fragile shell how can you hold me
how can you keep my wings under wraps
when my spirit so wishes to soar free

bound by gravity to this wretched place
i seek nothing more than to loose these bonds
and transcend time and space

the ice flow north wind
the pristine moon reflected
silent white sharp stark

if it wasn't
                   so
                       cold
                                 out
i wouldn't have a problem walking anywhere
just
to
get
                                 out

the winter sun blows
a frigid december light
the dawn like cold night

witty witticisms
profoundly profound
flung
        from
               fools
guarantee gibbering garbage

but what do you do when
this machine made world you live in
rusts and breaks and comes apart
into a thousand blood red screws and gears
slowly spinning to a stop with a
half hearted sigh
no more the will to crank and turn
the dynamo that orbits these steel caged
heavens
glowing white blaze hot in the fire
of this unforgiving sun
the pavement is cracked and uneven
the weeds look grey to the world weary
eyes
ashes to ashes dust to dust we
all fall down as the plague doctor
takes off his mask to dark pits of despair
the blackness burns! with a cold heat
where run these feral dogs when this
intricate contraption ceases to power
these city streets
all i taste is soot
my hands are numb
the sky weeps hot flakes of my soul

coy verbal foreplay
tastefully twisting two tongues
risque rhythm ...                          breathe

i carry the weight of the world on my shoulders
willing or not, a part of my subconscious makeup
a disposition to take their troubles and yours as well
i live with a thousand guilty minds and mine own
yet i do not add my burdens to the load
i live with my demons caged inside
for how can you be there for the greater good
with any weakness showing of your own?
lend me no ear, my problems i will not share
that would defeat my impossible goal
to free the world of earthly cares and sorrows
a self made martyr who wants no acknowledgment
no word of thanks, thats what friends are for
but i am cracking inside
to a million shattered fragments
held together out of a sense of duty
only as strong as my own convictions
a plea for help almost escapes
these lips sewn shut
only to be swallowed and lost
                                                       in
                                                               the
                                                                                farthest

                                                                                                              reaches
  

                                                                                                                                          of



                                                                                                                                                                     my







                                                                                                                                                                          mind.

writing down on paper
thoughts i can't say aloud
can't think aloud i don't
have control over my mind
my pencil, i don't know what
words are going to come out
a labyrinth, a maze through
the darkness of my mind
what emotions am i
feeling i don't know
anger sad hate love
anxiety lost empty
hopeful depressed bastardized
so so lost confused and
urge to write and urge to
feel, i want to get it
out, a thorn, 12 inches in
my heart, how is it beating
how am i going how do 
i live like this, transitions
change, people spiraling out
of control and i don't know
what to do, helpless
this is just the beginning
and my hand can't write
fast enough...

i am abrasive
personality functionality deficit
yet i attract
beautiful women
to befriend the hermit of solidarity
will you go out with me
brought answers on no
my friend i could not lose
yet for the end of altruistic bargaining
i end up ahead
with false promises of a beginning
to an end my own personal
apocalypse
david lee roth would understand
that as i write in this
mindset
brought on by reading
778 comics in 12 hours
and a 4 day binge of  job for a cowboy
my mind wanders
as insomnia sets in
would i be one of the great
dissociative poets?
a dose of the unrequited free associative minds
free thinking form of diet coke with a side of purple strawberries no i meant blueberries
my mind wanders
and yet i look forward to pad thai on wednesdays with cute blondes whom with i stand
the chance of a bat in the mosh pits of a metal band
suckers
i win
for you all know the taste of yellow mustard
ramble ramble ramble
this indie pop poem
would it be ironic to like it
if one truly hates the wording
and yet loves the idea
one of lives greatest life mysteries
alcohol i bid thee a fair welcome
nimble bubblegum monkey wrench
how long will you read?
enough to to see my lack of coherent sentence structure
or that i am a flawed creation
going on and on about existential non existent problems
for i shall exist regardless of my best intentions
as the wheel continues to roll on despite the moss covering this ice slicked track
metal boar slayer of a thousand suns would be a good metal name from sweden
the mooring dove coos to the beat of an undead drum
boo hoo boo hoo cries the witch at the stake
i am done

my vices are devices to make myself stop
thinking of every which way life can go wrong
not to get ****** up funny it seems but to
try and live a happier life a better mind yet
at the rate I'm going it won't matter that I
don't remember my Saturday nights because
I'll be done by Sunday and my fears will be
put to bed

i am selfish, self-pitying, jaded, ever seeking for some new meaning
tell me that you aren't too and i'll call you a liar with my eyes
because my mouth would never speak out against the truth of this world
that we all live for ourselves in the depths of our minds, in the labyrinth
with walls made out of sharp feelings and rusting emotions burning

i am at home in these depths, these dismal depths of self-feeling
of knowing through hours of introspective meditation that i will never be enough
but neither will you, neither will you my darling, it just has yet to reach
catastrophic proportions of this living tragedy to see that this sea of life
will only take, will only wash away