Don't wanna need somebody
Who wants to see me fall
Tired of living with nothing
When I know, if I tried, I could have it all
I just need someone to carry me a minute
I'm so tired of climbing this wall
It's so ******* tall
And right now I'm so weak
I just need a cold drink
A moment to think
To catch my breath so I can speak
My world right now is so unforgiving and bleak
I tried turning the other cheek
But he bruised that one too
Turned it black and blue
He is so worthless, and wanted to make sure I was too
Relentless and heartless with no ******* clue
That I may bend and fold
But break? I will not
If there's one thing that I have learned
That I was taught
Is to never show someone all you've got
Only bring to the table what is brought
Because really, this fight has already been fought
Don't let a man get you caught
In the same exact life you worked so hard to leave behind
Keep yourself a piece of mind
Things get rough, but I know in time
I'll start to relax and let myself unwind
The world is ruthless. So unkind
But I gotta keep my eyes open
I'm not blind
I'm in a rut but I will find
A way to stand up and get back on my grind
Gotta pay attention so I don't miss my sign
I may be quiet and a little reserved
I never get anything I'm told I deserve
But one thing I know, that no one can deter
Is that God has given me a gift with words
Maybe they'll save someone who doesn't prefer
To live like this, and in their darkest hour they heard
The pain and sadness in my rhymes
The clarity and hope within those lines
I've never had anything to really call mine
Just weeks and years of wasted time
That apparently I needed to waste so I could find
My inner strength I thought I'd long ago left behind
And I still lose it from time to time
But writing my tragedy and weaknesses
Helps to remind
Me that yeah, life is hard
And my decisions ****
And more times than not
They bring on a series of bad luck
And I tell myself to **** it up
Pretend like I don't give a ****
The positive things in my life, I duck
And dodge and put off and avoid
The dope gets me so **** paranoid
Just trying to get comfortably numb like Pink Floyd
Completely unaware that the devil has been employed
His number one job is to strip me of joy
To treat a human life like a discarded toy
Sticking me to another abusive man, I mean boy
Who makes it his personal mission to destroy
The beauty and integrity I've fought so hard to save
That lives inside me and helps me stay brave
Because I'm too scared to come out of my cave
Take out a red flag, hold it up and wave
And admit to myself that this high that I crave
Is also what almost brought me to an early grave
Because of the chunks of my soul that I gave
Away so carelessly only to become a slave
To a life of despair
No hope. Beyond repair
Living with a man who tried to set fire to my hair
This man is literally half demon, I swear!
There are things that he did that I will never talk about or share
He came so close to stripping me bare
But the demon isn't always there
So when I met him, I was completely unprepared
For the flip of the switch, the momentary glare
That distracted me just long enough
I was totally unaware
Of the intense feelings I would develop
For this man and his demon
Had a heart that cared and had my body screamin
I felt so alive! I had to be dreamin
And I sure the hell was, only now it would seem
He became this spy
Trying to help the wrong team
So cool and casual
BAM!
Unrelenting, fake, and mean
Somewhere in his DNA
You'll find Satan's gene
He could be the Antichrist for real, I mean
The embodiment of Satan
Whose birth was never intervened
He feeds on chaos and confusion
Plans takeovers of souls through hostile intrusion
The human side gives off a glamorous illusion
But when the smoke and mirrors fade
Living in hell is an untold inclusion
Of the package you must claim
After you sign the contract
Once the ink dries there's no going back
And I fell for it all! The whole ******* act!
Love, life and Loyalty
3L was our pact
Never had the time to react
Couldn't let myself retract
But now, looking back
I know this as fact
Your days of demeaning me are through
I no longer have to lean on you
In my heart I know that we are through
So goodbye, farewell, and ******* TOO.