Condolences
or
Congratulations

Not sure which way to go

I guess both

You will never hear from me again

There's not one thing you've done

           with me
           for me
           to me

during our relationship

that you haven't done

           with, for, to
           someone else
           many others

during our relationship

I
cut
you
loose
and
feel
equally
less
buoyant
and
less
burdened
simultaneously

I stopped calling

     stopped texting

             unfriended you on Facebook (LOL-not even my account....I don't have one) today

We've been friends for more than half my life

     more than friends from time to time (FWB....BFF....NSA.....OMFG!)

            and now it's like neither of us exists

Because you had to lie

     you had to hold out....lead me on

          to cover your *** for doing something I repeatedly told you to do (***!!??)

So painfully slowly I'm erasing you

      deleting you

           turning my mind off  you (IMY  :-(  XO)

*TTFN

Will you pretend to forgot
     all that can't be forgotten?
Could you look away
     from the past that left you so broken?
Might you clean the slate
      erasing the sins that shattered?
Should you wave your hands
     to clear the dust from the air?
Can you ever allow yourself
     to breathe again?

She was the moon
     that pulled his tides
He worshipped her ghostly glow
     each time the dark settled in
She was the sun
     that lit his path
And drew him
     the proverbial moth to flame

She was sustenance
     air
     water
     fire
     earth

He chose a new satellite
Changed his orbit
Left her on the dark side
Casting no more shadow.

As we travel
     through the hills and valleys
          the calms and the storms
The words
     strewn and carefully placed
Lead each of us to experience

His joy
Her heartaches
His regret
Her boasting

There is one here who wails
Suggesting she suffers from slings and arrows
When
     in fact
Her wounds are self inflicted
She begs mercy
But deserves only disdain
She is a maurauder
     the quintessential wolf in sheepskin
Her only comfort comes from
     licking
     and
     *******
     the
     bones
Of the few and fair she pledged protection
     lying a tangled mass
     a macabre resemblance of
     pick up sticks
     in her corrupt cage of  corpses

sometimes
it feels as though
I've died
a thousand times
this minute
this day
this year
this life
always to
reawaken
missing
one more piece of
my heart
my mind
my soul
wondering if
there will come
a time
of
sweet
nothingness

My hand to hold
My heart to keep
My thigh to caress
My gaze to capture
My fingertips to ****
My ****** to coax
My fire to burn

You told me once
          of the distinctive jingle
          that announced my station
when I could steal away
for a few moments
     to speak
     to see
     to connect
Over that long distant airwave
You told me I was one
          of two
          the other your son
who you wanted to know
was on the other end
so you could be certain
to take the call
I wonder
     have I now been
          dismissed
          replaced
          discharged
­          reassigned
     to a lesser status
Or would you still get a tingle
if you heard my jingle?

Beware the rosy cheeked colleague
passing you in the hall
asking you how you are.
Beware the helpful friend
willing to lend a hand
at a moment's notice.
Beware the grocery clerk
smiling while she inspects your list
sending you off to have a nice day.
Beware
Beware
Beware
All snipers everywhere
False smiles are the turrets they hide behind
Praise offered in an attempt to make you feel safe
Only so they can make their mark
Hit thier target
Finish the job
Bullseye

Is it a mystical force

Within me

That shuts the streetlight down

As I pass beneath?

That quiets the crickets

As I stride by

At this ridiculous time of day?

Such silly girlhood notions

To imagine I posses that kind of power

And I thought those childhood fantasies

Were evacuated

Must be hiding away from the darkness

Behind my spleen

Undectable to me.

it was an innocent question
     but loaded nonetheless
if he would have known
     who he was asking
we looked the average couple
     in that dive bar holding hands
capturing the other's glance
     with a secret smile
"Is this your girlfriend?"
     your friend or acquaintance inquired
I froze
     my breath stuck for a moment
you paused then I watched the corners of that masterful mouth
     turn up and bloom into a satisfied smirk
I said nothing but looked in your soulful eyes
     you said "yes"
I froze
     my breath stuck for another moment
you glanced at me
     quizzically
we both exhaled
     "it's complicated"
but I knew you were right
     I was

At 2:20 a.m.
Sometimes it's hard to see
Both sides of the story
Thick with irony

My bright blonde boy is
   scared of that
   one low roll of rumble
Thunder reminds me
   of his vulnerability
The pitter patter
   of the rain
   keeps time
As I trudge up and down the stairs
   to tuck
   and reassure
He won't need me forever

At 4:22 a.m.
The creaks and groans
Of an aging home
Amplify
My lucid dreams
Danger all around me
In my subconscious scape

