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May 2014 · 344
Dirty little secret
Eyes reflect with ashen glow
all the things you don't want to know
Truth will set you free they say
sometimes I seek ignorance,
bliss just one more day
I can march across mountains
my burdens bare for all to know
I'll never be
locked down
sheltered
hidden
veiled
I can ring my bells of truth
echoing through the town
I'll never be
silenced
gagged
muted
bound
I am precise
unadulterated
transparent
real and true
forever laid bare
authenticity shines through
*I will never be someone's shame
Apr 2014 · 351
36 years true
Dearest
Real-est
Truest
The ones who mean the most
Missing a few
And my heart breaks for that
But love the ones who
Love me back
Perfect birthday gift!  Thanks ladies !!  Made all the monsters go away for a little while.
Subtitle: Unexpected visitors

Entanglement states that two particles that have become linked in a special way can be separated to any distance-even opposite ends of the universe-and a change in one particle will be immediately reflected in the other. (M. Ireland)

Seems when my lids are shut tight
that's when my mind's eye cracks open
Clarity within the fog.....
I see a sweet little cottage
     cozy and quaint
just like a stage set for
secrets.
My approach reveals an open door
     open mind
          open heart.
There's snow blanketing the ground....
at least one representation of the
real world.
I step through the door to find
a most unexpected surprise.....
     the butterflies in my stomach emerge from dormancy
     our lips electrified
     magnetic.
This time we both try to fight it
Try* being the key word.
Off stage
     off set
           off site
I know another really important person is there.
I want to see him more
but I can't pull myself away.
He is a memory.
He has yet to visit.
He makes me feel safe
but the butterflies go back to sleep when I step away from
you.
Possibility of anything inherent in dreams......
When the phone rings
                and when it doesn't.
Parking lot drive-by's
                bars...hotels....gas stations....public parks.....
Lost library books
                and lost teeth.
Going to the grocery store or
               running out of Nutella......
A funeral
               and a birthday party.
Broken dishes
               and  a steady diet of broken promises.
Mar 2014 · 2.2k
mutual exclusion
healing:

verb (used with object)
1. to make healthy, whole, or sound; restore to health; free from ailment.
2. to bring to an end or conclusion, as conflicts between people or groups, usually with the strong implication of restoring former amity; settle; reconcile: They tried to heal the rift between them but were unsuccessful.  
3. to free from evil; cleanse; purify: to heal the soul.  

verb (used without object)
4. to effect a cure.
5. (of a wound, broken bone, etc.) to become whole or sound; mend; get well (often followed by up  or over  ).




reconciliation:


verb (used with object), rec·on·ciled, rec·on·cil·ing.  
1. to cause (a person) to accept or be resigned to something not desired: He was reconciled to his fate.  
2. to win over to friendliness; cause to become amicable: to reconcile hostile persons.  
3. to compose or settle (a quarrel, dispute, etc.).
4. to bring into agreement or harmony; make compatible or consistent: to reconcile differing statements; to reconcile accounts.  
5. to reconsecrate (a desecrated church, cemetery, etc.).


The task
painful and cumbersome
is to decide
if both can be.
Mar 2014 · 340
Material makes not the man
I stand in the corner of the room
my gaze resting on scattered piles
worn denim
softest of soft t-shirts
the open closet door offers a display
of no longer needed
suits and ties.
The dresser drawers have been emptied.
Still a smattering of personal objects
strewn as if they don't know
he won't be back to slide on the
ring and watchband.
Time no longer exists for these possessions
until a new somebody
searches for treasure and takes them as their own.
These things constructed of
threads
hooks
silver and gold
paper and ink
a physical representation of a man
but his legacy is not
located here
in this room
in these things.
He lives on in beating hearts
missed everyday with the reminders
strewn about.
Deconstruction of an entire life displayed in piles of stuff....still missing him.
Mar 2014 · 595
Asylum
See Lonely Larry lost in his
******* fantasies
knowing he'll never
not be utterly alone.
Using whoever he can to
forget who he is,
actively ignoring the scars he leaves on them.

There's Twisted Tina, she's hard to miss
her only friends, flies and spiders
she lures them in so sweetly
then perversely plucks their legs and wings
then squeals with delight
watching them suffer.

Hiding beyond,  Wicked Wray
who paces with her vile sashay
refusing to acknowledge
the lives she stole away
pointing fingers, calling names
but it's only her reflections in the mirror
she has to blame.

I see Androgenous Alice
hard to tell if it's she or he
doesn't really matter because
she or he will use whatever
she or he has or doesn't have
to take what she or he wants.

