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492 · Oct 2013
I'm Going To
B Oct 2013
i'm going to let my sins of the day wash away
i'm going to meditate
i'm going to pray
i'm going to the river
watch the waves
i'm going to take a walk
think about what made me this way
how i became who i am
i'm going to listen to the nothing
silent in a chair on the porch
close my eyes
forget about the violence
the angry waves
the bitterness
the hate
the death
the goodbyes
the lies
they'll go away
with nothing
i'll close my eyes
and let it go
let them all flow
watch them go by
like leaves on a river
486 · Dec 2013
I'm Old Today
B Dec 2013
Tomorrow isn't promised
this could be my last day
which makes it the oldest day
that I'd ever live
if I were to go
so cheers to being old
486 · Mar 2013
Stop The Bleed
B Mar 2013
i don't have time for games and emotional roller costers
i feel that **** is over
rated
a cliff i never wanted to **** with
i never wanted to climb it
don't have the proper equipment
my heart's equipped with
love
that has gone unforgiven
rotten lies
and sweet words
wish i could take them back
a foolish trick
a silly prank
heart got cracked

if you don't have empathy
for someone who is in pain
you must be numb
and dumb
to all of my remains
all of the spills
and blood that i bleed
it's friendly fire
and you're a friend to me

thought we'd always be friends
but now you're enemy
i wouldn't take you back
if you begged from your knees
i have urgency
about my life and who to please
who to choose and who chooses me
and your time expired
all cuz of friendly fire
you weren't there to stop the bleed
482 · Feb 2013
Bury It
B Feb 2013
It takes a while to bury it, might take a minute or a month, maybe a year or two, maybe a life time. It's up to you. It's something that was given to you, a gift, a treasure, so bury it. It's a lesson that was taught to you on how to treat people when you go through, life and it's ups and downs, twists and turns, skids on the rug, knees marked with burns. As the clock keeps turned, and the memories are burned, frowns turn to smiles, and feet walk miles, no shoes no service, but somewhere there's a place, for all of us to go, and memories get erased, grudges wash away, flowers bloom again, a minute feels like a year, one foot feels like it's ten, until that time I'll hold my pen, and keep the ink coming out because that is when, my mind goes free and memories escape, the leaves get swept by the fingers of the rake. On a fall day I will find it new, something that I didn't know I could do, love again, and feel myself, in love again with someone else, the girl I saw in my dream, on an autumn day, I'll forget my jacket, and leave it at her place. A knock at the door I'm back again, to continue this love that I saw in my dream. A place we can all go, somewhere to escape. That is where I will be, when this memory is erased.
482 · Aug 2013
Two Friends
B Aug 2013
If you ever had something strange
happen in a way where two friends
send signals disconnected
and it's the end
of an idea that once lived
in a mind
but not the other mind
an argument is had
whether a brawl or a jab
to someone
it feels like a stab
a wound
will it heal?
in real
is all that what is
really what appears?
the two of you will get together
and the issue will be brought up
a question asked
a reminder
a request for appeal
the best way to handle it
is to smile and say
"Let's not talk about it"
change the conversation
or walk away
479 · Mar 2013
At The Bar
B Mar 2013
Being at the bar
And watching these girls dance around
and these dudes all do their walks
and their struts
chest out
lookin
lurkin
it's  just me.
and no one else.
I don't see anything.
Just whatever is in front of me
and I can't even see that
Cuz my mind is filled with images
and thoughts
that play
all this other ****
is background noise
I don't know what the **** these people are here for
other than being young
showing off their *****
And trying to forget about what they have to do tomorrow, or what happened today
Smiles, laughter
all that ****
It's going down.
Me.
I'm leaving.
I'm not gonna sit here in the midst of it all. And not do anything. I gotta go do what these people came to escape.
477 · Dec 2013
I Will
B Dec 2013
people going through it all over, ****
worrying doesn't help
keep writing
you'll understand
keep your head down
keep working
be happy
alright man?
don't ever give up
or stop trying
does that sound like a plan?
ok good
then make it an "i will"
and not an "i can"
476 · Apr 2013
New Smile
B Apr 2013
i had all this hope inside my head
u know
it's hard to get over it
it's really hard to get over
but as time goes by
you make better decisions
with what to do with your mind
where you let it travel
avoiding the unravel
please
please
let me
feel peace
cuz this **** inside
won't cease
i gotta stop drinking
cuz i cry
and the *****
goes by
and runs dry
and it's just me
again
and my pain
who waits for me
on the front porch
in the bed
when i wake up
in my dreams
never stops
always creeps
wanna get some sleep
but i miss her so much
i miss her touch
miss her cheeks
the way her skin smelled
****
****'s ****** up
heart break
is a *****
i'll be okay
gonna keep lovin away
the love that was reject
i project
towards u
and the new
people i meet
who need to smile
473 · Apr 2013
Sunday Drive
B Apr 2013
the isolated thoughts
that stray
as i drive home
after a quiet dinner
on a sunday
i think about the future
and where she is
the past
and who she was
all the evils that i felt
all the loneliness i feel now
the sadness from the loss
the acceptance
the grievance
the not so good goodbyes
the late night cries
the wallows
the shakes
feeling like
i'm never gonna make it
but i still get up
and i still strive
i still go up
go out
i still communicate
and love
and feel
i live harder now
cuz it's so real
and that's why i'm thankful for
the pain i feel
473 · Jul 2013
Don't Know My Own Good
B Jul 2013
I don't know my own good
I'm lost at sea
I don't know what is good for me
Right in front of my own face
then gone again
without a trace
I can't seem to see
emotionally
I don't know what to do
even if what to do
is nothing
I'm not really sure
what is best for me
I cannot see
any future leaks
I can only stay in this present time
and wonder why
and how I climb
this mountain
The good will
I try to spill
I admire
my desire
yet I cannot find
a decent rhyme
to convey that I don't know
where to go
or where is my head
have you seen it
shouldn't I know by now
shouldn't there be a body
in a wedding gown
it's empty
yet still I travel
even though
I do not know
I'm not even sure
where to go
from here
472 · Mar 2013
Go Fuck With Your Other Man
B Mar 2013
And stop reading this.
Find something better to do.
I am no longer important to you.

