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cozy april Jan 2014
2 am is for the poets who
can't sleep because their
minds are alive with words
for someone who's not there.

for the alcoholics drinking
themselves into amnesia to
forget someone who left them.

2 am is not for the lovers
asleep in each others arms.

It is for the lonely, the ones
who are in love with the loved
but are not loved in return.

2:36 am
Can't sleep.
cozy april Dec 2016
Black Laces
and empty hearts,
and stop
to realize your potential
I love you
Don't be afraid

cozy april Jul 2014
The thirst is real,
it’s a desert out in the real world.
Most want more,
though identifying selfishness,
does not affect this society.
Almost everyone wants a full cup
and it will most likely get filled to the rim,

Then spill.

cozy april Aug 2014
I sleep in the clouds, dream in the sky,
I'll keep dreaming as life passes me by,
I think my dreams keep me sane,
I dream of happiness, a life without pain,
some people say I'm stuck in this place,
and I'll never go anywhere,
but in my dreams I've already been there,
I know some day I'll have to wake up,
but I feel the real world is more like a nightmare,
I'm safe in my closed eye wonderland,
this poem goes to all the dreamers that understand,
no matter what they say...
keep your dreams but don't dream your life away.

cozy april Oct 2013
Nobody is born
With demons already living
It takes time
For them to fester
Inside your mind
Until they get into
Your imagination
Where they master
The art of sadness
To perfection

cozy april Jul 2018
My toes
at the sound
of your

cozy april May 2014
After all was lost
I thought of you again
your voice played
somber melodies
and triggered memories
of falling into your arms
I woke up cold and idle
cause I've lost your aesthetic
somber lullabies
and it was beautifully heartbreaking

cozy april Mar 2014
She's so young
and with her pale
blue eyes she
blinks at a life
containing only
I love you Hannah. Get better.
cozy april Feb 2014
To be completely honest,
I'm not even surprised anymore.
Because I see it too often.  
I hear it so much.
I feel it all the time.
And when you show me
Your glitches
And cracks
And loose strings.
My breath no longer skips with
Lack of expectation.
But only becomes
It's become so common that
We no longer wonder
Who else's cheeks have been bitten so
That blood pours over our teeth.
And I wonder who's bitten deepest,
Along with the uneasy expectations
We hold with the future.

I've been biting my inside cheeks a lot a guess.
cozy april Jul 2018
I have fought fear
like a crippling boxer
sweat dripping from my nose
and the physical rumble of my knees giving out
so tired
of the continuous swings and punches
without leading to defeat
blood is pouring down my teeth
and my fists are bruised
what is the answer
to my crippling fear
I'm on the ground
at its mercy
is it simply

you cannot let fear get to you?
cozy april Dec 2013
From left to right
My eyes get tired
With witty sayings
And verb phrases
Nothing changes
My eyes are still tired

cozy april Aug 2018
without intention
I miss you very badly
my mind soars through
good memories and
soft kisses
pain circulates in my chest
knowing that
no matter what
if we dwell on the past
there is no way we can love
in the future

sometimes change is really hard
cozy april Mar 2014
Isn't it scary how fast
that song is over,
or how quickly
the school year goes
Doesn't it scare you
how when senior year
is over
all your friends will be
at their dream college
and i'll be at mine
but i'm sorry if i
want to stay
with my best friends
till the end of time
but that's just not how
the world works

cozy april May 2014
Children are nicer than adults
Animals are nicer than children
You say that thinking that way
I have to claim
That the closest to my heart is
Protozoan paramecium

So what

Paramecium is closer to my heart
Than you, you *******

To the peeps who act like they know me
cozy april Mar 2014
Cough Syrup
when you don't
have a cough
is ironic,
because in
you are sicker
than you thought.
cozy april Jul 2014
There is unanimity in the presence of
and life.

There is universality in
and shame.

A consistence of connection,
Proved by sympathy and empathy,
But humans still feel alone.

Our thought is based on what we've known,
Our desire based o how we've grown,
and life is just a thing we do, it's vague.
I know, but it's true.

