There are pieces of me left behind on your floor
Where my heart still has eyes like a fly on the wall (or flowers)
Mesmerize me with the hair you're always hiding
Under product, colors, straight lines. Nature beats all.
The grace of a new being to enjoy wholly is like ice water in veins
A chilling, dark realization that I can never forget your name.
You've slammed into me like you were playing with planes
And yet the distance between us never seems to change.

To float in the deep end, frozen like the taste of salt
To glide across your tongue and change the symphony of sound
And heartache within you, to be swallowed by you
To rip to pieces the travesties inside you, would have me new.
Somehow I knew when our eyes first met, there was death
Of whoever I used to emulate, so for a time I was breathless
Chest heaving in exasperation to try and find the courage
To explain to you that the world can be easy if you let it.

This beach I lay before you can be glass or coals or clouds
It only matters how you step.
Don't think of fear, let it be known that I
Will always be a part of you.
Someone once told me there are millions in the world
With whom love can be shared.

Well I found one.

I stitch together broken promises and shattered stained glass
Melting the flavors into the conflagration of your laugh
And the oceans do scream your name during ***
And the clouds do cast themselves into darkness
So you can shine at the moon.

A whole galaxy stops for you. You are
Doves with undernurtured wings, aerosol paint spraying
Blue ribbons surrounding my headstone
You are right beside me in dreams, always I am itching to be closer
Subtly marking my inches and counting backwards from a billion
Hoping I hit zero with enough time left in my life
To see you on a rocking chair on my front porch
With a ring on your finger.

Sometimes, I feel like I could smile over at you when we're seventy.
And I could say "Hey you're coffee's getting cold."
And you would say "Fine, you can drink it."
And I gladly would get you more.

While meanwhile you shimmered in sunlight like the master of all rainbows
The queen of black rock, with dragon's blood, and eagle's cries
And I would walk inside and stare back out and hand you
All the pieces left of me from your garage floor,
Along with mended promises and unstained glass.

Love stained my soul
like
charcoal
But somehow you
Made it under my skin
I tried to dig you
Out of my veins
I bled out
But you stayed in

I should have told her bout the colors that I saw before.
The onces they fell out from my eyes
and spilt across the floor.

I should have told her when she asked me, dared me to explore
the reaching roots of time and sooth;
the seed, the growth, the spore.

There is fear in the allure.

The moon is on the rise;

no near for far, i'm sure

On this night,
my heart forgot to stop loving you.

With star dusted verse and milky way melody,
I sang to you a jasmine scented lullaby.
Through crescent waves of moonbeam,
I breathed my lavender love into your dream.

In the morning when you wake, will you feel me there,
as sunlight, streaming through your sleep damp hair?


Mine is the heart that forgot to stop loving you.
Yours, the heart that could not remember to begin.

I built for you
(another nightmare).

goodness,
is your heart still broken?

I consider your names from time to time
and fall under in wonder,
if the syllables were just an uttering-reach
for your attention,
or if they were failed attempts at catching
amusements-daze for your entertainment.
my sound waves wanted to cradle your letters,
to give you the alphabet in symphonies
harmonious with my admiration for you
and all I thought you stood for.

you flipped me on my stomach,
face down
trying to muffle the sound of my love,
what pain!
trying to force me not to love so loud.
I felt less than proud to
pull you out and leave you empty,
wishing, for once, not to be so untouched.

your passion for passing opportunities
to prove yourself worth the patience
was the only thing you held onto
when I opened my arms.
your touch no longer comfort,
more infectious and breathtaking
in a wind knocking your lungs down into your guts sort of way,
with all your broken promises jutting into my rib cage,
shredding the butterfly wings that used to arise that love-sick shutter
until I'm sick of love and left with blinds
that leave me to mutter about the darkness.

you were a creature of great wonder in the lack of light,
the shadows painting angels wings
sprouting from the backside of your heart
shooting through your spine,
your halo shining so bright that I lost my concentration,
I took a second look and lost my path
in a concentrated dose of your praise,
witnessed the sin seeping through your skin
as you sweat and soon there was nothing left
but the sound of your breath and the words
and the words and the words and the sickness
came creeping in like a crash.

your wings melt in the daylight
your teeth rot in your cheeks
halo crooked and eyes clamped tight
you sleep because you're too weak to speak
to another human being face to face
and from your face sprouted flowers made of meat
but the bees stung me when it was time to eat.

guilty by association.
guilty of procreation tendencies with absolutely no intention
of creating anything but distance from the wreckage.
broken hearts are broken bones
are breaking our breaking
we've broken apart and my heart
it has been shielded, restored into a beating,
living, loving organism.

for someone who wanted so badly to play the part of jesus,
you sure didn't pray enough, laugh enough or heal enough.
you didn't even try.

you were a wreck that I couldn't withstand,
a self-imposed torture,
because the thrill of losing everything
was too intoxicating to escape.

you were a right handed lover
and a left hand driver
with a ******* and not much else to say
with all that anger in your heart,
with all that hatred in your bones,
you will tear at your flesh to dig deeper
to try and understand something that's already been explained,
as all who once loved you will watch you rot away.

silver tongue city slicker
stay at home in your cabinet
don't come calling or knocking
it's too shocking: I'm thankful.

most positively,
I am free,
because without the wreck
there wouldn't have been anything to feel at all.

you hide them
under tattoos, sleeves, belligerence
as if i wouldn't see
them anyway
as if i wouldn't love
you anyway

let me be your sutures and i will
kiss your scars until they are healed

I am a mess of habits, scooped with shaking hands like rusted pennies.
I breathe more nicotine than I do oxygen.
I bite my nails like that is the only way I can keep from clawing my skin off my bones.
The liquor bottles under my bed far outnumber the books on my shelf.
I am constantly shrinking myself, making room for the people I place around me,
Like a computer program running in the background.
I am shaping myself like clay around the space of those I hold dear.
Making myself small and building up everyone else.
The smoking and the drinking may **** me young,
But not before I shrink myself so small, I disappear.

elegantly hitting enough
      at high speed sent
  time capsules of regret

through the subcontious dreams of
  heroes of long gone as they were
      elevated to familymembers

why... seemed appropriate to ask
                also easy to forget as the
lucky charm of childhood blues
                        lost its effect in *real time