Daddy!!!!
Where are you?
I need you
It seems like we were close,
Until I lost you.

Now I feel:
Abused.
Misused.
Shut-out.
Independent.
These people don't know our bond,
I can feel your presence.

I can feel you but I'm never able to touch you,
Hug you and tell you how much I love you.

A mothers love is all they say I need
But lately I've been deprived of the very little I need.

I need you in my life to show me true loves course,
Because without you love is lost.

Where will you be when I'm eight-teen years of age,
To show me that I do have some good ways.
To be my teacher but not to an actual class;
To be there when all love seems lost.
To guide me and show me the right way.

All these words running through my mind so I'm left to say:
"Daddy, where are you I need you?"
With no response, I carry on my way;
Thinking my daddy will answer me some-day.

how funny it is
when i was younger
mother would kiss my
boo-boos and bandage
them up.
cause you see im a
bit grown now- and i
cause my own cuts-
mother does not kiss
them- no band aid
do they see
my mother thinks I'm
crazy, my sister believes
im insane. i just shake
my head when they say
that cause i know they
dont know my pain.
you might not believe me
but these cuts keep me
at ease, they allow me to breathe
so please dont think im
crazy, dont call me insane...

ec

How does it feel when the guns pointed at you?
When u take your final breath and the guns man say
Three.
Two.
Two.
It sounds like two because you never hear the one,
Because by that time your already gone.

When you gasp and the bullet goes through
And I look at you in disbelief as I don't believe it's true.
A life taken it's  unbelievable was it mistaken.
You had plan this long ago but I believed your were faking.

Now I kno the truth, I kno it's real
Now u can wipe that smerk off your face
As u can see how I really feel
Cold hearted, heart frozen
Can't feel a thing neither do I wish to
paralyzed to love Is it because of these gun wounds.

Even when my body drips the last drop of blood I need to survive
I won't forgive you
Because why?
It's simple, you meant to;
Not only to end a chance of true love but a life too.

Fifty shades of Gray, spattered across my eyes
Some call it abuse, that comes to no surprise
Why do these people hate me so much?
Why do I hate myself?
Why is it that I'd rather die than give my pain to somebody else.
I don't want you to feel what I feel because I'm afraid;
I'm afraid you'll  never recover, neither heal;
from the Judgement, misinterpreting
And misunderstanding, your too frail.
I won't put u through what I'm going through;
I Love You too much to do that to you.
And one day you'll remember me and I'll be long gone.
These thoughts will forever play in your head like a song;
The words will thump in your head like a drum
Fifty shades of gray, A neutral color to some.