He reminds me of magic -
child's eyes; quick, wise, fearful eyes
swallowed by folds on folds of time
How old he looks
the man with the child in his eyes
"Take my strength, Grampa"
a squeeze
              he knows I'm here
and a river of
  love  strength  frustration
travels up
  down
my
  our
arms
like an electric current.
Some ghosts photographs leave smiles on my mind
hugs like big, warm, heavy blankets
safe in Grampa's arms
still a little girl
        if I could take off this **** mask I could make him smile
Sliding down a razor blade in slow motion
     A monster that eats you up from the inside
        is scarier
than any
        hiding under my bed
shakes
shivers

timbers fall
even the strongest of old oak trees

Leave Me Alone,
I Don't Want To Play,
My Eyes Are Hard As Stone,
Because There So Many Things I Want To Say....

Dear S1
You Can Say It's All My Fault,
Which It Mostly Is,
But I'm Not The Only One To Blame,
Why Do You Look At My Crying Face,
And Look Away,
Looking For The One Who Made My Tears,
Fall Across My Face,
To Take Them Home,
To Drive Away,
But Drop Her Off Again,
To See Me The Next Day,
I Know,
You Love Both More Than Anything In The World,
But Let Me Tell You,
She Is No Perfect Girl,
You Digest Her Lies So Fast,
It's Like You Haven't Eaten For Days,
Just All Of You Leave Me Alone,
And I'll Be On My Way...

Dear S2
You Are Foul,
Wicked,
Twisted,
Stop Popping Into My Brain,
Stop Lingering In My Thoughts,
You've Already Caused Me Enough Pain,
I Hate You,
Because You Hate Me,
I Know Hate Is Indecent,
But I'm Slowly Embracing It,
Because You,
Are The Definition Of Evil....
Stop Prancing In My Dreams,
Stop Tresspassing In My Soul,
I Am Still Really Broken,
I Hope You Know,
But All I'm Asking You,
Is To Leave Me Alone

Dear S3
I Love Your Initals,
That Should Be Your Name,
Because That's All You Ever Say,
Your Real Name Is Poison,
Which Sits Upon My Tounge,
Honestly You Make Me Feel Degraded...
You Make Me Feel Unwanted,
The Way You Can Manipulate People,
Is A Real Gift,
Congradulations,
Well You Still Have The Upper Hand,
I Really Hope Someday,
You Can Just Leave Me Alone

*Am I Really The Only Thing You Have To Talk About? Am I Really Worth All Your Time? Maybe I'm Over Reacting, But I'm Sick Of You And This Is Why... I Might Not Be Perfect, But Niether Are You, So Stop Acting Like It, Your Words Are Making Me Blue, At First I Didn't Really Care, But Now I Do, And This Is What I Want To Say, Leave Me Alone And ***** You

I was afraid time had taken me
Farther then allowed, I would
Be trapped in this hellish dream
                                                             Forever
Unable to call for help because
Only I am here , all on my own
Caged and trapped with only my
Thoughts to hold in my sanity I
                                                                  Was
Scared to reach out my hand and
Feel the damp stony walls, I was
Scared of the deafening silence
That had swallowed me, it was
Too overwhelming it had been
                                                                   Too
Quite, almost as if I was being
Drown in noise, filling my lungs
Pushing against my heart, and
Blocking my throat, chocking on
It, there was the slight sigh in
The breeze of the air, where the
                                                                 Long
Pause broke through my body,
I was disintegrating slowly
Stuck here forever alone, no
One there with me, just the
Killing silence, my thoughts
and dreams

My Breath Suspended In The Air,,
The Chilled Autumn Breeze Kisses My Cheeks,
Brushing Up Against My Body Like A House Cat,
These Are The Moments I Love,
Solitude In The Strawberry Sunrise,
One Little Star Telling Me Good Morning,
Where A Leaf Falling To The Ground,
Is A Loud As Gun Shot,
In Dawn's Silence,
I Prowl The Pavement,
Like A Purple Irirsed,
Black Panther,
Cloaked In A Cape Of Secrecy,
I Am An Enigma,
Which No One Can Understand,
But As The Goosebumps Rise Along My Spine,
From The Cold Biting At My Flesh,
I Know Someday,
Every Moment Will Be Mine,
I Don't Want Sunlight,
I Want Moonshine,
I Love My Solitude,
Underneath The Starlight

I Won't Let You Wreck My Future,
You Destroyed My Past,
I Wont Let You Torture Me,
I'm Done With You At Last,
I Was Ready To Get My Bags And Pack,
To Runaway And Never Come Back,
But Now I'm Switching Into My Mode Of Attack,
You Better Be Taken Aback,
You Brat,
I'm Finally Done,
Don't You Get It?
You Are Just Stuck Aren't You,
Stuck With My Mistakes,
Look In Front Of Your Face!
I'm Done,
Don't Try To Apologize,
I Will Never Forgive You

It sparked my interest
caught my eye
the glittering deception
of a living lie
frozen and captured
where the light shone far too bright
and blinded me
looking back, it was brief
everything I thought he wasn’t
has caused me so much grief

You are my moonlight
in the night sky
shining high and bright
loving me with so much might.

Your are my sunshine
in the sky above
burning to life
your heavenly love.

Whenever I feel scared
I close my eyes and take
a deep breath.
You are there to save me
no matter what happens next.

When all is blackened
and dark you stand by me,
Your arms embrace me
from the evil that embarks.

Whenever I feel sad
you tell me stories
that make me laugh,
You make all my tears
dry without falling apart.

You are the heartbeats
beating inside me,
Carrying me through
everything life brings.

You are everywhere
I need you to be.
My one and only
friend that never
leaves me alone.