When you're falling in a forest and nobody's around

It doesn't crash
Or even make a sound

"I have a gun just like the one used to **** John Lennon"

The gun was handed over to me

I held the small unloaded revolver in my right hand, my index finger caressing the trigger as my other fingers tightly gripped the handle.

Pinched between my left thumb and index finger was a single bullet.
imagined how large hole in my temple could be.
I slid the bullet into place.


Pause


Dumped the bullet back into my hand.
Placed gun down
Shook off the thought of suicide

Turned to my brother

"No wonder it always took so long to reload on call of duty hahaha"

Causal.

The moisture will evaporate
Clouds will form
The rain will pour
the sun will come out.

Night will turn to day
Day to night
Over and over
And over again

The earth will continue to spin
Rotate
Orbit
The ball will drop at the start of a new year
Lovers will kiss
Friends will celebrate

Music will sound just as sweet
As the band marches on
Left foot, right foot, repeat.

An empty matress under a frame
Lights that no longer glow
Strings that haven't been plucked in ages

A plant with no water
No sun
No hope for growth

rarely, i feel on top of the world
most times times i am... on the bottom of the world?
i am... under the weather. blue. uh. having a bad time

sometimes i swear i could climb a mountain because why not? im already pretty up there.
when other times, i can barely manage to plant my feet firmly on the ground for long enough to say that i got out of bed that day.

there are highs and lows, but usually i am just grey.
regardless of what kind of day or hour or minute it is... i am alive

and no matter the altitude

the feeling is all the same

meh

from holding on so **** tight

I am

pale skin,
colorful soul

I'm a plane on autopilot
in a constant state of "whatever"
days pass me by but they all seem to blur together.

my head is so foggy i can barely think straight; I'm trudging through life in a depression-induced haze.

the heart in my chest is far heavier than it should be, my stomach is in knots and everything hurts my feelings.

I try to control it and I try to be okay, but I can't help it in the car when tears stream down my face.

I'm a lit fuse, an active volcano, a grenade ready to blow. any little thing that happens causes my cup of emotions to overflow.

I feel so trapped, there's no way out of my head. I don't even find comfort under the covers in my own bed. there's nothing I can do to put these demons to rest.

because I'm not a child who finds security in a teddy bear or a blanket or a rocking chair. I can't color away my problems when I feel that nobody cares.

usually this would be the resolution
stanza where I say what will solve the problem, but I don't know how to and that scares me. I hope I find my way soon.

and then the rain fell

0

In a world full of darkness and confusion, you are my light and my clarity.

please take it easy on me

I didn't ask to be born.

It's hard to go back to reality after being really happy. It gets so bad that i can't even see my own hands in the dark. Sometimes i feel as if the darkness is consuming me, and the only way to stop it is to let it take over, letting the fire that is my life burn out. I don't let this happen though, as i feel like my one earthly duty is to protect the people that i love.

My head is constantly spinning
And I can't seem to regain my balance,
I'm so depressed that I can't see straight, But since I'm young
I guess those feelings aren't even valid

We live on a floating rock, constantly rotating around the sun
Yet people are still worried about random boys who like it up the ****.
We're too concerned about one another rather than what's truly important:
Like staying in our own lanes, and teaching things that are less adhordent

It's 2015 and people are still being judged by their color  
When really we should be judged based upon How we treat each other

society is taking a negative turn, no doubt about it
with ignorant people preaching hate,
saying that a woman is at fault when she gets *****.

"She was asking for it" they say,
as they sexualize shoulders and legs
thinking that a woman wearing a short dress
Is just begging for their toxic kiss

The only thing I'm begging for
Is a change of heart in the hateful,
Who say my love isn't real
Because it isn't "full, fruitful, and faithful"

My love is fuller than
You will ever know
it's not my fault that you live
life with your eyes closed

I'll love who I want
Because **** she's so fine
And anyone who looks at me differently
Is no friend of mine

And a final "*******"
To all the ******* in This small town
Who think they look better when they
Put another person down

(You don't look better, you look like an ******.)

Cracking under pressure
Relapsing
Losing touch with reality
losing her
getting caught
losing control
being replaced
not being good enough
disappointing the people I love
not being accepted
rejection
Being forgotten
Growing old
Hurting the people I love
Breaking down
Going back
Being trapped *but I'm already trapped?

I want to protest,
I want to rebel
I want to stand up and yell in their faces.

I'm tired of being put down,
I'm tired of falling short.
I'm tired of trying so hard for things that don't even matter to me.

It's sad teenagers dream of being 18 so they can get away from the life they're living
It's so **** sad that some feel that life is so bad that they'd harm themselves to escape.

We're told to think for ourselves but then when we speak our minds we're told to shut up and sit down as if a teenager couldn't possibly know anything about the world; as if the number of years on this earth determines whether or not we understand the concept of loving another human unconditionally, or understand what it's like to be sad.

I want everyone to come together and fight the injustice. To live deliberately, to **** the marrow out of life.

It's funny that the
         smallest things
                       Push me          
                                            Over
                                                             The
                                                                               Edge