One spoon of cough syrup*

              Pour
   Lines pulled against
         the currents,
like the strings of my day
      and you have set
       underneath my
            horizon;
    flares of your colors
         settling into
           my earth.
                                                     Taste
                                          Read my eyes and
                                             longing looks.
                                      Find the nerve behind
                                           the trail of scarlet
                                          and embrace your
                                           lingering shadow
                                         the one I've learned
                                                  to love.                                            

          Swallow                                          ­                                                  
   Cling to my desire                                                           ­                              
 and entangle yourself
         once more
don't struggle instead
     press your bones
        into my grave
   and bury me in your
         flesh of broken
                dreams.
                                  ­                                                                 ­                                                             Repeat
                                         ­       Defrost your denied
                                                         approval in
                                                         my warmth
                                                     and wrap me in
                                                           attention.
                                                      ­ Turn me into
                                                  your poison apple
                                                and sink your heart
                                                  deep into my core.

San Francisco, CA

There isn’t anything I don’t love about winter
The cold air
The frozen ground
The painted sky
And you, next to me
Wearing layers, making us look three times our normal size
And the snow, that is, if you’re lucky enough to get snow
The lingering presence of happiness in the air
And the sound the ice on the ground makes when you step on it
Pale faces and rosy cheeks
And the burning of your hands when you go inside
And the idea that every single snowflake that falls
Is not like the other
And yet, they’re all beautiful
And those mornings when the sky looks like the shiny ombré pattern
On some dumb t-shirt of a 12-year-old girl
Who isn’t quite ready to grow up just yet
Who enjoys the cold air and the frozen ground
And who loves the snow oh so much
And sees the beauty in its flakes
And is devastated when winter ends
Because everything must come to an end
Much like this poem

You are the cigarette
I have every morning
The taste still lingering on my lips.

Just like the cigarette you hurt me slowly
Corrupting my lungs
And blackening my throat.

But you are worse than a cigarette
Because they only **** me if i light them
Where as you,
Rot the air in my lungs
And steal my oxygen.

Whenever
You speak.

Maybe that is all we are
Modern day poets and writers
Amateur story tellers using different canvases
Lost souls trying to express themselves through ink
Broken hearts trying to cleanse themselves in blood
The stories are always made from the same elements, though
Pain, heartache, a little bit of hopelessness
Maybe a shred of light in the face of an abyss
And then it is all over.

I wish I was a lighter I
that touched the clouds as they rolled by
and on the wings of joy I'd fly
far into the bluest sky

I wish that I had held it strong
held it true as we went along
and when the night came I was brave
and fought the shadows from my cave

But I lost my heart one day
in your smile as you drove away
and madness then consumed my mind
I was wrong, I was blind

because in you hope I saw
false as every time before
and I tried to cage you like a bird
with writing out my pretty words

I wish I was as cold as snow
cooled beneath an arctic wind
with frozen blood that could not feel
and no need to make me heal

I wish that I could see the lies
wedged with wires in my mind
I was not yours and you weren't mine
We are angels of a different kind

I wish that I could fix this mess
my insanity made my deeds digress
because its hard to let go of someone I touched
who told me that she loved me much

If I could go and fix the past
and make it better, make it last
I would be my closest friend
a hero that won in the end

But time can't bend back to repair
it's sealed and done forever there
and we are all just broken clocks
chained within and sealed with locks

And you were just a passer by
on a break, saying hi
And I was looking for a missing piece
or maybe just some pain relief

I've been unfair and been unkind
you did not deserve to see my despair
but you responded with human care
I think somehow you understand

And I will be well in the end
as I always get up again
and I'll try to leave this emo ****
it's a bit of an embarrassment