what are you addicted to?
What you on?
Oxycoton?
Percoset?
Methadone?
Vicodin?
****?

Xanax
Diesel
Dope?

Krocodil?

or...
Just jack and ****

they tell me *** is dangerous...
I have nothing today
and so much things to say

Did your best friend get shot 72 times on
Thursday?

On the woodpile
or
In the passenger seat?
Wife take everything
And leave you
After 30 years?

You homeless now?
Or just broke-in.
Did Your wife die:
An intentional dose of an incidentally fatal
Dope?

Did you husband-
An engineer for Ford Motor company
Get burned alive?
black
Was it you
who
found the ashes?

Did they throw you in prison
For your depression?

You have addictions
And a little help
But no music-
Ipods
are not allowed here
and
You are grasping at existence but
existance
don't seem to know you
no-more

Your still breathing
Though
You haven't failed at existence itself
yet

Impulsive
destructive
What chemicals are they feeding you
In your cages?

T.T. has 17
medications but
she almost got killed last night
Because she's allergic
to aspirin.

Are they treating you with
Risperdal?
Or
Lamictal like me?
Is it helping-
or making it ten times worse?
making
any difference at all?

It's called practice and we are
the test-tube

Jon's heart has been in defib 8-times
twice due to accidental overdoses
by doctors

We can have too-many
anything.

I don't believe in accidents
though
no more.
seen-too many
felt-too much

You self-admitted and
at least your still breathing
this place is full of madness but here at 1-east
we're still dreaming.

pax 2013

know   god   hard   really   oh   used   heal   heart   look   stumble   substance   free   feel   soul   want   hell   broken   like   compassion   herbs   shy   shiny   peaceful   jim   cigarettes   beam   stumbled   peach   pressure   juice   apathy   jesus   sing   shades   innocent   lift   content   golden   vital   funny   aim   bob   listening   struggling   doubting   bars   humility   chairs   boulevard   coolest    oppressor    hellfire    oppressors    chaining    hom­elessness    macon   doesn't    he'll    satan's    hip-hop    icehouse    baybo    hy­ena-laugh-like    
pit--    thomas    pottery    churning    bus ­  boring    builds    unwilling    marley    insides    captors    ­slaves    element    severed    leaking    survived    *****   kentucky    brothels    karina    sitting    walk    people    wh­ite    hit    mind    help    blessed    night    
hurting    pra­y   courage    reminds    fearful    words    talk    song    self   ­ die    thoughts    notice    just    home    green    make    ge­ts   hands    world    speak    ******    red    fear    fears    stan­d    hearts    lonely    heals    stopped    throat    apple   person    awareness    breaking    black    trees    taught    
y­ellow    fallen    answers    spit    ***    dreads    
heads   gentle    far    pretty    knew    faded    spirit    minds    pr­ide    hurt    yes    feeling    knows    crushed    
tired   tomorrow    save

Can You help?
it's all I want to know.
i'm a doubting Thomas;
let me look at your ****** hands
and know you know how i'm feeling.
it's really lonely being myself
down here,
on Satan's boulevard
where I could stumble,
every night,
empty.
In the drunk-tank
I'm really struggling, god,
really hurting god,
you know
when you want to cry your heart out so hard
but you can't
and the blood-pressure builds
breaking mind
leaking fears
all down your throat
into your soul.

stumbled and fallen
can you save me?
i get no answers,
he knows i have them.

come to jesus,
just like that song we used to sing,
oh people be free
from all pain
all
hurt.

oh crushed,
he even heals the oppressors severed hearts,
and broken
he heal your faded spirit too.

pax 2013

Is it OK
To want to die
Like-all the time?
No, really...

Is it OK?
I don't want to live forever
If forever's like a life-
If forever's like me.