Senseless Sara, watch her run
far and away
with her unibrow furrowed
chasing the demon rabbits
unleashed by her careless couplings
not even worth a word of truth.

The list goes on and on....
Swaggering Stevie
Malevolent Mandy
Cat with the Claws
So many more
banging their heads in the padded room
lost in thier sickness and disgrace.
Mar 2014 · 469
Sensory Shock
I have just one request
     To see the green
     And feel the cool
     To smell the clean
     And hear the rule
     To taste the dream
     And be the fool

The multi-colored mask
creates a scene of social shadings
All the senses mocked
by simple, slight evasions

I have just one demand
     To see the light
     And feel the sun
     To smell the night
     And hear the fun
     To taste the right
     And be the one

I'll place you on the pedestal
and surround you with the gold
But I am only human
with a heart that beats grey cold

I have just one day
     To see
     And to feel
     To smell, hear and taste
     And to be
     Just to be
     Real.
Written nearly 21 years ago.....
Mar 2014 · 1.0k
Feast of Famine
How to forget the unforgettable....

drink
drown
drag

stare
smoke
*****

run
rage
­rant

cry
cuss
clot

Each open mouth whispers with a hiss
".....you can't hide"
Each open mouth begs with abandon
".....fill me up"
The world is filled with empty.
Hungry is a state of mind....
Mar 2014 · 759
Recovering lost soul
Refused to leave me
Couldn't stand the thought of losing me
Turned to the only sub to try to stroke his ego
Disposable blow up dolls
(Some more blown up than others mind you)
Then he says he opened his eyes to the epically perfectly imperfect angel who was flying at his side the whole time
"I can't stand losing you" (thanks Sting)
Mar 2014 · 557
Alex Forrest
Look at poor Alex slumped on the floor.
Preoccupied with her own inferiority, talking to Bob to try to escape the life she hates.
Her incoherent mutterings co-mingle with her dribbling drool.  
Poor, poor Alex living in the shadow of everything she thinks was stolen from her.
Alex has learned to cope through the haze of chemicals and denial as she percieves those flames of hell licking at her to be the warm sun.
Poor, poor Alex.
Always wishing there was something more.
Mar 2014 · 1.7k
Double Standard
Ironic that some would say
I'm not entitled to my feelings or
have the right to express myself....?

Isn't that what poetry is for?

Or art
dance
song
tears
screams and
silence.....?

I will never be mute
and
I honor my
heart
mind and
soul.

Nor would I ever expect it of any of you.
Speech remains fundamentally free last time I checked...
Mar 2014 · 385
Common Ground
I'll take that compliment
my "friend"
as I can see that we agree
on one (and only one) thing....
my superiority
lesson 1: Quotation marks



common symbol in written language to denote the replication or use of words from a source other than self or a time other than the present

at times citations (or footnotes) are utilized to give credit to said source

you may know them as "finger quotes"...
I wouldn't expect everyone to understand ;-)
Mar 2014 · 539
Cut from a finer cloth
My girl is so right
"What difference does it make...?"

One
Ten
Hundreds
Who
What
Where
When
Foe
or
Friend
albeit pretend

No judge here
Any jury selected from
A group of  my peers
With bones comprised of decency
Knows honorable from perverse
I'll just have to work that much harder now that I know that damage and delusion makes some  of them incapable of even the simplest regard for others.  Thanks for the reminder.
Mar 2014 · 405
Breakin the loop
Made the decision
I'm gonna grow down
Sink my roots deeper
Into the ground
Seen too much of life
To let myself drown
Shakin you up
Determined and bound
Got me
Got you
Let's get busy
Let's get found
Mar 2014 · 593
deadly 7even
exquisitely righteous to have the embodiment
of each and every one
standing before me
for all to see
packaged up (I can't say neat and tidy....but all in one place anyway)
it seems reasonable that one person has one or two
but to find them all in one place....
astonishing
I see you

