2 am is for the poets who
can't sleep because their
minds are alive with words
for someone who's not there.

for the alcoholics drinking
themselves into amnesia to
forget someone who left them.

2 am is not for the lovers
asleep in each others arms.

It is for the lonely, the ones
who are in love with the loved
but are not loved in return.

2:36 am
a.s.

So many days
I stare into wandering space,
Wondering how I let myself get here…

How could I let you in:
Energy so mangled and searching
For someone like me,
To drown away everything that you were:

It was a lie,
Really, I was a graveyard for you:
To lay down your sins
Never let me in, and still somehow…

You think I won
taking the bare minimum
scraping by each day hoping
you would stop causing me pain.

Its true,
Loving you was suffering, like running a little hamster wheel
tripping, exhausted and yet
It was only for you to gain…
It was all a game.

All said and done,
I dont feel anything for you
I dont know why i did it
the only thing i know is

I'm ashamed to have loved someone like you.

a.wild

Black Laces
and empty hearts,
drop
and stop
to realize your potential
I love you
Don't be afraid

a.s.

amongst the pains
burning up and down my spine
your heart reeks of darkness
like a volcano ready to burst
each living day, each loving girl
building on a mountain of ash
you don’t know what love is
corrupting souls, collecting wounds
how is it you feel, this broken chest
is fit for falling hearts?
when exposed all the fury
melts away at them
grasping, fighting for survival
when all in the end, on your terms
burns them alive

The thirst is real,
it’s a desert out in the real world.
Most want more,
though identifying selfishness,
does not affect this society.
Almost everyone wants a full cup
and it will most likely get filled to the rim,

Then spill.

a.s.

I sleep in the clouds, dream in the sky,
I'll keep dreaming as life passes me by,
I think my dreams keep me sane,
I dream of happiness, a life without pain,
some people say I'm stuck in this place,
and I'll never go anywhere,
but in my dreams I've already been there,
I know some day I'll have to wake up,
but I feel the real world is more like a nightmare,
I'm safe in my closed eye wonderland,
this poem goes to all the dreamers that understand,
no matter what they say...
keep your dreams but don't dream your life away.

a.s.

My toes
shake
at the sound
of your
name

a.s.

After all was lost
I thought of you again
your voice played
somber melodies
and triggered memories
of falling into your arms
I woke up cold and idle
cause I've lost your aesthetic
somber lullabies
and it was beautifully heartbreaking


a.s.

She's so young
and with her pale
blue eyes she
blinks at a life
containing only
melancholy.

To be completely honest,
I'm not even surprised anymore.
Because I see it too often.  
I hear it so much.
I feel it all the time.
And when you show me
Your glitches
And cracks
And loose strings.
My breath no longer skips with
Lack of expectation.
But only becomes
Heavier.
It's become so common that
We no longer wonder
Who else's cheeks have been bitten so
That blood pours over our teeth.
And I wonder who's bitten deepest,
Along with the uneasy expectations
We hold with the future.

a.s.

I have fought fear
like a crippling boxer
sweat dripping from my nose
and the physical rumble of my knees giving out
so tired
of the continuous swings and punches
without leading to defeat
now
blood is pouring down my teeth
and my fists are bruised
what is the answer
to my crippling fear
I'm on the ground
at its mercy
is it simply

you cannot let fear get to you?

From left to right
My eyes get tired
With witty sayings
And verb phrases
Nothing changes
My eyes are still tired

a.s.

without intention
I miss you very badly
my mind soars through
good memories and
soft kisses
but
pain circulates in my chest
knowing that
no matter what
if we dwell on the past
there is no way we can love
in the future

a.s.

Children are nicer than adults
Animals are nicer than children
You say that thinking that way
I have to claim
That the closest to my heart is
Protozoan paramecium

So what

Paramecium is closer to my heart
Than you, you *******

a.s.

Drinking
Cough Syrup
when you don't
have a cough
is ironic,
because in
reality
you are sicker
than you thought.

