Our souls are entwined

our dreams, one mind

to others, were blind

our love, the lasting kind

A blue dress stands out against the moving leaves.
Reaching up she holds a limb and swings her feet,
Catching a branch with her legs she pulls herself higher,
She laughs as she climbs.

A moving world of green,
A thousand shades,
Leaves brushing her face,
Twigs catching her clothes.

Twenty feet below,
Infinity above,
She climbs on,
Seeming to dance as she twists and turns,
Whirls and spins,
Joy of life,
Happiness and freedom,
Carefree and light as the wind and the leaves.

Thirty feet up,
There's no stopping her now,
She knows what she's doing,
She's not afraid.
The height is nothing to her,
She needs to breathe the air the birds breathe,
The fairies are calling her,
Guiding her to the top,
And she herself becoming more fairy-like the higher she gets.
A sprite, dancing,
A brownie, weaving,
A nymph, a dryad,
An elf, spiralling through the leaves.

Forty feet, she's almost there,
A breath of wind curls through her yellow hair,
Her laughter tinkling through the air,
Her voice joins the birdsong.

Fifty feet! She's there at last!
She bursts through the canopy,
Arms waving,
Face upturned to the sky,
She's free,
A smudge of gold in a world of green.

14/09/2006
© Bonnie C. Aspinwall 2006

i
am
      f
     a
       L
   L
        i
            n
        G
         deeper
                    i
                  n
                      Love
                     w
                  i
                      t
                                h
                   You.

im scared.
im scared to hug you
im scared to hold hands
im scared to go places with you
because theres always that possibility,
that i will fall in love.
so i hide.
i hide behind my wall.
i have built it very tall.
i fear by trying to block you out,
and push you away,
i have made you just want to stay.
that scares me.
because i think i have,
scared myself,
into loving you.

So I looked up the word hope in the dictionary today...

hope |hōp|
A feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.

Then I decided to read the definition for expectation.

expectation |ˌekspekˈtā sh ən|
A strong belief that something will occur, or will be lived up to.

Then I decided to read the definition for lived.

lived |liv'd|
To have been alive at a specified point in the past.

Then I decided to read the definition for past.

past |past|
The time or a period of time before the moment of speaking or writing.

Then I decided to read the definition for moment.

moment |ˈmōmənt|
An exact point in time.

Then I decided to read the definition for exact.

exact |igˈzakt|
Not approximated in any way; precise.

Now, I don't know if my brain meant to do this or not,
But the first letter of every word I looked up spells *"Help me."

i won't be the first to admit
that i sleep in terror
for tomorrow is another day closer
to *growing up

make me the night
cold and secretive
as winds that whisper quickly to the trees
before moving to the open fields
of long grass and wild flowers
asleep beneath the moonlight
like you
unaccustomed to the darkness
to the emptiness
that fills the sky so forcefully

leave me to the star-filled sky
to the ever present moon
circling behind greyed clouds
for it is here that i seek refuge

so make me what i am
and leave me to the loneliness of shadows
so i may walk in hand with them once more

This is the last tear I would shed for you
I don't have any tears left in me anymore
The depths of my pain go beyond crying
Aching and throbbing as I bled

All I wanted was a little kindness
A little compassion, a little acknowledgement
It was a mistake on my part
To even consider you capable of any

You told me  I was worthless
A waste of time, A waste of oxygen
You repeated it like a mantra
Cursing my existence
Until I, too, believed it to be true

You were systematic in your hatred
You abused my body, my mind, my soul
You attacked me incessantly until I shattered
Now an empty, broken vessel of the person I once was

You cannot hurt me any more than this
You've taken all I have and more
I have nothing else to lose
I simply don't care anymore

So I close my eyes, and let go
Of the final breath I had been holding onto
As I welcomed the cold night, the darkness
...


...I hope I've finally made you happy now.