On the edge of
   half-awake
   dark shadows
   rouse me
Too alert now
   wandering from room to room
   checking the locks
My fortress is secure

The pitter patter
   of the rain
   a sweet refrain

I am in a pink
     sheath
All straps and
     flesh
So wanting to wrap my legs
     around you
Wishing you were
     here
     to put me to bed
Knowing I will miss it
     for the rest of my
Life

No bells rang out
On that fine day
Each moment
Imprinted
In my mind
     Spilled red wine
     Sunshine chasing the clouds away
     Acres of shoulder high corn
     Spreading green
     As far as the eye could see
Now these memories
Tarnished
     with
Time
Boxed up
Locked up
So obviously
     obliviously
meaningless
meaning
Missing still
Silver band's embrace
Shiny shadow on that
     second finger
     left hand
Missing still
No bells ring out
On this fine day

.......




exactly

Ani
Bob
Cat
Dido
E...enough said
Florence
Grace
Hank
Ice T
Janis
Kimbra
Lyle
Melissa
Neko
Olivia
Poe
Queen (this one is tricky)
Robyn
Stevie
Tori
U2
Vic
Waits
XTC
Yo La Tengo
Zak

Many thanks

The things I know of you
     Deceit
     Disregard
     Disrespect
Your made up world
presented in a
pretty little package
pretended
     Charm
     Creativity
     Colors
Flamboyant like a male peacock
And now your soulful eyes
claiming to be
real and true
look into mine
no longer blind
     Soulless
     Stinging
     Singed
from the fumes
of your arson
As I stand in the ashes
accused  
although
all I did was
toss a dying ember
onto the ruins left behind
after all your fires

home

     heart

          hearth

               head

Surely there must be a way
To shake away the urgent
Emptiness
The missing being missed
Truly there must be a tool
To clear the thoughts
Hung like cobwebs in the
Rafters of my mind

A cough in the reeds
Reminds me that I am
Ever and never
Alone
Although
Alone
Is what I
Am
When I cannot
See my adversaries
and
When I cannot
Touch my lover
or
Breathe
my love

Yet again my radar malfunctioned.
Let me down.
Disappointed and reminded
That
Love
Of all things
Is apparently disposable
Like everything else
In this
World of waste

He blew in on what appeared to be a gentle breeze. Little did either detect the tsunami that was to follow. He brought Oz trailing behind him. Everything turned technicolor when he tipped his hat. Each blink revealed that twinkle in his eye and the flash when he grinned was contagious.
In Oz the sun is warmer, the rain gentler, the sleep sounder. In Oz the words that come easily unfold without effort but everything can be said with only a look and a sigh or even a touch.
He isn't aware of his departure,  disappearing as fluidly as he first appeared with the technicolor cape billowing and folding in on itself. Like he has jumped into a black hole ....or....he finally found the magic to make that carpet  fly like we always joked about........only he's just returned to the emerald city (not really (-; ) Bright  lights beam in that emerald city while I remain in the black and white version of Oz

Tangled in the twine

      of the title wife.

Not knowing

     what to be

Always for show

     but not for real

A useful item

     when used
     with
     proper intent
     and purpose.

A tie that binds.

     Bound.

The ropeburns shine

     Ablaze on my heart and mind

My love
a quiver
of broken arrows
each head
destined
to miss
its mark

The lapping of the water
as the waves  lick the lake shore
leaves me feeling lonely
wondering where my rudder is
to steer me through
the murky waters ahead
Lost within the moon glow
under a sapphire sky
I shudder and shake
withholding the tears I cannot cry

A nasty round of Keep-away
     has begun this day
So tired in this game of Life
     with edges sharper than a knife

               I've been through the ringer
                      hit with a stinger
               A runner in a race
                     though I was never informed of the chase.

Obstacle course
Dodge ball
Blind man's bluff
Hide-n-seek
Pin-the-tail on the Donkey (that would be me....tee hee)
Poker
Sorry

Now it appears
     my injured heart is to be stabbed with spears
As you land that plane
     In my domain

               No more crashes of hot-wheel cars
                    we stay away as we gaze at the same stars
               On this trapeze I've lost my net
                    leaving me with much to fret

Wanting to be *******

With winding ropes

Woven on your loom

See the mangle
As you dangle
In the tangle

The web of lies
Just multiplies
The wails and cries

Jaws sink deep
The blows cheap
Preventing sleep

Tend the fire
Of all desire
While I tire

Roll the dice
See the slice
My heart of ice

He speaks with words
that exude
some sort of
false
exhaltation
Pretend adoration
for
all the years of
us.
No longer
can I trust
as I feel blindly
in the
emotional dark
I find myself
dwelling in.