I still feel you. The way our hands locked, your sweet, echoing laugh, the goals we once had: unfinished. Your essence lingers on my heart like a tattoo. No matter the time or energy, I still feel you. It’s days like these that make you wonder how many stabs, pokes, and stings we’ve all endured, and if it’ll ever be enough for my love to disappear.

a. wild.

There is unanimity in the presence of
Thought,
Desire,
and life.

There is universality in
Love,
Pain,
and shame.

A consistence of connection,
Proved by sympathy and empathy,
But humans still feel alone.

Our thought is based on what we've known,
Our desire based o how we've grown,
and life is just a thing we do, it's vague.
I know, but it's true.

Love is often unrequited,
Pain divergent in attack,
Shame is often isolating,
and a façade of loneliness is left.

But listen, speak, relate, and think,
Widen your perspective.

We can change the world someday,
Because we're different yet still connected

a.s.

How does it feel
When life doesn't seem real
And you're floating about on your own
Your life seems uncertain
So you draw the curtain
Pretending there's nobody home
Don't theorize
Look in your eyes
They can't tell lies
Though you may disguise what you see
The mirror is free
Song birds are talking
And runners are walking
Be yourself
Be yourself
Be yourself
Be yourself
We need a tutor
So we built a computer
And programed ourselves not to see
The truth and the lying
The dead and the dying
A silent majority
Don't theorize
Look in your eyes
Are they telling lies
The ones that they learn on T.V.
What a way to be free
Be yourself
Be yourself
Then you can free yourself
Free yourself
See yourself
Then you can see yourself
Be yourself


a.s.

In the beginning it was hell
you couldn't tell
that our existence wasn't yet stale
but actually pale by comparison
thought never to combat again.
bang goes the earth
never to be the same again
Changed again
astranged again to the new upright walking beings
as different as it seems
it's still the same
burried secrets that still remain
and we learn to sustain
never knowing that we are the bane
of our beatutiful earth
not aware of its worth
consuming its girth
as time runs out we start to dectect
our selfishness and neglect
for the very thing we were made to protect.

as the earth deals with its adversity
we decrease our carcinogenicity
start respecting our maternity
but time can only heal the relationship of earth and humanity

a.s.

This is for all the people
who believe in pure sorrow,
and drink to stay awake,
and deal so fully with heartbreak,
the people who feel they've failed,
but
are so in love with the world,
that they forget about themselves,
and stand back
until everyone has gone by,
and you suddenly feel comfortable
walking around
once everyone disappears.
This is for the lonely,
but are okay with it,  
the people who are so in love with the loved,
the people who write,
sing,
and dance,
but don't let anyone see it
and walk away only to find themselves
within an abyss of themselves,
caught up in failures,
and wishes,
and eventually you fall
and it'll hurt,
it'll hurt so badly,
but only because it means
something.

a.s.

I have felt powers of healing
and words vibrating to your core
felt the conscious I love you
from my higher self
why is spirituality
not taken seriously

I have given all my generosity
to you
so why do you think you love me
more

a.s

We all have golden hearts
Locked within us like treasure
In a chest.
Yet we hide these chests
Deep in our bodies, minds, souls
And we search for these treasures
By making x-marks on our skin
Pouring blood out
In search for our small
Golden hearts.

a.s.

If you
Don't do what you love
Life will be
Troublesome.

a.s.

when I was eight
my mother told me
honey, you will be a heartbreaker
and after my modest attempts to disbelieve her
it's ten years later and
my mother's silky, stabbing words
came to greet me again
to say
yes, honey. sometimes that's the way it is
and all I could do was
say
Okay

a.s.

only those who are compassionate
find properity

a.s

Hey you,
I love you.
And your
Fascination
In Pink floyd.*

a.s.

I woke up to orange skies
took a **** to clean my demise
drank a tea to open my third eye
pipe up
head down
eyes are pink
mind is black
I turn my back
trust you're not a shmuck
let the world soak you up

even when my mouth is dry
life's a breeze when you're high

a.s.

How can I
sleep,
If I don't have
Dreams?
I just have
nightmares.*

a.s.

