Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Ben Dec 2011
one misses
                     &
one cannot
know

the true

(inner) beauty

of an individual (portrait. masterpiece.)

if one

colors over

that artist's painted canvas (life)

with their own

(expectations) brushes
(experiences) markers



**especially if they draw with sharpies
Ben Jun 2012
There will never be a ******* the beach
For a guy like me, to absorbed in self doubt
To truly live a life filled with adventure
Yet I sit here and smoke another cigarette
In the hopes that it will somehow change my future
Yet the spirals of smoke mean nothing to eyes
That cannot decipher the future in tea leaves
I am powerless to change this slump that I reside in
A king of a decaying kingdom
A knight with no armor
Pierce my lungs my heart my eyes my soul
And let me bleed to peace in death
I eat unicorns
Ben Dec 2011
a poet cannot just die in his sleep or of old age
those are deaths best left to the unimaginative
a poet instead will find his end with the
tragic with the lost
with those who wish to die air
a flair for the dramatic
drowning in a pool of thought
or facing fears at the end of a barrel
or writing with a shard of mirror, reflection of my heart
stories that never heal
on a permanent canvas
an indefinite reminder
woven through ]out a web of veins, vines twisting with life
Ben Dec 2011
loneliness is only a curse of the living
together we all dance to deaths slow song
hands forever held, eyes sewn shut
icy lips locked, sharing no feeling
together we dance, together we fall
Ben Dec 2011
it's dark here
colder than i thought possible
where are the
angelic voices
the fires of hell
is there truly nothing?
apathy
true torment
knowing that in the end
there's not even
anything left to care
we die together, but awake alone
and alone we shall be
for eternity
not a single night
but...
Ben Mar 2012
self-righteous souls
saved from the
everyday run
of the world
skulking throughout
the shadows
cast by the
most holy
fallacy
grasping at
the lost the
unknowing and
the ******
who don't accept
their beliefs as
irrefutable excuses
to be pretentious  
oh how far you will fall when brought                                               low from your exalted pedestal
down on your knees, covered                                                   in the wretched filth of the masses
that you had gazed down upon                                                       in all you hypocritical glory
everyone looks the same when                                                      your eyes have been gouged out
you bleed the same as everyone                                                  when your too-godly heart is removed
you liar, you snake,
you backstabbing ****,
hidden behind
accepting smiles
go forth and
be righteous!
go forth and
beat down the weak!
go forth and fill
the world with
your treacherous,
blasphemous rage!
pray for the
strength to fell
the wicked
non-believers
pray to keep
a closed mind
and to be
unwavering
in your silent
hate, mistrust, and
suspicion of all those
different from you
pray to keep your teeth sharp
to devour those deemed less holy than thou
and go to a fitful, dreamless sleep at night
confident in the knowledge that you are *saved
so i wrote this at church today, sitting there and looking around at all the *holy* people and feeling utterly disillusioned with all the backstabbing and false smiles, all the self-righteous feelings of superiority, and i remembered why i stopped going
Ben Dec 2011
where do you go
                               to lose yourself
                                                           to shed your shell
and come out - scared - broken
to

    b
       l
         e
           e
              d

without a sound, shuffle, sigh...

are we all defective - twisted - lost?

where do you go to die?
Ben Dec 2013
the green fairy visits
if only for a night
to soothe this troubled mind
and take away the strife
the minty taste of spearmint
and peculiar taste of fennel
play of tongue and mind alike
in passing and in action
a quick spirit burn and
the blurry edge of truth
shine a light on my emotion
and pass a pass for you
Ben Dec 2011
Frost clings to green Grass
lies of love, a one night stand
gone at dawn's first light
Ben Nov 2011
this path i walk is a lonely one
pursued by the shadows in the valley of my past
the bonds of brotherhood go only so far
as to remind me of the reality of solitude
the road of life is paved with lost chances
and littered with the bodies of regret
my conscience overhead like a vulture
picking apart my mind while
my shadow self waits for my soul
my self confidence my drive my life
to shrivel and die blown away on the winds of time
the path of red roses i leave in my wake
leads to my bleeding heart as lovers
tears crimson in this negative world
roll like raindrops then stream down
my tattered wrists
am i broken
breathe
breathe
breathe
inhale (the room rushes in)
or was i just dreaming
(a view of my mine)
(from a subconscious state)
Ben Dec 2011
mechanical ticking
of maniacal minds
who grind their
rusty gears to dust

