girls like me, we can't make ourselves stay.
i wish i could, i do.
i can't shake the itchy-skin feeling of being here
and i can't help but want to get away.

we have fickle and jealous hearts, girls like me.
we can't trust ourselves to be loved
because we love so changeably.
we're difficult, girls like me.
difficult to love, difficult to fall out of love with.

we're born with anger.
we have all the ghosts and the wisdom our hearts can hold.
i am difficult to please and it's no one's fault but my own
and i get tired of people and i get tired of places
and no matter where i am i always want to leave.

i don't choose to be as restless and as jealous and as jittery as i am,
and i don't choose to feel so old some of the time
and i don't choose to be so guarded, so hypocritical, so abrasive.

girls like me, we are beautiful and strong and ages old -
it has been since the beginning and it will be till the end,
spirits like ours.
we are breakable and irrepressible
afraid and invincible
and we are made to survive things and to know things
and we are made for the wildest of laughter
and we are made for the too-big types of sadness
and we are something to see.

I wish I could tell you
That I'm not in love with you
Oh no my dear this isn't the case
For you see,
I'm infatuated with an over-romantacized version of you
Which only truly exists in my daydreams
And it was not you I wrote sweet nothings about
It was my imaginary version of you
The version that loves me back,
For the real you...
Doesn't feel for me anymore.
So my darling, my first kiss, my first date, first slow dance, first small romance
See you in my daydreams.

ill swallow
my words
ton by ton
and choke
on every
single
one.

perhaps unintentionally
he left a blue service pen
and a tube of chapstick
hidden in the inner pockets
of the coat he gave to me
and all I could do was cry
over lip balm and the
receipt from that teriyaki
place in December, on the
way home, I drove under
25, a heavy heart but two
feet MIA, and I wondered
over and over, over and
over, would anybody, will
anybody love me as much
as he did?

If [fourteen] letters deep
causes me to hold
on to the love I wish to keep,
then let emotions slowly corrode
while I walk down this lonely road.

She told me our love was silent.
Phrases in ink became violent.
I thought me and her would be timeless,
forgot to count to a
month and our time left.

No bitter emotions.
Memories span as far as the ocean.
Loves definition includes never being with the one
you want and if it's so then call [momma] and
tell her that I'm in love.

The sun rises earlier.
Summer is in the distance
and your mind relates to the past
for an instant.

Never will it repeat itself.
Hold on to the memories instead.
Remember them from time to time
and lock them inside my head.

Wondering if these poems for you will ever end
and torturing my thoughts in contemplating
if this is the end of perfect story
or the beginning of a beautiful tragedy.

Divorce my thoughts from your mind
and leave my pitiful memory behind.
Her presence is what I lack
and wondering if there's a way of
winning every minute I had with her back.

I think of you
Every time I reach
For my pack
Fit snugly
In my pocket.
Steal a smoke,
Put it gently
Between my lips
And light it up
Just to take a few
Hits; filling my
Lungs with tainted
Air I wouldn't dare
Wish another
To breathe.

Exhale to the left
So it goes
Along with the
Wind toward
The mountains
And away from
The memory of
You. I remember
How that day
Driving home from
school, windows
Down and a smoke
Between my fingers
Hanging slightly
In the open
Air, when I was
Distracted by the
Sight of your
Car tailing me
All the way home.

Remember how
You kissed me
So tenderly
As to distract
My eyes from
Your hands
Slowly moving
Down my side
Making me
Shiver in anticipation
Expecting more
Like we used to do.
Instead you
Sneak my Spirits
Out of my
Grasp, taking
My crutch away
And all I can ask
For is just
one more.

You kiss me for
A second time.
I say that is
Not what I
Meant and you
Know it.
You smile
And tell me
That's what
Addicts say.
I remember you
Getting out
Of my car and
Break every single
Smoke in the pack,
Finally throwing
Them away and
Look at me.

I don't look
Back. All I hear
Is your voice
Saying words I
Tried to tune
Out but couldn't
Quite get the
Ringing of the
Love I felt when
You finally
Told me I was
Better than this.
I promised I
Would stop and
Your stringing of
Words gave
Me the strength I
Thought I lost
When I first
Started
Killing myself.

Five hundred and eighty-four
Days I stood by my
Word until I broke
And you were no longer
There to pick up
The pieces.
I think of you every time
I reach for a smoke.
No longer keeping
Track of days
Because I have
Been stuck at Day 1
For too long
To know how it felt
To be free from
A crutch I don't
Know how to
Give up.

Or maybe I
Just don't want to
Because every time
I bring that smoke
To my lips to
Take a drag, I feel
Guilt and dread
And no
Self-worth
But
I think of you.

I just want to share my old works. If you like to read one, please just copy the link and paste it on the new tab. Thank you so much. :)

1.) *"She Is My Poetry" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/she-is-my-poetry/

2.) "Only Lonely People Write Poetry" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/only-lonely-people-write-poetry/

3.) "When I'm Making Love With My Poem" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/when-im-making-love-with-my-poem/

4.) "I Am No Poet, Only Poetic" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/i-am-no-poet-only-poetic/

5.) "I DON'T LIKE YOU!" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/i-dont-like-you-4/

6.) "MIRЯORED" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/mirored/

7.) "Spare Me Some of Your Love" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/spare-me-some-of-your-love/

8.) "Patience" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/patience-40/

9.) "My Knees Convey All Of My Solemn Apologies" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/my-knees-convey-all-of-my-solemn-apologies-1/

10.) "i[F] yo[U] [C]an't find a [K]ey for [HATRED]." http://hellopoetry.com/poem/if-you-cant-find-a-key-for-hatred-1/

11.) "Hello Poetry" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/hello-poetry-6/

12.) "FANTASY" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/fantasy-11/

13.) "A Night For Which My Heart Still Remembers" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/a-night-for-which-my-heart-still-remembers/

14.) "Everytime We Kiss" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/everytime-we-kiss/

15.) "a raven" http://hellopoetry.com/poem/a-raven/


*~Will you please tell me which is the best?~