My voice stopped working
My stomach was in knots
My mind was unsure
Should I breathe or should I die?
The doctors talked to me
They thought there words would change my mind
They had me draw and color
I just wasted there time
You were gone, I never could move on

Do you think I'm smart
I carry a pen and novel around
but do you really trust me
Do you think I'm pretty
luscious blond locks of hair curl around my face
but do you really believe what you see
Do you think I'm nice
I don't hesitate to give you my notes
but do you really understand why

I like to write
Bottling up your emotions
is like holding poison in your throat
you can only hold on for so long
till
the liquid passes
you lose control
Do you ever wonder what the emotions you store inside do?
Are they tearing flesh to flesh
or are they cleaning every ounce of your regret
I bet if you swallow poison you'll finally get
why I let you read the things I write

Its so daunting
To have eyes lock on your own
Your natural color,
your natural being
shown under bright lights
Some stars shine
others seem to fade
Some enlarge
others shrink
When the light is cast downward
Do you shine or do you shrink?

Where are you Madeleine?
Fiery red eyes
Giant torso wrapped in gauze
Horns jade green
We sit upon the shoulders
Why are you gone Madeleine?
Eyes leak no tears
Torso grumbles, blocked by the heavy material
Horns camouflage all we have
We count the minutes that pass by
Will I ever see you again my sister Madeleine?

I write in circles
happiness in the start
by the middle my words are a bore
why do you even read my poems
why do you care?
now were at the end
and tears are in your eyes
You quiver
you sniffle,
are my words
are my thoughts
the devil?
seconds pass
smiles
you say that was beautiful
what did I miss?
How could you be happy about this?