Love is often unrequited,
Pain divergent in attack,
Shame is often isolating,
and a façade of loneliness is left.

But listen, speak, relate, and think,
Widen your perspective.

We can change the world someday,
Because we're different yet still connected

we can change the world someday
cozy april May 2014
How does it feel
When life doesn't seem real
And you're floating about on your own
Your life seems uncertain
So you draw the curtain
Pretending there's nobody home
Don't theorize
Look in your eyes
They can't tell lies
Though you may disguise what you see
The mirror is free
Song birds are talking
And runners are walking
Be yourself
Be yourself
Be yourself
Be yourself
We need a tutor
So we built a computer
And programed ourselves not to see
The truth and the lying
The dead and the dying
A silent majority
Don't theorize
Look in your eyes
Are they telling lies
The ones that they learn on T.V.
What a way to be free
Be yourself
Be yourself
Then you can free yourself
Free yourself
See yourself
Then you can see yourself
Be yourself

cozy april Jun 2015
In the beginning it was hell
you couldn't tell
that our existence wasn't yet stale
but actually pale by comparison
thought never to combat again.
bang goes the earth
never to be the same again
Changed again
astranged again to the new upright walking beings
as different as it seems
it's still the same
burried secrets that still remain
and we learn to sustain
never knowing that we are the bane
of our beatutiful earth
not aware of its worth
consuming its girth
as time runs out we start to dectect
our selfishness and neglect
for the very thing we were made to protect.

as the earth deals with its adversity
we decrease our carcinogenicity
start respecting our maternity
but time can only heal the relationship of earth and humanity

cozy april Jul 2016
This is for all the people
who believe in pure sorrow,
and drink to stay awake,
and deal so fully with heartbreak,
the people who feel they've failed,
are so in love with the world,
that they forget about themselves,
and stand back
until everyone has gone by,
and you suddenly feel comfortable
walking around
once everyone disappears.
This is for the lonely,
but are okay with it,  
the people who are so in love with the loved,
the people who write,
and dance,
but don't let anyone see it
and walk away only to find themselves
within an abyss of themselves,
caught up in failures,
and wishes,
and eventually you fall
and it'll hurt,
it'll hurt so badly,
but only because it means

cozy april Jul 2018
I have felt powers of healing
and words vibrating to your core
felt the conscious I love you
from my higher self
why is spirituality
not taken seriously

I have given all my generosity
to you
so why do you think you love me

cozy april Nov 2013
We all have golden hearts
Locked within us like treasure
In a chest.
Yet we hide these chests
Deep in our bodies, minds, souls
And we search for these treasures
By making x-marks on our skin
Pouring blood out
In search for our small
Golden hearts.

cozy april Jan 2014
If you
Don't do what you love
Life will be

cozy april Jul 2018
when I was eight
my mother told me
honey, you will be a heartbreaker
and after my modest attempts to disbelieve her
it's ten years later and
my mother's silky, stabbing words
came to greet me again
to say
yes, honey. sometimes that's the way it is
and all I could do was

cozy april Nov 2013
If we were all
And blind
We would spend less time
Judging others
For what they've done.

cozy april Jul 2018
only those who are compassionate
find properity

Realizing that love is the only answer to conflict, I hope this finds you well.
cozy april Nov 2013
Hey you,
I love you.
And your
In Pink floyd.*

cozy april Jul 2018
I woke up to orange skies
took a **** to clean my demise
drank a tea to open my third eye
pipe up
head down
eyes are pink
mind is black
I turn my back
trust you're not a shmuck
let the world soak you up

even when my mouth is dry
life's a breeze when you're high

will probably edit more later
cozy april Jan 2014
And boy,

cozy april Mar 2014
How can I
If I don't have
I just have

cozy april Mar 2014
I love that
thing you do,
where you put
my hands on
my chest
to feel my own
heart beat,
You like to
remind me
I'm alive,
makes me feel
as if I haven't
been alive my
whole life,
your love
and I finally
feel like I'm
That my heart
is beating,
Like I'm human.

cozy april Nov 2013
I wish more
People cared
about earth
As much as
they cared about
Who they believe
created it.*

cozy april Feb 2014
I am not depressed.
I can still smile at pretty things
And laugh when jokes are funny
I can still talk to people.
And enjoy nice days.

