Athea

Athea Nov 2014

I went into the desert.
I felt reborn.
I watched the sunset;
no noise, just the wind, the sand, and me.
I had no regrets.
No wishes.
No wants.
No worries.
My sadness was gone - scared away.
Now I'm on a bus - back to the city.
The bus full of noisy teenagers lost in the age of technology;
the cars racing by at 120km per hour.
The buildings blocking the sunset;
the street lights flipping off the sun;
the radio towers standing straight;
the planted trees on the side perfectly cut.
Man made perfection.
My sadness slowly stretching itself out within my skin.

people need to get outside - become one with nature.
After all it is where we come from;
how can we be happy if we're not home.

Nov 2014

Edward Coles

Nicotine Lozenges and Instant Coffee

I do not want to talk about love today.
I do not want to mention
affectionate contact or semi-regular ***.
The newspapers are bringing forth
welcome divisions between mankind;
fault-lines of irreconcilable differences
to justify my half-hearted attempt at solitude.

I do not want to talk about sobriety today.
I do not want to bore you
with those nervous hours between cigarettes
and how I fill each moment spent inside myself.
******* offers a ladder of perfume and hair
for me to ascend to some anaerobic bliss,
towards an isolated unity between myself

and the woman stretched out on my astral bed.
I do not want to talk about much today.
I have over-thought all that is worth a mention.

c

Athea Oct 2014

My demon - your demon

He doesn't deserve this.

As the cuts on my wrists turn to scars,
his hands itch for the nearest blade;

as I lie in my bed, my pillow dry for the first time,
his pillow absorbs his tears and reminds him of his nightmares;

as I get 6 hours of sleep,
he lies awake afraid of the silence
       6:00 am, he no longer needs an alarm clock.

                                                                                                 As I get better
                                                                                                 he gets worse.

My demon ****** the life out of me and moved on to him.
I wish to rid my demon off his back;
everyday I see my demon drain him;
like a hostage forced to watch it's torment,
  hands bound,
      gagged mouth,
           mascara stained cheeks.

He doesn't deserve this.

I've started to get better but its hard when you feel guilty for causing someone else's suffering. i am so sorry for doing this to you.

#depression #demons #guilt #suffering