never stop stripping
their screws and their fittings
til their mental machines
break and bust

dripping and dripping
their oil is leaking
out ear holes and eye holes
malicious malignant pus
Ben Jan 2012
the mirror, once a pristine silver surface
useful for the lucid view of ones own soul
in the years since passed since first unveiled
has become tarnished with the rust of others negative thoughts
has become cracked and broken with perceived fatal flaws
has been knocked over, thrown about the room
pushed through walls, stomped to the ground in fits of self hate
colored black with the slow snaking ink of depression
the mirror, once a beautiful thing to behold
showing the true form of ones character
reflecting the gorgeous image of oneself (inside and out)
now has been reduced to an ugly evil device
tormenting all who gaze upon it and see themselves
writhing, squirming, twisted and grotesque a truly wretched form
for it no longer shows oneself as one knows thyself to be
but instead reflects the views of the outsiders, people known only to see
flaws, to be jealous, to hate, to want to destroy any beauty or thought
of self worth, confidence, those who hate themselves.

so a word from one whose mirror is broken
who does not know if he can mend and repair
~ you are beautiful
~ you are unique
~ you are special
~ you are loved
you are how you view yourself - so protect your mirror
Ben Mar 2014
how foolishly we wasted those highschool nights with unspoken words and unbroken rules
pinning away for a once missed kiss on lips of best friends without a chance
how naive to think we'd have forever without a sunrise that the stars would never set on this dream
that smoke filled lungs would never burn and there would always be a better tomorrow
we wished to grow old not realizing that we'd want to grow young and never leave those carefree nights now found only in the whisper of the wind and the nostalgia in our hearts
when did I stop living in a dream
Ben Mar 2012
a trip through the river of time
swimming against the inexorable current
impossible except in the realm of memories
transcending the physical boundaries
that keep us anchored to this world
i am free when i can float above you
but i will never be able to change
those decisions that were made, the choices
that could have been, or were never there
i can only look on with regret at those days
that i failed to live, on those days wasted
i will never be 16 again, i will never kiss you
i will never go to that concert, i will never see
as clearly as i do now what i took for granted...
...memories - a fond reminder of the past
...memories - a shard of glass in my heart
...memories - will you ever let me sleep?
Ben Feb 2012
+++++
+    ?    +
+++++++
++++
++++
++++
++++
blood,
   ink,-----+-----quill,
knife,
which one draws lines
while the other takes life
++++++++++
++++++++++
++++++++++
+++++++++
++++++++
++++++++­
++++++++
++++++++
++++++++
+++++++
+++++++
+++++++
+++++++
+++++­+
++++++
++++++
++++++
++++++
+++++
+++++
+++++
++++
+++
++
?
Ben Jun 2014
with flagging strength and weary conscience  
I struggle against these demons in this heavy heart
trying to keep this darkness at bay till a dawn
I'm not sure is coming
Ben Nov 2011
the inky black ocean watches, silent, as judgement day's unfurled
unaffected by the passing of time, by the anarchy below
in silk soft silence, chaotic is the death of the civilized world

the once calm waters of the void, now are swirled
smothering the fires of armageddon with its inexorable flow
the inky black ocean watches, silent, as judgement day's unfurled

silver pinpricks of light, into the infinite waters, are hurled
and liquid orange pigment leaks forth, ever so slow
in silk soft silence, chaotic is the death of the civilized world

around this blue and green marble, the vast water is curled
undisturbed by the hate and rage humans show
the inky black ocean watches, silent, as judgement day's unfurled

news of paradise's destruction throughout the heavens whirled
obliteration of one another the human race did bestow
in silk soft silence, chaotic is the death of the civilized world

