
Pummels hard to form pool

Surrounded by grassy fronds of Deerhair bulrush, Hydrangea, Lady Rue and Button Bush trees
         My secret sanctuary

overgrown pond hides
ferns swaying refreshing breeze
young boys jump off dock

Going to at last quit smoking
Just talked to the long winded Quitline
I'm tired of hacking and choking
Birthday, December third deadline

Going to use the well known patch
I was successful once before
No frustration searching for match
Or missing lighter anymore

Hairdo won't be smelly, clothes stink
My mouth tasting like an ashtray
It should be easier I think
Cause I truly want it this way

Shocked, first time was simple for me
It lasted for over a year
Relapsed as you can plainly see
I'll do it again, will adhere

Apparent wrinkles will thank me
Blackened, struggling lungs will too
Patches are delivered for free
Like ads, I don't want to be blue

Added cost of smoking is steep
Now almost six dollars a pack
My jeans empty pockets run deep
I'll save money, quite a stack

There are certain times I'll miss it
After ***, with morning coffee
Plus, I will be healthier, ****
Try it, it's completely free

(1-800-784-8669)

Mistral streams from the sea
Gusts over uneven terrain
Zephyr carries with purpose on its journey
Draft whirls leaves from a neat pile
Blast ***** my hair in my eyes
Sally arches well rooted trees
Breeze makes a baby catch its breath
Air current sways a free floating kite
Surge rotates cyclone with malevolence
Squall powers voluminous sails
Flutter lands spinning trash at my feet
Tempest moves on and is gone

A fresh wound is my heart
A dark void is my soul
To love completely minus control
An abrupt ending to a cherished role

A fresh wound is my heart
Emptiness of all space
To caress kiss an angelic face
Withheld from my grasp every last trace

A fresh wound is my heart
With the absence of care
I'm needing missing wanting to share
Without touch sound and sight you aren't there

A fresh wound is my heart
To just have and to hold
Return of love gone precious as gold
Once warmth of my spirit hardened cold

A fresh wound is my heart
Ever the tiniest thing
Tears loss and pain such sadness they bring
Reminds me of loves genuine being

A fresh wound is my heart
You are off on your own
Miss you immensely feel all alone
Bleak nothingness and vacancy have grown

A fresh wound is my soul
I want you back with me
I offered you up it will never be
Love your face in my dreams....you and me

There I sat with a cast and black eye
Just got small children down for the night
Tim decided to take tots for a swim
"Over my dead body", I yelled at him

We discussed our views in loud voices
Continued to fight, made bad choices
Very soon Westminsters finest pulled up
Domestic situation, cops abrupt

Got both sides of story, mine in jest
Smart *** me, I was soon under arrest
Handcuffed, shoved into waiting squad car
Was ******-cussed at my treatment so far

"I want your badge number", I threatened the cop
Ill sue for false arrest, and no I won't stop
Assault and battery on who, on Tim?
Refused to put out cig, didn't touch him

Got booked, printed and a soggy sack lunch
Wore old lady ******, rode up in a bunch
In population still in cast with black eye
The word spread around that I battered a guy

I crutched my way across shiny jail floor
Eyes following me as if to implore
Came up on a woman, looked like a ****
Then she asked, "**** girl what's he look like?"

Got released next day, had court appearance
Plead not guilty with no interference
Set date for jury trial of my peers
Never been in court in all of my years

With public defender at defendants table
Jury looked at me as if I were unable
To batter, assault a serious offense
I was so small, this did not make much sense

I bravely testified on my own behalf
Brought up Tims prior abuse, hid a laugh
OBJECTION YOUR HONOR, spouted DA
Too late, the jury heard what I had to say

They filed out to deliberation space
Came back in fifteen, looked Tim in the face
The judge read the verdict, not guilty at all I was a free woman and skipped down the hall

A congenial aura
elated trekking
Intoning treasured verse
attention beckoning
Diligence provided
continual checking

Confirming with gauges
complying with code
Merged flawlessly towards
turnpike- cautious mode
Along breezed a rig
with a copious load

Heedless of rush hour
he rumbled on by
Remained in his route
to switch didn't try
Hurled on the brakes
swerved- she let out a cry

The fish tail and slide
left black in its track
Furled over in excess
too dazed for fact
Copper tang on lips
beginning to act