Find someone else to play with, to find amusement with.
You think it's fun be admired and hated and written about.
Find someone else to torture, to **** with, to watch them desire you, only to fall short.

You know where he is, he's waiting for you.
As he always has been.
Whenever you need to fall back.
Just go see your other man.

If these words have ever hurt you, or ever made you feel better, you deserve it.
You deserve it all. So go get what you want.

Stop bothering with me, I'm on my own time, in my own world, I can easily vanish.
And you will no longer see, or get to read, or receive the fruits of my labor.
Go **** with your other man, he's waiting for you.

You did so many things together growing up.
You say you aren't sleeping with him.
But you're not saying that you haven't slept with him.

You hate him.
You love him.
You don't love him.

Then why are we still talking about him?

When you get scared at the train station and need someone to talk to. Don't call me. Don't read this. I won't be able to help. That's the role for your other man.

Call him.

The one who gives you the emotional support you really need.
The two of you. Together. So sweet.
I saw it in the pictures, that you didn't want me to see.

The looks in your eyes.
Then I saw it in a dream.
I saw his face in my head
As we were having ***
And then woke up
with a sick feeling in my stomach.

It's like I needed something to eat, to fill me up. To get rid of that feeling.

I needed to get breakfast.

Hmm.

Maybe I'll pick some up for both of us. And bring it to your job. The job that I ******* you over at. The place where I worked for you and then totally ****** you over, just like you predicted I would..remember how I ****** you over at your job?

That was crazy, wasn't it? You should have never trusted me. Remember that? When I ****** you over?

That was so terrible.

I'll come there. I'll bring you breakfast.

Ah wait. No.

Someone already brought it.

Your other man.

Go **** with him.

