False hope is
dangerous.
It is like giving someone
medication and then-
knocking it out of their hands.
I can't believe that you could sit there and
lie
to
my
face.
Because nobody cares,
maybe not even you.

but maybe some drugs you
can take back after they've been
knocked onto the floor. not this
one.
you broke my mind as you
just dropped
countless pills on the floor.
my world fell crumbling down
(just like the tears you cried
when your great grandfather died).

I watched and waited and
hoped that you would start telling me
the truth,
and all you did was smile,
and I cried into an abyss because your shoulder
was too far away.
I don't know where I am or who
they are,
but I can tell that you mean something to me,
right?
I'm not sure,
I haven't taken medication.

i am addicted to my makeup,
because it makes me feel pretty.
i am also addicted to you,
but you make me feel ugly.
it bothers me that,
to everyone else,
my addiction to you
is the more logical of
the two.

you smelled like strawberry candy
(which was weird because you
didn't eat candy).
the minute I saw you I fell
for you but I didn't realize it until
months later when I
was crying into your shoulder
and I needed you to hold me
or else I would slip and fall.

and then I fell anyway,
but instead of falling away,
I fell for you.
I cried and told you that
I was scared,
I was so scared.
and you said that everything would
be ok, and you wouldn't leave me-
when things were bad, or things were good,
you would stay.

I was never sure that I
wanted you to stay until
I brought you to my favorite
place, and realized
that it wasn't my favorite place
anymore, it felt so wrong,
because you were my favorite
place, and I don't know
what I would do if I
didn't have you by my side.

Every time my eyes shut,
I hugged my arms close to my body,
trying to pretend I didn't see the end,
everything wrong,
and my worst nightmares.
you pressed a hand to my neck and
promised me
that it was just in my head,
and you begged me to open my eyes,
and see the truth.
so when I finally looked up,
I saw the truth-
I saw you.

i remember the day we started talking
(i mean really talking,
when you looked into my
soul and i into yours)
and i never thought it would
get so close.
like i couldn't breathe without
knowing you were inches away.

you told me i helped you
breathe too but
then why did you leave like that?
why'd you leave me outside
cold in the dark
when you stayed inside
and forgot about me,
moving on to happier times
(yeah maybe we didn't
always have the happiest
times but it was nice
to feel you next to me,
and you were alive next to me).

but now you're so far away
(it's funny, seconds ago you were
so close) and i'm finding it hard
to breathe again.
where are you?

one time i told you not to let go,
and you swore on your life that you wouldn't.
you pinky promised that you'd
never let go of my hand if i didn't let
go of yours. when we hid under
the bridge and kissed i could feel your
heart beating, and i grabbed your
hand harder, trying to hold onto it forever
to keep my end of the deal,
never wanting to let you go because
you were oh so beautiful

i never thought that you would be the
first to let go.
because i didn't.
i didn't let go, ******,
and you let my hand slip away.
you promised, but i should have known that
you were just waiting
to find something better to hold onto.

i grabbed your hand in the
dark (when the only lights were
the glow of your eyes) but then
this morning you rejected it
for someone else's
(someone who deserves you
way more than i do, i'm sure,
but it's hard to see you leave
when you promised you would stay).

i can't pretend
to be in one piece
because i'm an actress,
but i'm not that good.
i built my life around you,
so solidly
that it crumbled when you left.

it's like a castle that only needed
one brick.
but you are the brick and i am the castle
no one expected me to crumble
this easily
(but here i am, lying in a heap by
your feet).

i don't know why
i let you do this-
i should have built my own foundation.
instead, what did i do?
i broke just because you said
'goodbye'

we were in love,
but i didn't realize that you were
such a good liar and that i was so gullible.
i didn't realize that heartbreak and love
go hand in hand and that a boy like
you will always break my heart
the same way you broke that window
with your baseball in third grade.
I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT YOU LIKE
GIRLS WHO DON'T TRY SO HARD TO
BE PERFECT

AND I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT YOU
NEVER REALLY LOVED ME EITHER
BECAUSE I WANTED SOMEONE TO LOVE
ME BEFORE I DIED AND YOU
VOLUNTEERED WILLINGLY
BUT IT WAS ALL A JOKE AND
I WAS THE PUNCHLINE.

sometimes i care about you so much
that it takes a couple of minutes for
me to realize you don't care that much about me