Sinew taut
cerebral flailing
Knuckles clenched
composure failing
Ticker raging
pent up wailing

Red and blue strobes
redundant sound
Screeching and wrenching
the pros abound
Flame vaulting acrid scent
soot around

One outstretched mitt
cloudy hood right behind
Echoing directives
"you will be fine"
Such screaming
not even sure if it's mine

Hours? Minutes?
seconds ticking away
WHOOOMF!!!
explosion that seized it today
Claimed these lives
on the earth they did lay

What's happening?
ascending brilliant light
Are eyes sealed exposed
perceiving what's right?
Sense soaring heavenward
a tranquil flight

Radiance entices
no need to resist
While buoyant wafting
in a cool opaque mist
At last home free
beseeching those that I missed
Brushed against His Grace
her brows lightly been kissed

breathtaking brilliance
falls encompassing beauty
eyes downloading realm

When my anxiety is extreme I feel
That nothing around or inside me is real
I need to hide myself, to isolate
Feeling of dread and doom, can't seem to think straight

I curse myself for feeling this ****** up way
Live in unreality like a dream, or play
Fingers don't work, have a quiver of my lip
Nervous smile, not wanting this unchosen
script

Don't know what to do...sit, stand, pace or run
Don't want to be looked at, talked to by anyone
Sane, daily things take extra concentration
I try to do them with no coordination

Deprived of social skills, get tongue tied, can't speak
Building discomfort, terror panic will peak
Then it begins- palms sweat, heart rate rises
Worry about all, nothing, no surprises

No longer capable of eating, I'd choke
Get nauseous, the runs, to my body no joke In acute cases toes stiffen, my bones ache
Losing much control, damaged brain waves fake

Avoid going out to a bank or a store
Anywhere there's cameras, prying some more
Always makes me feel like I'm doing wrong
Paranoia, bottom line..I don't belong

Guardians sow seeds, some few
While they influence and mold
Rain- love wisdom and view
The bud begins to unfold

Anchored firmly in the ground

Small brain sponges up the dew
Retaining complex hold
Directions to aspire to
The blossoming to behold

Sweetened tad above the mound

Teenage thorns, the stem comes thru
Refusing to be controlled
In full bloom, defiant hue
Crippled petals start to fold

Yielding blossoms can't be found

With age, time....the plant will renew
Reblooming with praise untold
Soaking in lights grace on cue
The legends of thorns retold

Sower and seed forever bound

A fat cat chased a tiny mouse
The mouse ran in his little house
House was a small hole in the wall
Waiting **** curled up in a ball

The sly Tom took a one eyed nap
The wise mouse avoided the trap
Soon the chubby cat fell asleep
Sneaky mouse gazed out for a peep

The rodent smelled the cheese on the floor
It was right by the kitchen door
The mouse dared come out one step
Nose sniffing the air, full of pep

Stepping lightly two, three, four
He readied himself to run for more
The mouse dashed, fast as he could go
The plump cat looked around, didn't know

The mouse got ahold of the crumb
Cat snoring again, what a ***
He tip toed around the big cat
And made it back home just like that

The loss hopelessness numbness great fear and pain
Cycle spins on to self abuse
The dire inner turmoil struggling to stay sane
Same attitude reactions confuse
Frustration irritation as fact remain
Duplicate thoughts destined to lose

If patterns in thinking unlikely to change
Reel round and round without much hope
Face this suspicion begin to rearrange
Release the disease ditch the rope
Erasing self hatred may at first be strange
Initiate to learn and cope

When under and used up good overcomes bad
Pros and cons you will find your way
Behind is past not dwelling on what you had
Future holds you are here to stay
The present is just that no matter how sad
Learned behavior... Live day to day

Icicle grips above
Dew condensing down gently
Chrystaline tear drop



Hummingbirds swift wings
Relishing nectar in flight
A blink and it's gone



A breeze lifts it loose
The frond spirals to earth
Crunching underfoot



Spins her web tidy
Plus hour glass she's mighty
Steer clear this spidy

If you leave me ill truly be through
I'm teetering on the edge it's true
I have suffered great loss, as of late
Can't survive more torture or hate

I have hurt you beyond any repaIr
Deceit, half truths, you feel I don't care
Honesty is important to you
I was scared and knew not what to do

Please don't go with an untrusting soul
I would be lost in this world with no role
I've never trusted a man until you
It's breaking my shattered heart in two

