To my best friend:
Thank you, for resisting the constant urge to tell me that I'm stupid to keep choosing him.
I'm sorry, for you always had to see me at my worst; When I'm crying hysterically as my heart is being carved out.

To my brain:
Thank you, for navigating me to the right path- for always reminding me that he's toxic.
I'm sorry for being oblivious to the warnings and unceasingly dissapointing you.

To my heart:
Thank you, for being strong. You still continue to beat, allowing me to live another day, despite the scars inflicted on you.
Im sorry, as aforementioned, you're the victim of my actions. You were shattered to pieces, stabbed by a knife, left with wounds that no amount of time could heal.

To you, the boy who made a large impact in my life:
Thank you, for instilling strength in me, albeit being my biggest weakness. It is because of you that I know, I will not be as foolish. Afterall, what doesn't **** you makes you stronger.
I'm sorry, because you will never find someone who gives a **** about you as much as I do. And when you do realise that, it will be too late- she is already gone.

I've learnt that..
you can miss the memories along with the butterflies fluttering in your stomach
but not the person responsible for them

you can love the idea of a certain someone
yet mistake it as loving him whole-heartedly

you can choose to refuse to give up on your loved one
but
even that determination is invalid when fate does not permit both of you to work out

I've learnt..yet it does not necessarily means that it
gets
any
better

"I love you" I whispered, contented with the knowledge that I am the luckiest woman alive.

"I love you too" he reciprocated with a gentle peck on my cheeks.

yet little did I know that words are merely a combination of different alphabets string together-nothing more. *purely meaningless

The only ray of light
in her world of darkness
took the form of a boy

She ran towards him,
overjoyed for there’s hope for her
She embraced the luminous boy tightly
finding solace in the warmth radiated
thinking that her world will soon be illuminated

Yet eventually,
her skin began scalding
she was drenched in perspiration,
suffering from the unbearable heat
yet she chose to focus on the warmth instead

Soon, she was accustomed to the burning heat
Failing to realise that he is offering her nothing but pain
yet even then,
she holds on..
unable to let go
for she has spend a big part of her life just being with him
A hundred times over,
she’d choose the familiar pain
rather than the cold emptiness of her life in his absence

So how long must you realise dear girl
that you have to be your own sunshine
brightening your life
for even the ray of light
which is once your ray of hope
will eventually burn you

be my adventure buddy
who will push me
out of my comfort zone
hence enabling me to witness
the beauty of the world
in which I have been oblivious to.

be the brave soul
who understands that
I want the wind to hug me,
the crisp air to fill my lungs;
That I'm just a teenager
with wanderlust,
not wanting to be tied down
by commitments.

He'll nod in agreement
when I say that
if we were meant to be, it'll happen.
(Afterall, true love is always tied with patience)
He'll understand that for now,
we all have to learn to love life,
love ourselves
before loving someone else.

he'll always smile,
he'll waits,
he's out there.