And read something else.
470 · Dec 2013
Lover Came Back
B Dec 2013
leave me alone
let me create
get my own space
why is this place
so big
millions of people
yet i still see
the same ******* people
how come these circles
have closed in on me
and i can't escape
i just want to be at a place
with me and you
a house and a lake
wanna be free
from the chains
of the pressure
of the people
of the love
and the hate
people putting thoughts
in my head
i just want to be free
i feel like
every time she comes for me
the inside of me screams
i want to be free
i'm tired of thinking
leads to drinking
obsessing
it's perplexing
but not really
i just have so many feelings
that i keep reliving
i'll never forget it
and it'll always motivate me
to get it
467 · Mar 2013
No More Cigarettes
B Mar 2013
here is something new to brew in the coffee *** maybe make a stew
do whatever it is you need to do and get ready for some **** i'm gonna tell u
it's late at night bout three in the morning i'm the only one up and i'm not even yawnin
no food in the kitchen but i got cigarettes, smoking so long it's hurtin my chest
i take a deep breath and i hear a ruffle, somethings in my muffler, the exhaust makes me exhausted
need a nap can't even move cuz of all this smoke, ****'s up in my throat
i get up to stretch out can't do it anymore
i'm tried of smoking i need exercise to get this right
my mind takes flight when i'm feeling healthy and right
**** all that **** i'm gonna be alright
i want to quit smoking and stop smoking so much ****
i feel like i'm creating a brand new disease
that no one ever knew except me cuz it's me
i'm the only one that gets to really see
what i do to my body and my mind and my health
it takes away my wealth, i'm poor in my health
and it just might help if i take a break from the ****
blowing smoke out my mouth is something i can't quit
it takes me a minute to even stop thinking about it
i feel like it hurts just to not think about it
and i get so bored what do i do with my hands
i can't even cut this ****, and i'm a grown *** man
******* cigarettes man
and all this **** i do
my life style
just isn't ringing true
to my body
it's ******* me up
i gotta get healthy
i keep ******* up
B Dec 2012
sometimes things are calm, sometimes like a storm, sometimes I feel warm and luke, sometimes I puke
sometimes it's flashes and dances galore
sometimes i'm day dreaming about a *****
sometimes i can't get her off my mind
even when i know this obsession is blind
and i can't help but to think to myself
that i need help from obsessing over myself
and that's all i think about and that's every day
my pain and my pleasure, my pleasure my pain
i don't really know what else to do
i just keep throwing the time for a loop
i spin it twice backwards and three times i play
the same song that i listened to yesterday
and i know it feels gay and i hate me this way
but i get sentimental as ****, on some certain days
please cure me of this curse please time oh please do
because i gotta whole lotta things to do
462 · Jul 2013
Up Late at Night
B Jul 2013
Up late at night
when I write
feeling inside
opened up
and became a new person
super human
super charged
it is so powerful
a vein
you've entered my bloodstream
and I'm happy
at work
seeing your text
I smile
I feel like
I have gone wild
I'm an animal
A stallion at full strength
I can't be controlled by any reigns
no physical restraints
can take this feeling away
what I have in my body

but it's that same feeling
I have to this day
as the reason
I have a hard time
getting out of bed

I never wanted to live a life
as a jealous man
I did the best I can
to get where I am today

I still feel joy
and the excitement
but it's just not the same
I feel it all the way to my fingertips
it was electric
on fire
a feeling
that went away
but still remains
I thought I'd go insane
but i'm free
and I'll never forget
what made me feel this way

It was you.
458 · Feb 2013
Don't Give Up
B Feb 2013
don't ever give up
don't ever give up
just write
and write
and write
until it's no more pain
that's what you do
and you'll wake up tomorrow
feeling no longer blue
that's the truth
just wait man
tomorrow's not too much longer
you're almost there
don't give up
because what goes down must come up
so don't give up
456 · Feb 2013
Observe The Cat
B Feb 2013
It walks below me on the sidewalk. He is all black with white socks. He lowers his head to the ground and shoots his awareness side to side in quick flashes untraceable to the human eye. You gaze at him as he walks, cigarette in mouth. No noises made except the flick of a cigarette. The cat stops.

His head shoots straight up. 20 feet above him, watching, a human. His eyes are gold and his stare is fierce. The cat does not trust.

It was this moment he realized he went from predator to prey. His stance widens, his middle back arches. I make a playful hissing noise to show that I mean no trouble. The cat continues to walk. His day is not over. Neither is mine. Cigarette finished, territories established.