You are such a kind, fair, loving man
Treat me like gold whenever you can
I always come first, when its tough on you
I don't treat you the same, I see that too

You think I'm using you, a free ride
So far from the truth, I need you to guide
Until you, I haven't loved a man
Abuse thwarted me, I don't know if I can

Talk about baggage I own it in scores
Don't give up now, salt in open sores
Give me a chance to absorb your love
Ill open my heart and trust God above

hot relenting days
transforms cooler evening
fronds alteration


sleepy rising sun
chill cloudless breeziness
leaflet spirals down


quiescent fridgedness
bare armed branch depleted
foliage beneath flakes

Black widow spider spins web
Emanating silk strands
Grand plan in tiny head
Starts working at nightfall
The morning sun reflects
glory of her creation

Guardians sow seeds, some few
While they influence and mold
Rain- love wisdom and view
The bud begins to unfold

Anchored firmly in the ground

Small brain sponges up the dew
Retaining complex hold
Directions to aspire to
The blossoming to behold

Sweetened tad above the mound

Teenage thorns, the stem comes thru
Refusing to be controlled
In full bloom, defiant hue
Crippled petals start to fold

Yielding blossoms can't be found

With age, time....the plant will renew
Reblooming with praise untold
Soaking in lights grace on cue
The legends of thorns retold

Sower and seed forever bound

What if the sky wasn't blue?
The ocean woulnt be reflecting true
What if brand new cars could fly?
We would have stoplights in the sky
What if our dogs did not bark?
It'd be a lot quieter in the dark

What if water was light green?
It would not seem so very clean
What if little boys were girls?
Why they would have long pretty curls

What if little girls were boys?
They would have trucks, Batman ,and muscle toys
What if cash grew on a tree?
Then everything in the world would be free
What if flaming fire was cold?
Then a lit charcoal briquet you could hold
What if , I ask what if once more?
I will always have an answer in store
What's your what if?

Glancing in glass, monster appears
Hidden was she for many years
My face distorts, double mirrors
Long lived self control, burried fears

Dealing with this all alone

Luscious burning ***** sliding down
Warmed thoughts and gut without a sound
The judging makes me tremble round
Numbness prevailed,wanted to be drowned

Where is family, my home

Remember this like yesterday
Cascading my life to decay
Withhold inclination this day
Keeping mirror-monster at bay

Practiced abstaining finely honed

See her bright smile in the morning light
Make breakfast and small talk
Laugh with her at the silliest things
Much happiness it brings

To give her a bath and watch her swim
Get out all fresh and clean
Combing her hair styled in a braid
Cutest girl God ever made

Hold her and cuddle the feeling true
Share pictures on my phone
Just taking her little hand in mine
The world just seemed so fine

Baking cookies with a lot of help
She'll even fold the clothes
Watching Walt Disney while laying down
Real happiness I'd found

Then she quickly was gone from my life
Just went without a trace
Deep love and trust in her eyes of brown
Right now nowhere around

No more gazing as she soundly sleeps
No angel with sweet breath
On her abandoned coat the tears I've shed
Inside I now feel dead

I'm missing drying her heart felt tears
I miss her more each day
The smell of her I do love to inhale
Her pillow just smells stale

My angel is gone with others now
She is so far away
Cannot see her sleepy smile at night
I will pray til mornings light

A grandmas patience for three long years
No help from loved ones brought many fears
Kids happiness and well being, all mine
Unconditional love, caring and time

Hugs, fun, play and loving eachother
Working hard as father and mother
So many families in this sad trend
Addiction, neglect....the child can't fend

Made impossible decision to adopt
My age, mental illness....I had to stop
Heart break and tears through the long process
Patience with workers, under such stress
Took four long months to live with myself
Guilt, rage, hatred...counseling to help

Found a perfect family for the kids
A great mother and dad plus two new sibs
The transition was excruciating
Watching my angels change, while relating

After a short time, they made the move
Patience with grieving, never knowing what mood
The children are with the new family now
It's been five months, I've survived it somehow
Skype, drawings, video...pictures galore
My daily waiting, they're not mine anymore

hot relenting days
transforms cooler evening
fronds alteration


sleepy rising sun
chill cloudless breeziness
leaflet spirals down


quiescent fridgedness
bare armed branch depleted
foliage beneath flakes