I wish more
People cared
about earth
As much as
they cared about
Who they believe
created it.*

a.s.

I am not depressed.
I can still smile at pretty things
And laugh when jokes are funny
I can still talk to people.
And enjoy nice days.

But when I go inside,
When I'm alone,
There's something broken.
And I fall into sadness so sweet
That it engulfs me.
And the tears always fall
When I'm falling asleep.
And I miss something
That doesn't exist.

I am not depressed.
I've just been sad for a while.
But I can still find the peace.
And smile.*

a.s.

I wish I didn’t miss you
Not because you’re bad
Or you hurt me too badly
But because I loved you
Unconditionally
And failed
At my assertion

And now
The waters run deep
my heart is thriving
And I just wish
You could see it

amongst the pains
burning up and down my spine
your heart reeks of darkness
like a volcano ready to burst
each living day, each loving girl
building on a mountain of ash
you don’t know what love is
corrupting souls, collecting wounds
how is it you feel, this broken chest
is fit for falling hearts?
when exposed all the fury
melts away at them
grasping, fighting for survival
when all in the end, on your terms
burns them alive

you can paint these emotions
write the words that shake your soul
tell the bold, gruesome details
in colors and phases,
mediums to help embrace
The pain you feel, the stress you steal
from your own consciousness
To make art?
but **** that
why can’t it be so simple
that I, yes, am the art.
it’s my life that I made to start
and like art, i am a work in progress
trying to process life’s questions.
so like these poems or those paintings
They are a piece of me, like an arm or leg
chopped from my soul, taken by ghouls
And even with a little part that of me
…
I can’t seem to love myself
like I would a piece of art

To spend my spare time
making tie dye shirts,
and watching flowers
blow in the wind
is actually fulfilling.

To drive in my van
and draw on the street corners
is actually fun for me.

To play my guitar on the street
for people to listen
and perhaps make their day
is a moment of clarification
that I love what I'm doing.

I like to go to concerts
and really listen to the lyrics.

I like to smell the plants in the breeze
and to plant trees to represent life.

It's really time to stop being sad.
Because this life is meant to do something.
And maybe it's just being a hippie.

a.s.

Maybe
We're all broken
Because we're living
A solitary life of
Who we want to be
Not who we're destined to be

a.s

Meaningless little messages
Sent with giggles
And clicks
Two different lives
Shared with music and pics
Two young souls
Trying to make it
In two different towns
Not wanting to break it
Two sad teenagers
Thousands of miles between
Found a way to keep connection
In a world so extreme

a.s.
7:07p.m.

As she hugged
me even tighter,
I felt a tear stream
down my face.


a.s.

In the brisk of November
with a steady heartbeat
I saw you holding me,
your hands
so cool
so firm.

I sometimes draw
within the shapes your hand makes
I wonder what that would look like now?
Colorful scrambles of
a heart-felt love
inspired by moonlight and smiles,
Not only to realize
your touch grants me comfort
and stability.
my creativity preserved
by the continuous lines and shapes
unseen on your skin.
They say love wont last forever,  

But that will.

a.s.

I took a walk down memory lane
smoking from cans
and hanging with friends so bland
makes you curious of your path
Now I smoke from bongs
and cherish the souls of friends
Every path is different
who is to say what's right?
sympathy and empathy aside
who can truly relate to you?
Your mind is your armor
Your mind is your sheild
Use it to know, use it to feel
Soon there will be no one like us
eyes with hope of revolution
bodies pacing toward the goal
I'm with you
There is no reason to be afraid

I have known the taste of salt water,
and the smell of decaying forests,
and the cracks in hundreds of sidewalks,
I have loved the gas petal,
and the airport concourse,
and the ever-changing time zones.
In all of these places,
I've found a home in not having one,
ready to admit,
you'll never catch up.

a.s.

The world seems
painted in a
mask of blue

A deafening
thick of
swelling silence

My wandering
heart drowned by
thoughts of you

A timeless love
to sooth the
sea's violence

a.s