the vast expanse of the ink black ocean is purled
as the earth was torn asunder with its final death blow
the inky black ocean watches, silent, as judgement day's unfurled
in silk soft silence, chaotic is the death of the civilized world
Ben Jan 2014
it only takes a cold winter night
to remind me of the lost warmth
between two encompassing arms
a comforting circle of nostalgia
that only exists in memory and motion
sweet soft lips ghost memory of this
spent an eternal life seeking moonlight
to spend soft silver silk caressing the
heart of another soul; betray by kiss
and let me know by the swaying of
your hips that you found another lover
in the midst of all this mist
Ben Nov 2012
resonate
two minds in sync
two hearts beat
accelerando
love
Ben Nov 2011
twisted bodies turning
grotesque gyrations
in the dark places
where shedding your skin
and drinking blood
is common place
as those dark thoughts
creeping out of cracks
in your desolate mind
hear the dead drums beating
in time to your
broken ****** heart
welcome rotting arms
that grab and grasp
welcoming you in
welcome to the skeleton dance

a masquerade of bone and flesh
words like daggers in this vest
a blood red rose in midnight hair
ruby jewels left on these lips
brushed 'gainst mine fore dawns first kiss
bring end to nights horrid affair
Ben Apr 2012
bored senseless?
                               i think so.
cigarette's done,

                                 my arm...
      ashtray!!
Ben Nov 2011
a raven's cry haunts the
Stanford Bridge, a warriors life
tribute to Odin
Ben Nov 2011
empty the feeling i get
when i think about your
untold secret(s)
be there for her
says my head my heart
yet help you dont need
or so you say
"ill go at it alone
deal with it myself"
self courageous strong to the 
end
product of pain loss care
unrequited love love that
could eclipse a thousand
suns
how can you burn so bright
feel so strong take what
you do hear see and keep
going on
it amazes me awes me to
the point of not knowing what 
to say except i want to be
there i want to help you hold you and
i feel empty because i know i
cant you need to deal with
these demons alone i can
hear you now "now worries no worries"
yet ill worry in secret in my mind
my heart my soul though i say "ok"
cause even if you never told me anything
id worry for you about you with you
cause of my own unrequited love
Ben Nov 2011
Tick Tock Tick Tock

The second hand passes

And fire creeps forward

Tick Tock Tick Tock

Flames eating the

Seconds minutes hours

Tick Tock Tick Tock

Nothing but ash

In the Past, Path of the fire

Tick Tock Tick Tock

No one escapes Time

The fire in which we all Burn



Drip Drop Drip Drop

The sharp rain is falling

And crystal frost forming

Drip Drop Drip Drop

Spreading and freezing

Life breath Death

Drip Drop Drip Drop

Nothing but chill

White blue glass, creeping mist

Drip Drop Drip Drop

No one escapes Time

The cold mist in which we lose our mind



Silence

The darkness is coming

And coming quite slowly

Silence

Flowing and twisting

Around you me us

Silence

Nothing but Nothing

Black silk wrapping, feather soft

Silence

No one escapes Time

The final night which we all face alone


Time is the fire in which we burn

Time is the mist in which we are lost

Time is the Night in which we disappear

Time is coming and

Going and

Gone
Ben Dec 2011
i'm wrapped in strings and
your'e the one whose tying knots
i'm taking shots and
you're this must see ******* the spot
hungover at three and i'm at my best,
kicking and screaming - your'e a hot mess
wake up wake up it's all going down now
get out get out i can't stand this place now
go on go on there's no holding back now
i'm the one whose leaving and you can't even call my name
my vision's blurry and i can't walk straight,
your'e wrecking hearts, burning bridges, playing fate
and i'm smoking three packs everyday,
you're the one who made me this way
you and me aren't meant to be and
now this song is going out of key
look at all these times we shared
i'm seeing double and it's almost as good as being there
Ben Dec 2011
the spiraling smoke flows past
your tongue and caresses your lips
floating up on warm breath
to temporarily obscure emerald eyes
then twists and turns to form a halo
round your bright blonde hair
Ben Sep 2014
it's during that awful time of semi-consciousness
while my mind is still riding that razor line
between this world and the one in my mind
where my soul lays bare to unflinching introspection
that my stomach clenches into a knot tied tight
my heart races then stops while lungs struggle for air
and every mistake i continue to make drags
their wretched ******* fingernails across my eyes
i recoil from my self sick of the battered skin i'm in
fighting the urge to choke on false hope and failing
while sickly sweet desperate promises for change
spill from my mouth like ***** past my cracked lips
and i know i'm still alive because i'm not dead yet
my own worst enemy
Ben Dec 2011
understand thy sea*!


