sometimes I miss you to the point that I feel you pulsing in my bones vibrating in that rhythm the tempo
yours and yours alone

Gotta feel those feels
     hitting hard today
                    and
                     yesterday

         You are here
         You are not here

I try to stay here
           when I feel like I don’t
                        exist

Perennial safety net
the roots grow shallow
for you

I am pierced in place

     Salvation for one
     Release the next
     Indulgence follows
Lust fire lies falling lashes
     Forever entangled
                  and
                    estranged.

The crack in the surface of it….
     a circular pattern
     suggesting the continuity of
     encounters with pain

As I consider the years
     the fears
     the layers of time
     holding me close

I feel the deep
     connection to it
                         to you
                         to it
                         to me
holding on to the idea
                         the fantasy
                         the figment

I choose to walk away
     from you
Big trouble
     and allow my heart to settle
          into the
          absence of you.

I feel the weight

     of you

your pores singe my skin

but

     only in memory

now

Pushed up against the wall

     and

begging for more

(I had Blue Note coffee this morning-for the first time in a VERY long time- hint of cinnamon….)

Carpet of copper needles showing the path to paradise

I did it for me

But I was thinking of you

Hey Stranger (Mr.Wiz)
Congratulations!
I truly am happy that you are so happy
I just miss the **** out of you sometimes
If you ever go poly
or single……
sure hope you find me
(again)

I was ready to have kids

I was not ready to have adults

I have no claim on your time

I have no claim on your memory

I have no claim on your heart

How is that freedom?

You chose the bottle over me for 27 years

You won’t get that chance again

He makes my body want
…….

to break

I did it in the kitchen

but not done yet

another set next weekend

to the home soundtrack

Wilco

Why
am
   I
Waiting
for
     someone
to
  Worship

me
?

You and I

will never be together

and

yet

I am tethered to you

this is what it looks like



barren

blank

in absentia

She looks just like your type

The kind you leave eventually

     because she’s not me

I will see    you     again

.

You’ll do it to me every time …. … .



the pinch and burn

I

can’t

not

I had the strangest thought
as I pulled up to the stop sign

You lifted your finger as if to wave
when I signaled you to proceed from the
four way stop

and I thought
“What if that was a potential ….”
the possibilities endless
and the moment lost

so sad that I can’t share this joy with you

telling that you’re not here

I want to feel the *****-le
                                         of
                                    your
                     ­           Skin as
                          your body
                  a puzzle piece
             snaps into my Z -
         curve thighs juxtaposed
     mine back to yours front joined
melted melded mended most effortlessly