It's like you never left,
the way the air still smells
of that cheap dollar store cologne
and of stale Marlboros and whiskey.

Your phantom hands ran through my hair
and ghostly lips sunk into my neck
and I could not help to think I heard you say
"oh honey, oh, how I've missed you."

But all the while my eyes were closed
I hadn't realized something:
that the window lay cracked wide open
and the wind blew out the candle flame.

So, you've taken what's mine,
left a wound in my side,
and now I must find
what the purpose was this whole time
because this cut won't heal
and my heart will bleed
searching for answers
far too few and none plenty
but I will never let you see the struggle
that has left me bruised and broken
for I am a much better person
sobered and steady
and glowing with pride.

Let me taste your lips
and the softness of your skin
as day turns to night.

I saw you for what you're worth, yet all you could see was the darkness that never left from your mistakes.

We spent our days engrossed in emotion that only loved ones could obtain, yet we never gave a name to what was created in our own special way.

I can't stand the thought
of you with someone else
because though you're not mine
at least not really,
they get to have what I want
and that's you, all to myself
with nothing else in between
except thin linen sheets
and raw skin.

I can't help but be selfish.

I watch as the white lights shine on
down that freeway, flying by exit signs
with no sense of direction
except on the way to you
and a smile that could light up a room
and eyes as endless as the sea
and with arms stretched wide
just waiting, waiting for me.