I left my phone in the cabin
went out with nothing.
I took the road never traveled
it was quite something.
I got a favorite tree that leans into the road
and as I caressed its branch wet after a storm
it sprinkled down onto the moss bed made down below.
I couldn’t help but to tread on.
It was soft under my shoes and I sunk in it like quicksand
I wanted to listen to blues and let the moment breathe deeply
what a calamity it was that I had to say goodbye to my favorite tree.
And what a shame I didn’t get to lie down to sleep on the moss.
Someday I’ll do that though.

I dress to **** and I **** for fun.
I got all the bags and for money they run.
I’m into winning haters over, it’s my hobby.
And if you don’t pay tribute, this ain’t over, catch a body.
You’re over and I’m only getting started.
No lover but my boo got all my pics hearted.
Plain Jane and I’m rocking that Versace shirt.
No name and I’m high-fiving celebs, hold the girl.

**** me or *******.
I don’t buy your bull but buy expensive ****.
Wack but you’re still hot, can’t deny it.
So make your mind up or stop hindering me.

I dress for revenge and I avenge everything.
I’m winning every game and make sure you’re spectating.
I can rock vampire fangs, I could be your villain arc.
I got Kylie challenge lips, I can kiss yours in the dark.
But you’re playing! and you ain’t even winning.
Think you’re flexing? nah honey, you’re spreading the red carpet for me.
Know your worth! next to me you ain’t a penny.
Think I care? You in the top million things that affects me.

**** me or *******.
I don’t buy your bull but buy expensive ****.
Pretty but ******, it ain’t working for me.
Real ****, I did like you, now I rub that **** in.

Grab something quick, cause you falling off.
Joke, you’ve been lying face down at the bedrock.
Could’ve been my bed but you ain’t made it.
Could’ve said I ain’t it, but you didn’t say ****.
Could’ve won ya over but I’m kinda glad I didn’t.
You stay playing games, but I got better achievements.
I’d compete, but I need at least some competition.
You’re worthy, but only of cleaning up my *******.
I’m an effin’ G, go build me an effigy.
Why you so effin’ jelly, on top of that buttery.
I saw you the other day and I was like eww.
Whatever I smoked to be attracted to you.
Kinda glad now I ain’t leaned to kiss you up there.
Bonafide ******* and certified **** muncher.
I’m what you wish you were, I’m grateful I ain’t you.
Now watch me be a faker, cause you didn’t want me true.
You want my spot, then go clean my ***.
I eat a lot, I’m eating this **** up.
You want my spot, loser I dare you not.
You ain’t spitting facts, just go get a mop.

So *******, I guess.

Won’t namedrop but I knew someone, if you know you know.
No teardrops but I thought that I found a matching soul.
Foolish of me, ******* love me when I’m in my prime.
Gonna keep them nameless, you ain’t worth of my time.
I’m speaking hella sharp, but I’ve been cutting ******* off.
I’ve been hanging with the stars, looking down at them from above.
You’re either with me or against me, either **** me or respect me, won’t exploit me for your own gain, won’t deliver any more pain.
That’s what I’m saying.
There’s more fakes out there than you know.
Not namedropping any though.

I only keep up with my x’s to see the progress I’ve made.
Wish I’d thought of all the x’s on the list of things I hate.
I was desperate and had nothing, you were greedy and forced-laughing.
One thing I could never respect is stirring thoughts inside my head.
And I get I’m not your type and I get your friends are cooler.
Understand I’m not a nine, don’t rain money at the jeweler.
Don’t follow your buddies’ insta, you ain’t even on my finsta.
Finna unfollow you instantly, you don’t double tap my pics now.
And don’t call if you gon’ cancel, amped me up and why was that?
Then you asking me for Franklins like I owe you anything.
I’ve seen hints and indications, that you weren’t genuine.
I just wish I trusted my gut when you dropped out on me and ghosted.
Right before my prom, should’ve spoke over that graveyard silence.
What the **** was wrong with me to let that go like nothing happened?
Oh, I know.
I had nobody else.
Least I’m not hypocritical, I offed whoever bugged me on.
Killed them with a swoop of success, brought the scissors out, cutoff.
Wonder why I’m so proud now and the answer’s clear as day.
You would too if you evolved from prey to bird of prey.
If you gon talk about me, know I didn’t have to be your frenemy.
Actually scratch that, the act is off, I’ll proudly be your enemy.
You just wanted the gleam and the glory that I had to give.
Just so you know I almost called off a whole affair for it.
See, I’m not a faker, least I admit I wanted you like that.
Many years now, I still hope somebody does you just like that.
I still don’t wish you dead, your downfall’s not what’s in my mind.
I learn from self-inflicted wounds and don’t make that mistake twice.
Won’t namedrop, it applies to more than one.
No-named hoes, I feel my worthiness now.
I lost my Madison card now, pay deserved hostility back, dropped the invisibility act, I did all you said I couldn’t.
Rubbed it in your face like snow, envy’s stinging ***? You blew it.
I could have a boyfriend but I’m good and I will find tranquility in reproving.
Reflecting about them got me irresolute and so I’m calling your BS for improving.