there great men saw die
times voice,
makes close feet
stand best,
stay,

touch, felt, truth told
this poem was constructed using each of words once from one of the top words list hello poetry generates on its Browse page
Ben May 2012
i know you're in his arms
breath on your neck
a gentle kiss
and the thought of it's
wrecking me

as you look into his eyes
was it worth the sweat
my unrequited paramour
i mean it in the dearest way

i've never felt our bodies touch
yet my mind can trace your curves
from lips to hips then hips to lips
a sideline show - waiting
alone on the dance floor

for the glance that once came my way
a moment wasted
an opportunity slipped
from my fingertips
into his open arms

courage my empty angel
id take you used
tattered and torn
and make you mine

let's make something beautiful
only to watch it burn
****
         and
                 forget  
one night, we were one
in the not so distant future
a second chance to make it true
Ben Jan 2012
a hollow glass heart
filled with the blood
of all your past loves
beats with the sound
of crystal breaking
fragile to view
yet harder than diamonds
deceiving - danger where
beauty is known to
haunt my soul
red turned to the darkest
black, a whirlpool inescapable
by all who have fallen under
your spell, none leave
unscathed, most leave
broken and empty
shells of humanity
flirting with you
akin to placing my
mind in the jaws of a jackal
razor teeth hidden behind
luscious, soft, lips
Ben Dec 2012
drinking in the shower causes conflicting emotions
hot and cold mix but don't form lukewarm
instead they swirl and dance mingle and twist
with heat in my head and frost in my throat
i take another sip and wince then grin
as opposite sensations pull me apart
in the most pleasant way
Ben Dec 2011
the moment between.

                                        sunset.

                                       nightfall.                                      

                                                       when all cats are grey.
Ben Sep 2013
i woke up this morning
locked myself in the bathroom
with whiskey beer and netflix
a hot steam shower and
aching thoughts for a cigarette

they said be strong you'll make it in time
but all i see is a negative sum numbers game
ad infinitum forevermore on & on & on
another day another nicked nickel through my fingers

so instead of being a "productive" member of society
i'm drunk at 8:00 am and wallowing in self pity
but hey the shows are free
but this shower's gunna cost me
Ben Nov 2015
silence
three quarters up
an excuse to leave behind
what i felt is worth
leaving this silence to forget itself
to forget that i ever
once wanted a smooth path
bricks lain out to find patterns
in the cracks
Ben Mar 2014
dreaming for her wild
curvy moonlight flesh, hellbent
his touches consume

water rides across her lips
eyes obey dripping but dead
Ben Nov 2011
So this is what it’s like to face the unknown
The ground fast approaching as we fall
Wingless angels seeking paradise
In the sweet release of these earthly bonds
No, not the end, merely a new adventure
Hands, heads, held high in defiance
We chose how to live
We will choose how to die
Free till we pass from one world
Together into the next we go
The air is clear up here
The sun reflects a thousand diamonds
How time seems to slow
Every detail, the world a painting below
Breathtaking we’re breathless
As the ground fast approa---
Ben Feb 2012
not a moment in the present
but an infinite span in the past
flowing like a river about you
the ribbon of time twisting in
soft silken strands, a combination of colors
the brush ever so lightly against
you're upturned enraptured face
eyes so bright, filled with silver stars
as fine filaments of hair float
on a nonexistent breeze blowing
to dance and twirl about your head
an ever-moving halo.

"wonder at all the mysteries of life, my love
for in the future even time itself must perish
lose yourself in the beauty of your being
and all the world shall tremble and stop
to gaze upon one who is truly free"


curiosity kills naught but ignorance
Ben Sep 2014
a slow death we've wished upon ourselves
Ben Mar 2013
two           pink          pills         float        me
head               above                 the                    endless                        clouds
i         sink               in           the        sky
Ben Aug 2014
shut down/falling through
the best laid plans of
prophets and poets
bear bitter black fruits
rotten from the core
to shining silver lining;
while the few remaining consequences
mean little to those without a conscience
consequently causing catastrophic
casualties of casual causality.