But when I go inside,
When I'm alone,
There's something broken.
And I fall into sadness so sweet
That it engulfs me.
And the tears always fall
When I'm falling asleep.
And I miss something
That doesn't exist.

I am not depressed.
I've just been sad for a while.
But I can still find the peace.
And smile.*

cozy april May 2019
I wish I didn’t miss you
Not because you’re bad
Or you hurt me too badly
But because I loved you
And failed
At my assertion

And now
The waters run deep
my heart is thriving
And I just wish
You could see it
cozy april May 2020
amongst the pains
burning up and down my spine
your heart reeks of darkness
like a volcano ready to burst
each living day, each loving girl
building on a mountain of ash
you don’t know what love is
corrupting souls, collecting wounds
how is it you feel, this broken chest
is fit for falling hearts?
when exposed all the fury
melts away at them
grasping, fighting for survival
when all in the end, on your terms
burns them alive
for the man that was my twin flame
cozy april Oct 2013
Dear me,
Stop getting angry at things that aren't worth
the energy of staying angry.
Take a shower.
Take five showers.
Hell, take ten showers if you want to.
Stay in bed all day and do nothing!
Watch ****** romantic movies and cry your heart out.
Don't hold yourself in because you think you're "too strong".
Stay outside all day, and make shapes in clouds.
Wake up in the morning with determination
to fall in love with your city all over again.
Find cafes and independent book stores you've never been to before.
Pretend you're a tourist and take photographs.
Stay out all night.
Take better care of yourself April.
You deserve it.

Found this note I wrote to myself when i was depressed this summer. Wrote it in poem form.
cozy april Jan 2014
Books are a great escape,
From the world's clutches,
and heartbreak.
And I walk,
Thinking of the words
within a novel I just read,
How they move me,
and remind me of the vary
places I had been in a short time ago.
The thoughts
distract me from
having to spend time with a broken family.
Still walking,
I look down at my shoes,
baffled by how worn out they are,
even though they were bought only 3 weeks before.
Maybe my shoes are like my heart,
They're so decrepit,
so tired of feeling the constant weight of
laughing in the morning,
and the weeping at night,
Their worn from a continuous nightmare
of pressure.
But that,
Is something
The books don't tell you.

Feeling this today.
cozy april Mar 2014
To spend my spare time
making tie dye shirts,
and watching flowers
blow in the wind
is actually fulfilling.

To drive in my van
and draw on the street corners
is actually fun for me.

To play my guitar on the street
for people to listen
and perhaps make their day
is a moment of clarification
that I love what I'm doing.

I like to go to concerts
and really listen to the lyrics.

I like to smell the plants in the breeze
and to plant trees to represent life.

It's really time to stop being sad.
Because this life is meant to do something.
And maybe it's just being a hippie.

cozy april Oct 2013
We're all broken
Because we're living
A solitary life of
Who we want to be
Not who we're destined to be

cozy april Nov 2013
Meaningless little messages
Sent with giggles
And clicks
Two different lives
Shared with music and pics
Two young souls
Trying to make it
In two different towns
Not wanting to break it
Two sad teenagers
Thousands of miles between
Found a way to keep connection
In a world so extreme

For my friend Lila in Cancun.~
cozy april Apr 2014
As she hugged
me even tighter,
I felt a tear stream
down my face.

I'm just sad and my mom gave me a hug.
cozy april Dec 2016
In the brisk of November
with a steady heartbeat
I saw you holding me,
your hands
so cool
so firm.