******* want what you have, so I make what I have known.
******* take what you offer, in exchange they give you none.
Real ****, I turn the valve off, whatever we had is gone.
You ain’t getting any of me, not even the low and worst.
Won’t namedrop, but it’s all I’ve ever truly known.
Would namedrop, but that’s against my point.
Won’t call out, can’t win once the die are thrown.
We fell out out of place, cause you pushy like dominoes.
True story, ******* only loved me when I brought them pride by association.
Long story short, only acknowledged me upon receiving shared congratulations.
So I turned my back and ******* scattered disinterested in all directions.
I’d rather look for true bonds than relish false and forced appreciation.
And I ain’t feel the need to hear them say it for finalization.
If I said I hate you for that **** that’d be an exaggeration.
Grudge’s an understatement, I could argue but want no continuation.
One day you’ll perch in the shadow I cast and have your realization.
I heard unforgiveness is unhealthy, but since I found respect for me, I’ve been feeling myself.
You’ve got every right to hate me, sure as **** you won’t exploit me, you’d be playing yourself.
It’s these no-names that reinforced my insecure soul.
You gotta lose something to be grateful for your all.
You gotta have nothing to fearlessly give your all.
And as cliché as it is, every heartbreak makes you flyer.
Every stabbing gives you scars and the scars they give you power.
I take pride in my journey to a menace from a coward.
What I lost was never mine and what is truly mine will find me.
I could wait my whole life for it, nobody’s ***** just to feel happy.

I started dreaming about him and then I stopped.
You’re only in love forever until you’re not.
He was my all but now I don’t even feel possessionless having parted ways.
Cause love is love until it’s not.

I fell in love with him and then I fell out.
He was my second half until we fell apart.
I ran into his arms like a coffee shop and it tasted real good.
It’s just that I had my share of you.

I’m nobody’s until I’m someone’s
and I’m taken until I’m free.
I swear I could’ve been forever with him,
but I guess finite are all things that are free.
Now I’ve no interest in finding the reason
cause love is a myth until it isn’t.

I want someone who loves Laurel Canyon like Tori does,
knows who Joni Mitchell is,
and goes for hikes in the summer up Mount Hollywood Drive, little thought of the heat.
Brings me coffee to the nightstand, never goes to the nightclub,
watches sunsets from the pier’s end and adores bleeding hearts.
Like this Max I’ve crushed on for some time, but he’s over the mountains.
I don’t let that get over my head, he’s really cute when he stutters
and the **** he posts gives me butterflies.
But I’m hung up on Juan, I think he’s the one, but he doesn’t yet know about my poems.
Bry David wanted money, Ian wanted something I couldn’t provide.
Something about these guys made me numb to the oceanic continent divide.
Nothing I can specify made me dumb for somebody fraudulently divine.
Patrick is so ******* cute that every time I see him I risk falling in love,
but he’s like a bath in winter.
There was Dan, but I lost interest and there’s someone else.
He’s kinda cute too, but I’m good smelling flowers at Point Dume, reply asap when he texts me.

I’m out the tunnel now,
I want the opposite of what I wanted.
Think I’ll dye my hair brown
just to differ even more from old me.
Smelling bleeding hearts
and it’s very ironic that I’m better off
without him than with him
no one specific.
It’s just if you don’t play with fire you can’t burn yourself.
And I want a boyfriend but I like sleeping alone in my bed.