Superbia
Avaritia
Luxuria
Invidia
Gula
Ira
Acedia


they all ring true as they emanate out of you

*we all know what happened to Ursula
I find my recent posts somewhat out of character as I am not a religious type but when the concepts make sense it's hard to ignore....
Mar 2014 · 345
A-muse-ed
I've no time
to cast stones
those that you feel
are simply
a deflection
protecting my world
my truth
from the likes of you
Mar 2014 · 232
It's so obvious
Tis the demons
who want to die
Angelic
The reflection in my eye
I'm so very fortunate
Ah, beautiful truth
such a visceral experience
I give life
I give love
The riches I receive in return
infuse and protect me
A safe haven
for me
in me
My beautiful truth
champions all
truth requires no defensiveness...no cruelty....no justification....no threats ....only pity for those who can't find it
Mar 2014 · 595
Transcended & Divine
Soul
Mind
Heart
Saturated with integrity
So many
Stumbling blocks
Unanticipated perils
Left behind
Overcome
Conquered
Thank you to those of you who share your beauty with me.  My open arms are waiting to welcome you. I  know you know how to find the light.  I'll see you there.  The rest of you....hmmmm...do not matter.
youdon'tdothattosomeoneyousayyoulovebutIguessifyou'realiaryouprob­ablyneverreallylovedheranyway
howwouldyouevenknow?
Mar 2014 · 324
Rattle and Hum
Can't seem to shake
this sense of dread
whips and chains
makin a mess in my head
the voice of the universe
bellows loud and clear
so how is it
that we choose not to hear?
Mar 2014 · 648
SHRIEK
The Sirens might be called the Muses of the lower world, Walter Copland Perry observed: "Their song, though irresistibly sweet, was no less sad than sweet, and lapped both body and soul in a fatal lethargy, the forerunner of death and corruption.".....  The term "siren song" refers to an appeal that is hard to resist but that, if heeded, will lead to a bad conclusion. Later writers have implied that the Sirens were cannibals, based on Circe's description of them "lolling there in their meadow, round them heaps of corpses rotting away, rags of skin shriveling on their bones."*  


you
  may
    as
      well
        stop
          h­iding
        by
      all
    means
  continue
with
  your
    writing
      keep
        trying
          to
        mind-****
      the
    masses
the real you shines through....in every word you write
Mar 2014 · 861
mockery
Oh dc
it appears you have been rendered
speechless
that's alright
Hon'
you don't have anything of value
to say
anyway
Mar 2014 · 259
He found his bliss
His passion floats
on his breathless sigh
"You **** beast.....I can't ever get enough of
you ...."
As his hands try to enter me through my pores
and he wraps himself in my flesh
and he throbs with release
"You take me places I've never been...I finally feel alive" he can barely speak through his gasps of infinite pleasure.
He wants so badly to capture my gaze.....to feel what he never felt with any of them.
He utters in his post glow
"I ache for you every second of every day."
too bad he didn't realize sooner...so much regret for all the time he wasted.
Mar 2014 · 245
Dead to you
You dug through the trash
Searching for something in
The refuse
Now all you want is me
And you will never
Get it

I never lived in the dump you frequent
Mar 2014 · 794
Voyeur
Keep watching you corrupt waste of DNA

Your whole life is wasted trying to be a part of it

So desperate

But you will never be one of the chosen

Always a reject

Protect those cankles
you don't scare me *****...you have no power in this world....there's a lot of filthy creatures with you in the sewer you live in.
Mar 2014 · 329
less than zero
the mirrored shades
were a necessity
he couldn't stand to look into
her soulless eyes
that reflected back
all of his self loathing
and emptiness inside
the tinted windows
also required
to conceal his shame
unspeakable acts
leaving him feeling
encrusted with their filth
You've already proven your worth. Just keep advertising your crimes against others .....
Mar 2014 · 327
10:06 am
Like I said
..... ******* coward.....
Mar 2014 · 456
Abrasive (draft 2) 3/1/14
No matter where you are
                     or where you've been.  
          our time together is
                     still rough spun........

Can't you see the
                    crystal shards
         a black light prism
                    heart's beat prison......?

My voice heard only in
                    black and white
           choked by your
                    unspoken truth..........

Will you ever stop
                    mourning the love
         you turned your back on.....smothered then
                    walked away from.....?

Will I ever feel
                    a pure heart
         beat......flutter......pump
                    al­ive.....?
Mar 2014 · 1.0k
No chance of quarantine
so many she's
the strains of sickness
hoping to stave off the  
infectious bacteria
and avoid the noxious
contagions
they didn't care if they spread
Beware ....the monsters you couldn't quite believe in  do exist....they'll take your gifts and then gluttonously take even more
Mar 2014 · 1.1k
facade
(Haiku)

all around in hell
fakers liars cheating ******
you know who you are
I never thought it possible to have heartache so profound
Mar 2014 · 534
You always put you first
19 years reduced to
Meaninglessness
Nothing
The most tragic bystanders
Three innocent beautiful souls
Who never asked for this
Think about that, all you selfish despicable rapists. Babies deserve to come in to a world of truth and love .....
Mar 2014 · 972
Flattened or cursed
Once a field of lush green
laid out under sun and sky
roving in waves that carried
herbal joy whispering sigh
Now in this vortex of
cloud and dust
rusty blades lie
flat and crushed
The storm can't pass
anchored by unseen chains
choking to be revived
by the drowning rain
Feb 2014 · 1.2k
too good to be true
oh
most blessed silence
a gift of your departure