The cat does not have time for my ****.
453 · May 2013
Who You're Dealing With
B May 2013
some nasty *** *******
but it's okay
they're all beautiful
in their own way
just not the way i saw them
it was trash
low to the earth
but that's not true about them
or me
i know that they are good people
whatever
i think it's clever
to know who you're dealing with
how they perceive u
and themself
what the relationship is
there's other people in their lives
that know them so much differently
that u could never really understand
how a person is
until u hang out with them
forever
and until u die
then u finally
just maybe
won't have a clue
but u did it
and they loved u
and there u go
that's the end of the show
let the credits roll
452 · Jun 2013
Regrets
B Jun 2013
all the time
i'm feelin
sensitive as ****
like i'm hurt
trying to come up with something
that's gonna clear my pain
and make it go away
but some part of me
wants it to stay
so i can use it
to spray
the hottest ****
ever did
i want the world to know
how i feel
i want them to feel
my pain
and when i possess that
i will reign
447 · May 2013
I Can't Escape
B May 2013
stopped drinking alcohol
cuz i was crying
now i feel better
but there's still tears
supression
somehow
didn't happen
i don't know
what the problem is
guess it's just me
and this depression

she really ****** me up
and i barely even knew her
what the ****
happened
to me
that made me
this way
my childhood
was raised
inappropriately
i have a confession
i'm not even drunk
but i feel like
going to the bar
and not remembering
any of this day
just to know
that i can escape
446 · Feb 2014
Trying to Understand
B Feb 2014
Man it's real good to be alive, and for that I say thank you and continue to strive. Sometimes days are like open eyes, and shut, I don't want to but, I gotta get out of bed and my eyes are blurry, I see nothing but red. The **** that I smoke gets up in my system and I'm not ever fed. I gotta get everything I can possibly get before I leave otherwise I'll feel like I wasn't ****. Understand that? Understand that? Yeah, for sure. That's what I'm trying to say. For real. For real. Understand.
446 · Jul 2013
Man In The Mirror
B Jul 2013
talking to me
saying disparaging things
with his glasses
and pointy nose
i don't want them to see
the inside feeling i hear
i don't want them to ever be near
i want them to know
who they are dealing with
love and respect
they try to try me
betrayal
i can't forget
about me
the words i hear in my head
they ring
over and over
different melodies sing
it tingles
and shifts
flows and bows
up and down it goes
but i stay stable
and **** em
like cain got able
444 · May 2013
Waking Up
B May 2013
gettin up
in the morning
thinkin about
why i'm so not
not not
happy
cuz all this ****
done had me
locked in a cage
of emotion
i'm chokin
but ****
haha
after while
i catch a quick breathe
of oxy
and generate something
better than hate
dancin around
in my house
havin the most fun that i've ever had
by my *******
self
443 · Apr 2013
Shitty Girl Nice Crowd
B Apr 2013
**** that *****
she wasn't laughin 4
nothin

she's too old
too young
quiet
loud

but u keep coming back
if u love her

make a ****** girl
a
nice crowd

it makes for good company
440 · Aug 2013
We Don't Need You
B Aug 2013
If you aren't here
we don't need you
but if you do so happen to stay
we could use a hand
but if you decide to go
someone else will replace you
as a matter of fact he's here
over there
look at him
he's waving
so are you staying
or going
make a decision quick
your **** is showing
we need you
but not that bad
we could go with Jose
or Steve
or Lashawn
or the guy over there
in the corner
with no pants on
standing there by himself
who is he
I don't know
but if you leave
them we could need
should we use you
or do you need to excuse yourself
from this
because we're going to move
in another direction
where are you going
the same direction
maybe we should turn around
stop following us
433 · Jan 2013
Do Not Worry
B Jan 2013
do not worry about money
do not worry about love
do not worry about ***
do not worry about your being
do not worry about people

do not worry about letting them down
because in the end
they will not be around

and no one will know
the things that you did
unless you realize
that we're all just some kids

playing together
sharing our toys
girls will be girls
boys will be boys

and just when you see
it happening naturally
so fluently, so openly
that is the best way to be
because it's all just a dream
423 · Apr 2013
The Night's Thought
B Apr 2013
Things may change, the economy may rain, or I may make it rain, and go to strip clubs every night, living at the top floor of a sky rise. Nah thanks. I like to keep it among the people, that seek real wholesome things, and not just the evil humanity brings.