I sometimes draw
within the shapes your hand makes
I wonder what that would look like now?
Colorful scrambles of
a heart-felt love
inspired by moonlight and smiles,
Not only to realize
your touch grants me comfort
and stability.
my creativity preserved
by the continuous lines and shapes
unseen on your skin.
They say love wont last forever,  

But that will.

for my love
cozy april Oct 2013
I haven't been able
To think clearly
Fir the past days
I've come to the understanding
That you've indulged yourself
In my membranes
Covering yourself in my mind
Like a dark blanket
I am possessed by your beauty
Baffled by your ignorance
And completely
Fantasized by your willingness
To love me

For Adam.~
cozy april Jul 2018
I walked along the soft beach
my mind alive with words for you
but you weren't there
I could only tell the smooth waves
glistening in light teal
the swelling love that storms within me
I hummed an old melody while
the starry sky tugged my chin
to look above me

I realize

Loneliness in nature
is nonexistent
the waves and the stars
grant me knowledge
and perspective
The voice of the night
serenades me
with warmth and care
my one true love
mother nature
reminds me that
her love is endless
I'm not alone
and with a gentle whisper
of the wind
she says
you are infinite

in times of hurt and contemplation, nature is always there for you
cozy april Jul 2018
I took a walk down memory lane
smoking from cans
and hanging with friends so bland
makes you curious of your path
Now I smoke from bongs
and cherish the souls of friends
Every path is different
who is to say what's right?
sympathy and empathy aside
who can truly relate to you?
Your mind is your armor
Your mind is your sheild
Use it to know, use it to feel
Soon there will be no one like us
eyes with hope of revolution
bodies pacing toward the goal
I'm with you
There is no reason to be afraid
notes on youth & revolution
cozy april Jul 2014
I have known the taste of salt water,
and the smell of decaying forests,
and the cracks in hundreds of sidewalks,
I have loved the gas petal,
and the airport concourse,
and the ever-changing time zones.
In all of these places,
I've found a home in not having one,
ready to admit,
you'll never catch up.

too lovely, my friends
cozy april May 2014
The world seems
painted in a
mask of blue

A deafening
thick of
swelling silence

My wandering
heart drowned by
thoughts of you

A timeless love
to sooth the
sea's violence

cozy april Jan 2014
I gave you a book
filled with lies
and called it an

The binding fell
apart when I
opened my mouth
and forgot

what had
been written.

cozy april Feb 2014
There is only
so much room
in your life.
Chances are,
if someone is
in your past,
they deserve to be there.

cozy april Jul 2014
In secret
Words prepare dialogue transporting emotions like pilots
With no mercy words turn around and get messy
Placing Vaseline on dry throats speaking levy
Lips on skateboards sniffing the ground for reality’s ride
Electrifying plots against blurry words with
no physical basic thoughts thinking dialogue cravings
Untidy tiding plots buried in baritones hurried to hire imaginary thoughts
With no mercy things get messy

Stainless inks get messy

Poetry comes in speed bumps
Never the less poetry comes in speeds
Bumping speed bumps

Bump all slumps
Bluffing word bumps
Bump all stunts
Puff them hard till words provoke gumboot sounds        
Bump all ink pumps and thirsty thumbs                                                        
Speed bump conclusions jumping resolutions around
words spoken in gibberish gigabytes per seconds smelling leverage
Amplifying televised revolution on repetition far from average
Paralyze those walking eyes
Bumping rhythms
Dusty broken chests serving overcrowded greeting lines
On solo mode
Flirtalicious solo chaotic modes                                                            ­
Bumb connections around chairs warmed up by bums
Speaking the same womb and rhythms

Brothers and sisters chained up in pairs and bums
enslaved by messy word poetry speed-bumbs
Words get messy with no mercy on lip bumps

Those messy words camp behind bushy brains
Rail track through lips with no vibrating mercy veins                                              
Affiliate with true bones
Crossbones carrying history's forgotten side bums
Instrumental bones
Stinking hip hop bums speed flossing word stunts        
Words dig up chaos with no mercy                  

Armed with no rounds
Pounds stolen before two rounds
Sheriffs secretly scared of their own uniform sounds
Shortlisted words saving society's bums
Words are just messy and profound

written a few weeks back
cozy april Mar 2014
It's quite sad
how people make promises
about the future
because they have no idea
what happens in the future

People say things like
I will always love you
I will always be here for you
And things will get better

I promise

It's 6 months later
and you don't love me
You aren't here for me
and things haven't gotten any better
this isn't toward anyone in specific
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