facking cahnts
Ben Jul 2013
her smooth violet lips
mouthing honestly for peace.
sweet eyes thunder war
Ben Dec 2011
the Door
                     is
a lie

one we
               accept
as readily
                   as
the inability to climb
through
               any window
we choose

privacy is

mind
        over
matter
                      not
                                 matter
                   blocking
                                 mind

thoughts, not privy to peeking eyes
bodies, in full view of an
                                                                                        entranced
                                                                                        unknown
                                                                                        audience
Ben Feb 2012
as i sit here awake
waiting for some comfort
only received by those
who venture into the
depths that the night offers
delusions of peace
and visions of grace
cloud my weary mind
yet do nothing to ease
my troubled heart
is there any truth
to be had from my restless vigil?
i - a sentinel of the moon
i - a watcher of the shadows
i - an eloquent fool
am driven to seek
a respite from the waking world
by staying the hand of
the sandman in hopes that
these mountainous mole hills
may shrink under my gaze
futile? it may be so
yet dreams that may keep my company
scare me more than any
insomnia induced hallucination
Ben Nov 2013
three showers deep and I still can't sleep
the time of my life Molly and Ice
I'm having second thoughts
I may have a bit of an indiscriminate drug use problem
edit: self destructive attention *****
Ben Sep 2014
a soft grey blanket flows through the peaks of green pines
silencing the celestial voice of the moon
while steel horses restlessly paw, panting gas fumes
the volleyball desert, at first glance barren
reveals a complex terrain of mountains and cigarettes
to the watchful eagle's eye
a wooden temple towers, built on artificial ground
cool stone poured into aesthetically pleasing islands
a forty square foot-print
a holy site of human ingenuity
with offerings from the clans of Miller and Busch
lying scattered like bones on the monolithic plain
anbaric lamps imitating miniature stars cast shadows at night
and the once vibrant world takes on unifying hues of blue
I guess the old adage that
"misery loves company"
is indiscriminate of nature
Ben Jun 2013
peel my flesh and crack my ribs
excavate my chest cavity two fists deep
a ******* futile exercise grasping for nothing
my much neglected heart has withered
shriveled turned to dust on its aortic vine
intimacy, love, a human connection
a half remembered dream it's fleeting
hold me close cause all I feel are ghosts
Ben Jan 2012
flesh, blood, bone, muscle
chemicals, emotions, thought.
seven word human?
Ben Oct 2012
self-inflicted incompetence
brought on by a life
of misunderstanding, misuse
sabotaged by my own mind
with this unsettling gut feeling
will i ever be good enough
or will i be discarded
as a broken unsatisfying machine
tell me the truth
that will cut to the core
for deceptive sentiments
cause self doubt to boil
beneath my skin
am i not a man
or fated to be relegated
to boyhood status
unable to quench the most
basic natural demands
a failure at heart
a selfish lover
eating away at my conscious soul

i know you love me
im just paranoid as all hell
we're only human
Ben Nov 2011
i wonder if its bad to hate that im to grounded
that  i cant burn like fire
that i cant hurt myself
that i cant love like i used to
on the outside im fine
on the inside im cold and hard as ice
waiting for fire to burn through
and when i melt will there
be anything left of me?
or will i disappear into
the ether? why cant i 
feel?
is it bad that i
want to hurt myself
want to flip
want *** with no strings attached
want to burn out my lungs with a cigarette
want to take a shot and drown out my memories
want to do it all and hate myself because 
i cant
wont
im too grounded
i feel equally guilty and self hate
guilty because so many need my grounding, should have my grounding
self hate because i want to be just like them
but i cant do
it i dont
have the
courage
the ability to just let go and lose my mind, my barriers
i hate how i stop myself
i hate how i cant follow through
i hate myself for all the wrong reasons
Ben Sep 2012
my vices are devices
through which ideas flow from my mind
as readily as ink flows to my skin

they allow me to express
the beauty of sitting still for an hour
with nothing on your mind

while these cigarettes
burn through a year to my life
and the courage that flows through my veins  
is supplied by my local thought dealer

a key to my mind
its seems that i an unable to write
what i think what i feel
without this passage of time
in which i may not have
full control of my mind

but what is a few years of my life
to sacrifice
if i can show how its meant to be alive

and i can live and love and laugh
as much as the next person does

but i must cut a bit deeper than the knife
in the gloved hand of fate
that denies me this wish

this wish to be free of what you call bliss

i write so i am
i think just because
but these words do not flow
without some from some cause
alcohol?
cigarettes?
***?  
drugs?
love?
any of the above?
Next page