Understand what I'm saying when I write it? The pen is the plane and I am the pilot. I have an unlimited amount of sky mileage. But the baggage it brings to let your mind sing whatever it must sing. I'm sending signals out like a ping, blast your spyware and make the speakers of your computer ring. That's the bell to your house, and I just snuck out, so quick and so rapidly the cash that I count, from your bank account, which now has zero amount, but you'll always amount to something, I guess.

Success is something that brings more success, and life is like a ****** up game of chess, where not everyone has all the pieces, only start with a pawn, before they know it that **** is all gone, create a masterpiece with whatever you must, learn to trust, learn to bust, and understand completely and logically that without you there would be no me.

All one in the same, the blood not the gang, the spirit inside, the look in the eye, will tell you the truth, face to face man to man, who is really out there? Who is in there. A line in the sand. A line on this poem, a wish and a can. Goodnight, no fright, only good dreams tonight.
422 · Apr 2013
On The Porch
B Apr 2013
i dont miss hating you
or anyone else
and i guess i can pray
to someone
who isn't there
if everyone else has been doing it
this whole time
but if you are talking
then that means
some1
is listening
whether it's the birds
the trees
the earth
the breeze
i feel it
when they whisper
to me
silently
i relax
and take a page
a deep note
listen for a quote
a sense of peace
in a new realm
i feel like im in heaven
without pain
421 · Jun 2013
Dreams
B Jun 2013
My dreams keep multiplying
years go by
I keep crying
never stop trying
to achieve what means
everything
to me

They can never take that away
my passion can break
a giant bridge
like a wooden rake
over my knee
trying hard
is the only way I'm pleased
I will never cease
what I feel inside
I cannot write
cannot say
not enough time
not enough paper
not enough ink
to give you an idea
of how I do this thing

I'm going to be blessed
I'm going to be honored
given respect
a crown of jewels
around my neck
I'm blessed
to feel so strong
so passionate
determined
to get respect
got ****
I love this ****
420 · Dec 2012
You Saw Me on the Bus
B Dec 2012
i remember first meeting you. you said you saw me on the bus.
i said, where were you sitting? and you said, i wasn't on the
bus. then we met later. and then you came to see me later.
and then we came home, and kept drinking, and i vomited. then
i took a shower, and you made me grits, and we had ***. and i
thought i'd never hear from you again. and then you came
back. and again. and again. and we became best friends, just
for a short minute. but within that minute, it felt infinite.
and now it's dead. and my car broke down again.
so i have to get back on the bus.
413 · Aug 2013
Last Night
B Aug 2013
what did i do last night?
good lord
that felt like
a three round fist fight
with me in the middle
of two *******
trying to **** each other
face down on the pillow
i'm up
and trying to place it all
back
into some sort of
something that
makes some sort of sense
and i think i write poetry
because i don't have time
to write anything longer
cuz it all goes
to drinking
smoking
drug abusing
and cruising
around the city
feeling pretty
after a day
of not
sitting in a chair
letting my emotions rot
but anyways
i gotta run
flee
go get
what i want
and be
where i need to be
412 · Jun 2013
How Does This Read
B Jun 2013
how does this read to you
when you see these letters
and string them together with glue
started out as floating letters
like alphabet soup
now it has phrases
that ring a bit true
i bet you don't have a clue
what i'm trying to say
and if you do
that's cuz I gave it away
i printed it up
hits the newsstands today
but you'll just buy it
and throw it away
403 · Feb 2014
Free
B Feb 2014
sometimes i want to laugh and cry at the same time
usually happens when i'm a little high
what i did to get a little by
when time flies
or slows
i end up in a back yard
with somethin rolled
it's twisted
like the weeds
i just like to get high
at first it's a rush
then it subsides
i find myself in a world
that no one but me can see
satisfied and nourished
i'm free
400 · Jun 2013
My Soul Remains
B Jun 2013
you know how i know i won the game
after it was played
only she remained
she ate remains
now she's stained
with my blood
if she cant sleep at night
there's a reason
other men lay creep
and fright
good luck to the one whose soul desired
now that i've seen it
feel despised
when she looks me in the eyes
i cannot see
the clarity
i experience now
the battle won
i live on
and she must remain
by herself
to this day
and tomorrow
and after that