Only light the room up when you come in.
Spit whatever nonsense you want, say it American.
I’ve no type I think.
Long as he lights the room up, like a firework star.
My first fourth of July was in Los Angeles.
But I’ve only danced with devils wearing halos on their heads.
I need him to light that **** up, sparks ablaze.
I like being lonely and bleeding hearts, but I want to take
someone to Griffith Park at dusk
rate my love song ten stars
**** me ******* off the drive
listen to me rant about my life
buy me coca cola in the night
take a trip down memory lane to 2019 cause I
miss who I was but I love me now
I was so much better, too young to need love.
Not a wasteland replanted yet, but something lush, not too avid, cause that I never was.
Wish you had the pleasure of meeting me then.
Wish I could meet you now, but I don’t know.
I’m still not paranoid.

I wouldn’t call myself beautiful at night, moonshot.
I learned to keep my head up, but it’s still a long shot.
What I portrayed was only a version,
a diversion from what lay behind the veil.
It rained stars,
around my head.
Now I love me,
big thanks.

I thought the man I had eyes for couldn’t love me back cause I wasn’t beautiful.
But I changed my hair.
My glasses too.
Lost forty pounds.
Grew confidence too.
But I didn’t return to his doorstep to beg for acceptance again.
I know one thing.
I deserve better.
Than someone like him.
For what it’s worth, ******* for the heartbreak but thank you for making me
beautiful.

The sweet are the danger, you can’t always see the spikes on roses blooming.
But what you can do is choose happy over doubtful, it’s a gift to know how to.
Being trapped in a body you hate, it’s a misery that only you have the power to eliminate.
It’s a weird thing for me to say, but I only learned to love me having hated me.

Now I call myself worthy at day, sunshine.
I manage to absorb the bright, starlight.
Next step is finding someone capable of holding me together.
And making me believe I’m beautiful when I’m all kinds of ****** up.
Not just on my best days.

Now they know.
Puff into smoke.
Footprints gone.
Lost in the snow.
I was blowing dandelions in a careless state of mind.
I should’ve been more careful.
There’s no future for me now.
Icy cold gazing and butterfly attacks.
Impossible layouts and ravaging traps.
I admit the fault is mine, I’ll be more careful next time,
but next time you won’t see me fall.

I did the unimaginable and don’t feel sorry.
Plus I’d do it all again if I could, I love it.
Subzero, my heart measures subzero.
I gotta disappear, now I’m the antihero.
There’s nothing for me here, my chances equal zero.
My image’s shattered like an icy pond, here goes the thaw.
I’ll need somewhere to go, this rocky terrain’s cold and raw like steel.
Pull a Houdini, pull a rabbit out a hat, disappear cause I don’t give a ****.
Pull on a hood, eerie is what the air feels like, no matter what to blow their minds.
Now I’m naked in the snow, it’s subzero.
Gotta go, my heart’s frozen in fear.
And I’m freezing cause my veil is off.
I’ll vanish tracelessly like Bella Goth.

I’ve been blowing dandelions with my armor off.
In a garland of wildflowers cut loose with my sword.
I tried to catch a butterfly as it sat down on my lap.
It was a monster in disguise.
Blowing kisses to fire.
Got a sword through my back.
Running ruse over liars.
Those who swore had my back.
I’ve been slashing demons and making sure they lay abated.
But my current version is a monster only y’all created.
Icicles growing inside my chest.
Puncturing my heart and the gist is I made it that way.
I made it that way, yes.
I could’ve stayed but I had to make it that way.
I had to run away.
I’ve been opening doors not meant to be touched.
Been extracting good things through the eye of the needle.
I could’ve put on a scene, but into smoke I just puffed.
I got caught red-hearted, but red ain’t the shade of evil.
It’s love.
It’s all I’ve wanted, but be careful what you ask for.
I’m gone.
They followed footprints, but they faded in the snow.
I’ve been blowing dandelions in a careless state of mind.
I should’ve done it elsewhere.
But do I regret it?
I do not.

I’m fine being the bad guy long as he knows I’m his baby.
Burned to the ground but so what?
I got him, I got him.
I’m fine getting called slurs as long as he knows that I love him.
I don’t talk to anyone but him, and?
Only him, only him.
I don’t give a **** if my hair’s all messed up or my anxiety’s kicking in,
cause I got him, I got him.
I seriously don’t give a **** what they whisper when I’m absent,
cause I got him, I got him, and he knows that I love him.

Run away together.
After the pale sunlight.
Been blowing dandelions.
Their seeds all caught on fire.
I gave love a try when I shouldn’t have, I blew my cover.
Now that I’ve disappeared I love somebody else and love it.
And I don’t care what they think, what I did too soon.
What you give away for free is what follows you.