up and down
loving you
to hating you
in a matter of seconds
im the car crash
after a joyride
i wish people
would stop staring

i wanted you i wanted you i wanted you

you wouldn't have been able
to handle me anyway
i can hardly handle me
anyway.

ill drink some cough syrup
go **** someone that doesn't give a ****
take some adderall to get through work tomorrow

i don't want to be like this anymore

another crush
on another stupid boy
that i've hardly ever spoken to.

from how things have gone before,
i'll probably never pursue it.
but, oh goodness,
he's rad
and way too good for me.

I'm not forcing my lifestyle on you,
but what you're eating had emotions.
I'm not forcing my lifestyle on you,
but it's really not necessary for you to eat that at all.
I'm not forcing my lifestyle on you,
but, in order for you to eat that, we're killing the planet.
I'm not forcing my lifestyle on you,
but "free range" doesn't mean anything
and "grass fed" just means they had a bit of ground in their cages.
I'm not forcing my lifestyle on you,
but cows have best friends,
mother pigs "sing" to their babies,
and turkeys can play video games.
I'm not forcing my lifestyle on you,
it's just that it's super hypocritical to say you believe in animal rights
and are against animal cruelty
when there's a hamburger on your plate.

I'm not forcing my lifestyle on you,
you're ignoring me anyway.

Don't talk about it.
But talktalktalktalk.
Talk to the coworker you hate,
and the cute one,
and the one that is always worried about you.
Don't let anyone know that you let your heart get ripped out
again.
Make awful small talk
because you're stronger than this.

Don't tear up
when people ask what happened.
Say "I got dumped"
with a sarcastic smile.
Don't allow yourself to feel crushed
all over again
when they look at you with pity.

Don't let anyone know
what a shock it was.
Don't tell anyone
that you wrote ***** love poems
you can never show anyone
about him the night before.

When people ask if you still love him,
don't grace it with an answer.
Don't stammer out,
"I could have."
It won't hurt any less.
Don't talk about that time
you almost told him you loved him
at two in the morning on a school night
as he traced your bare rib cage
and you ignored your phone.

Don't think about how
he did this so he "wouldn't hurt you,"
because he did
and bad.

Talk about his Oedipus complex
and how he wouldn't *******,
how you thought he was different
and you meshed so well together.

You're a whole person
and don't have another half.
(Or at least keep telling yourself that.)

Don't waste ink and computer space
writing about him again.

Full of heartbreakers
and nose pickers,
"You forgot to collect the homework"
and "let's skip and smoke in the bathroom."
This whole place smells like BO.
I spoke to you once in history,
no I won't sign your yearbook.

We do accommodate our vegetarian students!
Have a bowl of crunchy water
and pray the lunch lady doesn't slip in a scoop of turkey.

Learn these formulas,
though you'll never use them.
You're ******* useless if you can't do everything in gym.

Don't show your shoulders,
don't be a ****.
Didn't you listen in health class?
Condoms never work.

School makes you panic?
Go anyway,
cry in the bathroom if you have to.
Go anyway,
or we'll make you.

You tasted like sin-
cold, bitter alcohol
you bought with your fake ID
and stale cigarettes
you stole from your roommates.

We talked about God
and the Bible,
with your hands in
my unholy places.

In church,
they warn me about sin.
Ugly, vicious sin,
that'll tangle me up
and drag me straight to hell.

They don't warn me about sin
with thick, curly hair,
warm, soft skin,
and sleepy eyes
that look at me
like they've seen my soul.

I know, from where you’re at in this,
things seem bright.
He’s treating you well,
expressing that he ****** up;
it for sure won’t happen again.

He’s texting you “goodnight beautiful”
every night before he goes to bed.
He’s telling his friends that you’re his girl,
you’re spending time with his siblings.
He’s buying you things,
he’s spending time with you.

I know,
I’ve been there.

I plead that you realize that it won’t always be like this.

Soon he’ll start blowing you off,
no call,
no answer.
If he hasn't already, he’ll start lying about where he is,
who he’s with,
who the girl he was talking to was.
You might found out.

But don’t confront him about it, oh no.
It’ll be all your fault.
You’re crazy.
You drove him to it.
It never happened, why are you demonizing him?
Or he’ll cry and say that he ***** everything up
and you can’t leave him, too.

I know that things seem good now.
I’ve been there.
If you got out now,
you’d really be dodging a bullet.
Don’t be like me.
Please recognise you deserve better than him,
that he doesn’t deserve you in the slightest.
He cheated on you once,
you know he’ll do it again.

You won’t ever listen to me, though.
I didn’t listen when I was warned.
I’m just a crazy ex, you know?
Just like he’ll tell you all of them are.
Every
single
girl
he’s ever been with.