while my soul remains
398 · May 2013
Another Dream
B May 2013
another day, another night, another dream
it's me
waking up
to another day
with memory
I just keep thinking
about
the feelings
that I had
and the way
she made me feel
I thanked her
I said
Thank you
for making me feel this way
and goodbye
but
I never really did
escape
and to this day
even though she's gone
I still feel her presence
I'm at work, trying to type, and focus
in my cubicle
but tears keeps falling
so loosely
I hope no one sees
but I hope everyone feels
at some point
the way I did
becuase I tell you
you can never replace it
or feel anything like it
god ******
I can't
get rid of this
feeling
it's just with me
each day
I wake up
and see it again
feel it again
it chases me in my dreams
and stays with me as I sleep
it's a fleece of fabric
that I cannot remove from me
398 · Jun 2013
I Can't Wait
B Jun 2013
Just need some company
in due time
I want to feel aligned
in peace
not maligned
with a person who
I so dearly trust
that I absolutely must
respect and cherish
more than much
more than me
she's my destiny

whom I cannot
without a doubt
anxiously
wait to meet
396 · Jun 2013
I Wanna Let You Know
B Jun 2013
I remember when
someone broke in
and stole my heart
never saw it coming
it happened at the start
and a few months later
I got a call from you
saying someone got
shot and killed
at your new place
like a child
I thought it was a game
you slept that night in fear
while out at the bar I remained
to me that was the day
that my love went away
and to this day my heart
cries and screams
I should have been there
by your side
and put your mind at ease
to let you know
I care about you more than me
but now I'm stuck here
with this bad disease
crying won't complete
and words can't describe
how much I miss thee
and I've always wanted you
but your love does not come free
I hated things about you
because they're what I saw in me
that's why I have to learn to love
me and only me
and hope and believe
that one day
I can let you be
and I want to let you know
that I forgive you for everything
and the next time I see you
I'm giving you this letter
even if it's in a dream
394 · Mar 2013
Death Of A Relationship
B Mar 2013
i dreamt that
there were two funerals
and it was out in some place
in the country
i thought she would come
like she said she would
but she didn't
i kept lookin at my phone
and got nothin
and i said
i should call her
yeah i still got her #
i think it's time
and the dude that works
at the gas station across the street
was in my dream
and he said no ben
it's not what it seems
now is not the time
do not call
the rest is a blur
and i woke up
and i'm wondering
why?
why?
why won't she be there when i need her?
i guess i'll never know
and that's the last thing she told me
before she had to go
i said where were you?
why didn't you call?
and she said
you will never know
www.deeperinsideofme.com
380 · Jun 2013
Same Songs
B Jun 2013
they play the same ****
same ****
same crowd
same people
like the same songs
why do they listen
and play these things
even the people
who think they are different
are just doing the same thing
projecting
ideas and feelings
portrayed in a different way
at the surface it's all the same
look at it now
tighten your frames
how can you explain
the human being maintain
what goes in our brains
that makes us behave
such a way?
378 · Apr 2013
I Dont Get It
B Apr 2013
you think the nice things about them
in the morning
then u think about
what u dont like
as time goes on
your feelings
turn sour
and they feel
no good
like something is on you
and you can't get it off
then you write about it
and let it out
it simmers
in your mind
and you see them
and try to explain it
but
they dont really hear
what your pain is
they cant change it
only you can
so you do
say goodbye
cut em off
we're through
be cruel to be kind
evil can be wise
if played in right disguise
you'll fool them
go **** some other guys
and theyll never know
what youll tell em
but they did
you cant hide behind a mask for too long
before they see it
what's really there
underneath
it melts away
and shows a face
they never knew
and are disgusted to know
now they must change
and grow apart
cuz separates always better
when they are from afar
dont smash your car
or break your phone
it's okay now ben
you can go home
374 · Aug 2013
Remember, You
B Aug 2013
Before we do
there is one rule
between me and you
you aren't right for me
I'm not right for you
if feelings we shall choose
we're going to sing the blues
it might leave a bruise
372 · Jul 2013
How Writing A Joke Feels
B Jul 2013
a joke goes through you
feels so fluid
three months later
it's starting to feel like
paste
and it doesn't quite taste
what it used to taste
the flavor saves
as long as it takes
to forget about the memory
that fades
of how you felt
when you first wrote it
365 · Mar 2013
Where She At
B Mar 2013
nothin wrong with a **
but where's the one that's gonna blossom
and grow
into something substantial
other than ***** chasin financial
tryin to get extravagant