of course
it had to end


the mirror pool
now shattered
with the ripples of
your cacophonic dive

treasured respite
slips away

the horizon again
stained
with your shadow
ego controls you and suffocates the rest
Feb 2014 · 317
Phoenix pending
What kind of creature

can

     rise

from these ashes?
Feb 2014 · 667
Face Value
My capacity to see reality has been disabled
and the exhaustion has set in
from the constant
reinterpretation
cognitive modification
active ignoring
emotional avoidance
catastrophizing
villifying
reading
writing
blinking
bar­king

Someone please reveal the map to find
truth
Feb 2014 · 781
ribald
a haiku*


veiled covert *****
hiding behind the dashes
cower in your shame
I feel you lurking in the shadows
of my
     mind
and
     heart
and
     soul
A benign
reminder
sends me into orbit
out of space and time...

coppertone coated in salty perspiration...

a soundbite about weather on the other side of the country...

the crunch of pad thai.........

And there you are with
your nose pressed into the trap door
hidden deep inside me
You so generously helped yourself
to the feast
at a table you were
not invited.
You've poisoned every meal
since.
You so selfishly stole
moments
that did not belong to you.
You've tarnished time
since.
You so greedily invaded
and gorged on the
most tender part of my heart.
You've left me vacant inside
since.
Quite the legacy you left
trailing behind
your forked tongue and tail.
You seem so proud to hurt so many....unfathomable
Jan 2014 · 423
good riddance
Don't

Can't

Lame

J**oke
never a bad thing to have one fewer pollutant :-)
We aren't given a guidebook of the
    life in store for us.  
The best we can hope for
    is a life with
   maximum joy
     and
      minimum suffering.


I struggle with the thoughts....

Have you ever imagined being
     fatherless
     partnerless
     rudderless....?

Small graces that I never did.

So I only had to experience each
once.

Despair that now I am.
Jan 2014 · 389
You just never know
Don't wait for time to be kind

Don't wait for life to fall on your doorstep

You can lose in the blink of an eye

What and who is held in your heart

Don't forsake the opportunities

To let love in

Hold those dear to you

Ever closer and prepare to let go

With grace and humility
For my dad who left us today
Jan 2014 · 1.4k
Vapors
Wispy tendrils of your words
wander and wind
lisping love that
swirls
and
fades away
but not before the
mystery
of the lacey pattern
of the
smoke signals
stain and sting
my bloodshot
eyes
Dec 2013 · 841
Humor Me
You so desperately want to
tickle my
funny bone
Don't you realize
how fractured
you all left it....
And this broke-down heart
cannot pump the
healing elixer
My veins have run dry
from the
Ectomy
you performed
with the myriad of surgical assistants
you employed
So you can search for that phantom
spark
but don't be too disappointed when
you come out empty handed.
Dec 2013 · 402
"Writer's" lament
A warm feeling-
or rather a layer of ice melting off
my frozen heart-
washes over me
when I read of
your
Alone-ness

Such a deserved state
for one who took solace
from others
with
your
lies
and
double-crosses

When you pretend to be a friend
you will only have
pretend friends

Such a shame you
took
and
tore
the gift of a sacred heart
from one who embraced you

Perhaps you'd not be so alone
if only you could have made the choice
to be
true
authentic

*Pathetic
I am unable to muster any sympathy for someone who could hurt others so egregiously....perhaps I will work on this in my next life.
It definitely was not a first kiss
     innocent and pure and so
          eagerly anticipated.
It could not have been a last kiss
     tragic and cold and so
           easily forgotten.
It was a kiss of death
It was a kiss of life
It was a kiss unlike any
     living
     breathing
     pulsing
     pulling
     shocking
     teasing
     reality
It was a kiss of a dream
     with a stranger or maybe
            with a danger
Left me
     aching
     burning
     yearning
     more or less....
Dec 2013 · 591
Banished never vanished
I rescinded the invitation

You can stop your invasion

Careless
Cruel
Calculating

Perhaps even dumb like you said

Inhuman  you are

You are not welcome here
She does not deserve the privilege of my prose
Dec 2013 · 467
putridity
the filth of

your presence

their existence

in a world of

ego absorbed

arrogance

sickens

me
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