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 Jun 2013 ashley
marina
the truth is
 Jun 2013 ashley
marina
i'm sorry,
some things just don't
change-

(you could tell me
you still love me
one thousand times
and it wouldn't
make a difference;
i started tracing
his name into
the margins of my
school papers long
before you were
gone)

maybe it's time we just
forget
your ex-lover is dead by stars.  great song, eh?  it's on repeat.
 May 2013 ashley
Ayaba Babe
He's nervous to meet me, he must be.
It's been twenty-one years.
Twenty-one years absent from the beat of my heart where his blood runs through-
I let him enter intravenously,
Because God told me to.
 May 2013 ashley
marina
i have run
out of words
to give to
you
.
 May 2013 ashley
marina
i don't need you to hold my hand
anymore to reassure me that you're there,
but sometimes i still get scared, so
i'm begging you tonight--
                                             please
                                                       don't
                                                               *go
because this is the scariest road i've ever had to cross and i don't know what to do when all my friends have to go and i have to stay so please stay with me too.  i don't need you to be here every day like i'd like you to be, but don't tell me it would hurt less to just stop talking now because that's bull and you know it.  
holy crap i'm freaking out.  i'm sorry, i feel like i use hp more as a diary than i should.
 May 2013 ashley
marina
he said
it's just easier this way,
to let you go before you're
gone

she said
you're only hurting yourself
more, letting go instead of
holding on to hope

he said*
i just don't want to hold on
anymore

she said*
but you have to, for me
please

(but for her own sake,
she'd already prepared herself
to get ready to let go)
i'm a hypocrite
because i fail to see why he's pushing away the two best friends he's ever had, and so i tell him to stop being ridiculous and to hold on.  but i'm already putting up walls just in case he decides it's not worth it.
you guys convinced me not to delete this.  thank you
 May 2013 ashley
marina
i'm lost,
(no) i'm found--
s l o w l y
but
surely
becoming
u n b o u n d
and i'm a mess right now but that's okay because not knowing what the hell to do is teaching me a lot about myself, and for that, i'm thankful.
 May 2013 ashley
marina
sometimes i wonder if
kacie would be happier if
she didn't smoke, or
if that is the very thing that
holds her together

(judging by the way she is
now, i suppose i'll never
really know)
poor kacie- all anybody ever wants to do is save her, but it seems there's no way to.
on a completely different note: oh gosh, this has gotten bad.  i've started writing fanfiction, somebody please stop me now.  i just can't even.  i'm so ashamed.
 May 2013 ashley
marina b
10w
 May 2013 ashley
marina b
10w
is it possible to be perfect?
because you're pretty **** close.
 May 2013 ashley
marina b
hands
 May 2013 ashley
marina b
every time i watch
your strong
hands
move your strong
fingers
i wonder
how they would feel
on me
oops...
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