ardnaxela

ardnaxela May 2021

I know
all this crying is beneath me
But i just feel
like you want to leave me
and you’re too afraid
to show it
You don’t want to
be that *******
who leaves their girlfriend
while she’s showing.

I get it.
It’s okay if
you don’t love me
anymore
but
what hurts more
is all the guessing.

ardnaxela Mar 2021

With You Always, A Thing of persistence.

The significance of memories

is something profound

                            and intricate.

Through memories do we achieve immortality,
thus through the holders of memories
do we create the essence
of everlasting;

                                Loss

emerges as a facet of coping with sudden change,

Lost
loved ones...
valuables...
   time...
     opportunities.
but we can appreciate the silent endeavor
to generate everlasting existence

I asked my granddad to speak to me and this is what he gave me <3 4:30 am

ardnaxela Mar 2021

Be.

Honestly
I feel like an Empress boo.

Divine iterations
of existence, unique...
And I truly hope these
expressions
make a good impression on you,
I do
not always know how things
will turn out
Often times I find
myself
stalled; consumed with doubt
So if you could,
Be patient please.
Things are deeper than they seem.
There’s more to me than you can really see;
although what I share
is limited
to the confines of a square
Boxed In
is one thing I could never Be
And so world, here’s to me
And here’s to Being
Infinitely
Free.

I plan on using this as a caption on one of my IG photos..

#socialbutterfly #socialite #extroverted #introvert

ardnaxela Dec 2020

So Laugh Today.

Because when the fire comes
there is no
                  resurrection;
only demolition and decay.

If you are in its path
when the fire comes,
trust me.
There is no turning back.

   You must face the heat
that you think you seek.
   How long did you play?
   How long did you dance in the flames
   before you realized they too
would embrace
                You
And make a mockery of all those silly games..

Why is it so fun playing with fire? Seriously.

ardnaxela Dec 2020

Khaleesi.

I think it's more hurtful because now
I know I was never heard and
the words I said
didn't really mean much.
Seems you had your own idea
in your head
about who I really was and
handled me as such.
Made a mistake, no doubt.
But really we both did.
But it's worse because I'm a woman -
I guess -
That's what I get
for being so naïve again;
More fantasies to undream,
more feelings to forget.

12-9-20

ardnaxela Oct 2020

You should(n't) be here.

Today
I take a trip
Where my wild thoughts play..
A frolic frilling in
my mental while in
the physical I lay
Calm and collected is
subjective; cool
Serene as it may seem -
those moments harvest
an energy,
a need
for my little monsters
to be
free
Feisty
day dreams from yesterday -
Feisty
ideas released
like forgotten beasts
waiting
to be unleashed and
prey
on these precious lands
Of nothing
Praying hands sent up
in ambiguity
Where silence is the King.
Creativity lives
in a jungle place
Present yet
Far removed
from time and
Space.

ardnaxela Oct 2020

Strawberry Applesauce.

Beads of pink burrow
in her teeth
Memories of
a treat sweet
for her tastebuds to keep.