******* gonna do
what they choose
when will they see
the news
is old

when they get less attractive
and try
to lock up
with whoever stayed with them
or happens to be there at the time
some do it in an instant
with an instinct
i don't know what they are thinking
in their minds
what makes them so hard
to get inside
and see what it's like
to be them
why they feel like
they can't trust me
with their thoughts
their heart
their prayers
and wishes
why do they play tricks on me

maybe they play tricks on themselves
and i get to be the trick
used up
passed back
spit out
but a real woman will stand up
and see a man
made
branded
and ready to conquer
anything in the world
she gonna come along for the ride?
is she scared?
never
she'll say
and i'll say
**** right
there she is
360 · Apr 2013
High
B Apr 2013
am i a deeply spiritual person or am i just always high?
sometimes
when i sit outside
on the porch
i hear the bird
chirping
in his cadence
and it tastes so good
and the smoke comes slowly
out my mouth
through my nose it goes
up yours
with a rubber hose
i smoke
and the trees flow
and the breeze shows
its face
353 · Mar 2013
Finally Free
B Mar 2013
my mind wants to
get back
but it's only gonna be
****** up feelings
no forgiveness
it takes time to heal
from stuff like that
you know
you think you're good
yeah right
yeah right
you still could see her
and do the same thing over and over again
it's so nice to have her
and be at peace
i just want to find
the woman of my dreams
my love is so strong
it's so weak
my knees so beat
my heart still beats
but that doesn't mean
that i'm gonna see
the same girl that did me
oh so *****
she's not even a ***** or a ** or a *****
she's just someone
that i miss
and want back
but i can't do it
cuz it'll never work
she doesn't love me like that
and i'll never understand that
i'll never really get it
i'll never really know
and time it will go
and i'll think about it more and more
and until i leave that door
wide open and see
to let someone else in
my heart is finally free
350 · Jul 2013
The World Can Tell You
B Jul 2013
the world can tell you
one big lie
line after line
spend your dime
drink your wine

tell you the truth
then flip it upside down
the world goes round and round
never stays its ground

i can't tell you
how many times i've seen
nothing that once
was something
some things i've seen

the lies i've told
to myself in my
world upstairs
underneath my hairs

the world told me that you were true
it was all i knew
a seed in my heart you grew
but now it's blue

the world still wakes me up to think
about what i missed
how much it stinks

the world
that was you
i thought i knew
that you were true

but the world has different plans
a different lie
it all takes time

for the world to create
a perfect match
an inconvenient truth

the world is going to open my eyes
to a new surprise
a different lie

i can't wait
i'll always seek
the new you
til the day i die
350 · May 2013
I Made You Laugh
B May 2013
these problems u got
or supposedly have
aint even that bad
just remember that
when u miss her
and see her in your dreams
it aint always
exactly what it seems

oceans
flowers
stars
planets
all do
man
you're so beautiful
i just wish
i can forget you

i think it all started
in the beginning
when
we first got together
and did a few things
and then
like
i guess
i didn't really love you like that
or something
i dunno
i just think about
my insecurities
and how i couldn't hide them anymore
and it was self destructing
containing
some sort of anger within
that must be let out
and when it finally did
all those suppressed emotions
came out
that's what i've done
so long
so long
so long
now we're all weird
right
but I made you laugh
330 · Dec 2012
greatest rhyme ever wrote
B Dec 2012
your bread is weak, you lack toast
my cheese is sick, lactose
325 · Jun 2013
Still Alive
B Jun 2013
here it comes again
those thoughts about
what happened to him
innocent boy
played with toy
thought he could handle
got destroyed

memory lasts
slow dripping pain
runs down window
over and over
it scrapes
images maintain
whenever in frame

all in all
there's no complaints
live, love, lose
all in a day
no matter how much ache
level of hate
move forward and thank

still alive today
320 · Jun 2013
Life Goes
B Jun 2013
I want to enjoy
this life
so I write
to get my mind
off things
that cause strife
harm done
all foul
I dismiss those
I find foul
and keep traveling down
the open road
going hard
loving life
mile after mile
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