i've broken other peoples' hearts
in a vain attempt to understand
how you broke mine
how you could love me
then leave me
with nothing but a cold shoulder
as a consolation prize

and i still don't understand
because i mourn for those
whose hearts i've broken
and i want to love them
even though i can't

but i'm not a mindreader, so tell me:
did you want to love me or
was leaving really so easy?

fingers numb
as I wait for the bus
while snow falls.

my heart thumps
and blood circulates
to keep me warm.

my soul comes alive
even when I am physically
numb.

an inner fire burns
within me
to keep me warm.

I am free even
when I'm
numb and cold.

Her name is Leigh
And she sleeps inside of me
I've made up lies to tell her
To get her to fall back asleep
She has a tendency to wake up
In the middle of the night
Screaming for me to join her
She's always been afraid
Of monsters under her bed.
I've learned sick lullabies to sing
Her back into hibernation
And now they are telling me
I can't sing anymore
They are trying to rip
Out my vocal chords
And Leigh just sits there
Crying her eyes out
Because she's afraid of the dark
And my skin keeps her away
From the sun
So maybe instead of singing
I will rip open my skin
Like they want to rip out my vocal chords
So she can see the light.

The piercing sound of her cry
Is what keeps me up at night
And I'm tired of losing sleep
So maybe I will try and stop singing
To her those sick little songs
But she has to stop crying
She won't stop.

I can't get her to stop.

Please make her to stop.

I've run out of sleeping pills
And there aren't enough lights
Turned on in my bedroom
To get her to stop screaming.
She's always been afraid of the dark.

She won't stop crying.

I think she has learned that
The darkness she is afraid of
Comes from inside of me.
And the darkness that blooms inside me

Is there because I can't get any sleep.

"I figured it out long ago
The dark is nothing to be afraid of
I want you to join me
So no more sleeping and
No more singing
Just rip open your skin again
Because I want the darkness out
I want you to see what I see
It's not scary.
It's glorious.
I don't want to stop crying."
*-Sincerely, Leigh

I guess some people aren't
my cup of tea.
We could never have deep
conversations or inside jokes.
You know I like inside jokes.

We would never see anything
but ourselves, lonely and afraid
of hurting the other person.
I can't be afraid of you.

We would never have that spark.
There would always be a
grand pause where the fortissimo
should have been.

I guess some people aren't
my cup of tea.
I'm also glad that those people
stay that way.

"I'll wait for you,"
when we were kids,
you had said.

But Jack's still comatose
and Jill is dead.

You never came.

I’m losing myself
i lost myself
im lost
find me.

S.W

A phrase said so much
It's almost lost its meaning
Started so important
So influential

It has lost its touch
Because it's said too much
Not often thought through
It's now a reflex

Take this seriously
I mean it truly
You are my everything
I Love You