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AprilDawn Feb 2017
Not winter
Not spring
just a crazy weather thing
Daffodils  already playing
show and tell
early pollen
makes my eyes swell
riddles still a plenty
will next month
bring
some sneaky snow
in its wake
seems only the heavens
know
for goodness sake
Weird weather  winter  this  year
AprilDawn Feb 2017
with yesterday’s fruits  
suspended
through  time
and space
a little bit of this
a dash of that
well procrastinated
    till
escaping the mold
is mandatory  
with just
a little
wiggle
ok  , so I was thinking about  how long  things in life sometimes can take when you are waiting , and then while eating a jello salad I started to think  about this  poem...
AprilDawn Feb 2017
can't really reach You
  anymore
everything is
disappearing
our old arguments
as well
bits
just  drop away
everyday
naked fear left behind
strangling your mind
normality already
a thing of the past
I  am not sure
when it happened
crept up slow and stealthy
this drawn out
goodbye
not knowing
when my cameo role
in your heart
will fade away
to nothing
Another one about watching my Mama fade away  , this was actually the first one I wrote  a few months back. My Mom and I  didn't always see eye to eye  all my life  .She  loved me in her own way . I am trying to remember that  instead of all the   issues....
AprilDawn Feb 2017
so many tables  
stacked with catalogs
and coffee cups
our long discussions  
cluttered  with memories  
and
relatives
long renting spaces
underground
potential plans made
like  guest beds in our minds  
favorite tv shows
devouring  our  
afternoons and evenings
together  
dotted  with  
occasional power
struggles
minds at odds
a generational
dissonance
the  backdrop  
for  the need
to leave  the nest
again
freedom I sought
and liberty
was gained
now
flash forward
less than a decade
later
and you
are wrapped
  in a mere
flesh shell of existence
no longer engaged
in this world
with anything
but breath  
and  discomfort
thankful
for tender mercies
am I
  for you
still remember me
for
now
I have begun to lose my mother to  some form of dementia over the past 2 years .I have to relive old conversations from years and decades past , because she cannot  actually discuss anything really anymore  . She is   repetitive and circular in nature now and short term memory is  getting worse. She  was so sharp witted .We had a rough mother -daughter relationship. She does love me , and I am an only child.My father  takes care of her currently   and they  live  several states away from me .She hardly laughs anymore.It is sad for us all to see her disappearing.
AprilDawn Dec 2016
Really
the longer you live
the more you shift between
the what is and what was
sometimes the transitions
are smoother than others
today I found myself
within a few layers
of my former life
interwoven
with my current experience
always a bittersweet mixture
somewhere half way
between gratefulness
with a touch of regret
and a modicum of relief
that so many frayed edges
were smoothed enough
to make it all stay together
for the most part
not sure where tomorrow is going
but right here, right now
just hanging in there
and not sure
how long the thread
is…
My life and times
AprilDawn Dec 2016
quilt traps
my leaden legs
every morning
cell phone alarm signals
time for release
breathe, just breathe
roll
to my diversion
look over at him
and smile
drink down
my new tea mug
half empty or is it
half full
difference lies in the next  
bitter pain med
sliding down my throat
sweet deliverance
for a few hours a pop
please tell me
price paid in full
for still being around
Stream of Consciousness Ramblings
Created: 2009-01-09 11:25:00 AM
In November of  2008  I was in a bad car accident with my daughter that left me  with multiple hip fractures  and  dealing with pain, medication and rehabilitation for a few months after. Even after I  was released to go home in late December 2008, I was dependent upon help from my  fiancé . I slept  in a  hospital bed, had an appliance that went into my body  called a pelvic fixator  and open wounds that needed tending and a ***** . Wheelchair  bound for a more weeks  with nurse visits and forced to stay inside  with  a steady diet of Percocets that  kept my pain levels down . I was  nearly fully healed  a few more  months later .This was the one poem I wrote on a blog   under  medication  on MySpace  .They  had  taken off the blogs  about 5 years ago  and MySpace was  finally  able to  send me my old blogs just recently .I had not made a back up of the poem, so it was lost to me for  several years .I remember writing this  with a foggy brain .
AprilDawn Nov 2016
afternoon
under heavy laden
branches
ladders kept steady
with loving hands
watchful eyes
on
little helpers
filling baskets
with only the ripest
of fruits
too sour for nibbling
just perfect
for jelly jars
and visions
of sugar plums
spread  on fresh baked bread
A humid summer day endeavor in 2008 , with  a gentleman who passed away  in July 2015.One of the ways I like to keep  memories alive .
Written  July 2016
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