I've been feeling like I'm home alone,
but there are these projections of memories
that are haunting me like ghosts.

It hurts to know that someone might love you,
but there's nothing you can do to make them admit it,
and while you wait you grow more and more apathetic.

I'm not trying to tell the future,
but there's always room for me to try and read your mind,
even if you're afraid to understand how you feel.

If I kept screaming in your face you might listen,
but there are too many things I need to translate for you,
and I'm tired of being somewhere that no one wants me.

Once upon a time I knew who I was and kind of what I wanted, or rather expected from life.  I was sure I knew who I was.  I had a plan, general ideas on a tentative time-line.  This comes before that, and so on.  I got swept away in the rapids of others.  Tossed around and wrung out.  

Swept away
White water, no raft
Lonely ride

Left in the gutter, I found my way home; vacant-eyed and sullen, Jaded and confused beyond the realm of humanity, but home.  What had I done to attract such things?  Why was it okay to be garbage to others?  Abused and unwanted, still far from myself.  Plastic bubble gum smiles, no one asks and I don’t tell.  Made it home, scathed and broken.  Thinking the me I knew couldn’t possibly have done that.  So, was I ever who I thought I was?

**Beautiful masks worn
Thin veneer of porcelain
Hides maceration

Pictures of the past year
Slowly flood my mind
Pictures of the memories
Of things we left behind.
I've learned so much through growing up
That I didn't know before
I've learned that love can hurt you
But leave you coming back for more.
I've learned that you'll lose people
You thought you'd always know
And sometimes you should hide your feelings
Instead of letting them show.
If you don't expect things
You never get let down
I've learned that you can scream inside
Without making a sound.
I've learned pictures don't replace memories
You'll still wish you were there
And the one who said they always would
May suddenly just not care.
Among all of the bad things
I've learned that there's good too
And at every story's end
Is the start of something new.
So here's to all our yesterdays
And whatever tomorrow brings
Here's to all you've done for me
For giving me my wings.
You've changed my life in countless ways
You taught me how to fly
Now I'll do something for you
I'll turn and say goodbye.
I wish you luck in finding
Everything you're looking for
You're the strongest person I've ever met
My friend, my love and so much more.
I was blessed to have you in my life
Even if only for a while
Promise me that no matter what
You're always going to smile.
Know no matter what you do
You're always in my heart
That I'm only a phone call away
No matter how far we are apart.
Maybe someday we'll find each other
And start this love again
If not know I'll always love you
No matter how this ends.
Now it's time for us to smile
There's no reason to be sad
I'll always be grateful for you
You were the best I ever had.

I am stalking silence
Shadowing it but
Remaining ever at a distance
Every once in a while
My silhouette falls upon it
But it eludes me always

I can remain in silence
In the hopes it’ll seek the company
And every once in a while
It’ll grace me with its presence
Unbroken until
Some Samaritan decides
I need saving from its grasp
But I seek comfort in it
I revel in it
Not brooding
Sweet solitude
Sweet silence

Aging face with boyish charm,
broad shoulders to care-free arms,
manly nave to dancers hip,
soldier's legs to a child's skip.

heavy heart through lightened words,
booming voice to deafen hurt,
eyes to sparkle wit with play,
soul set stone in subtle sway.

A seer of all to be seen,
a prodigy for stage and screen,
A star in his very own trend,
A Coatman, a true best friend.

Some coffee is bold,
some have no *****,
some coffee can cause you to bounce off the walls.
But, of all the best coffee there can be but one,
is the coffee you have when you haven't got one!