All of the men in her life
have ripped her to pieces
and taken her innocence away
smashing it into shreds in front of her.
These things will never mean anything
to her anymore,
because now she has a king
that has given her a kingdom
and that is all that matters.

Slowly

i lost him entirely.

its gone.

maybe forever.

maybe just for now.

but slowly
  slowly

he's out of my life.

I’ve been caught in a
Storming blaze of love lost emotions.
They consume me from head to toe,
Sending my body in a shivering heat.
Hollow screams echo from this
Everlasting hell.
Find me here
in agonizing beauty.
Find me here
Hating myself and loving you more
Find me here looking for you.
“looking for who?”
Myself?
Find me here begging for change
And never seeing any.
Find me burning.
I created this.
I did this.
Find me here humming hush song,
To end this deafening silence of our love.
Find me here
Bleeding love for everybody else
Except myself.
Embrace.
Love.
Break.
Repeat.

Slowly.
  Slowly.

Painfully and pitifully lost him.
The one my heart desires.
Slowly he lost affections for me
That I had never lost for him.
Slowly he stopped caring
And set me down gently as he went to go
Live a life I should’ve never been apart of.
Slowly my name turned to bitter taste in his mouth
Instead of the sweet aroma that he knew before.
Slowly intimacy became distance.
Slowly he began to no longer crave me,
But instead run.

Slowly.

     Slowly.

I want to sit underneath waterfalls of love and grace
and lay in fields of peace and power
that all points to you.

I want to run into the hidden places of your heart
and know you better.

I want to look past your eyes and see your light
that shines in the darkest of me.

yeah, kinda.

She sat in the dew soaked grass
Running her fingers through pebbles and leaves
Droplets of water weighing down on her cheeks
As she sits and listens
The grasshoppers sing and the breeze whispers a song to her
That only she can understand.

Cold hands from her broken skin,
Warm eyes from her broken heart.
She ignites at the touch in yellows and reds
And rules the world in greens and blues.

She can barley hold herself together
But when she falls apart
It’s a cacophony of colors and emotions
That make her mess beautiful.

Don’t forget that sometimes the prettiest flowers
Bear the most poisonous of fruits.

where the blackberries sweeten
and the daffodils bloom,
thats where i lie down
in soft pillows of clovers and hay
and watch the clouds dance to the melodies
that only the wind and birds can create.
there i lay in silent assurance
of safety and promises

The sun inside of her
Rages like a wildfire
Burning anything that she can see,
Ruining everything she touches.
She’s a golden girl,
In a golden age.
Touching only what she chooses to touch,
Loving only what she wants to.
She’s a beauty that
Illuminates everything around her
With a sun that everybody wants,
But no one can have.
She rages like a wildfire
Spreading her beauty into every
Little corner that she can imagine.
And with every one of these corners
She conquers something.
Sometimes she doesn’t know that she does
But the hearts that she has,
They will never ever forget her.
The sun inside of her raged on
Like a wildfire that can’t be contained,
And when they try to contain it,
She over comes, and sometimes
She has to touch things to overcome.
But don’t be afraid,
She only touches the things that
She knows will be okay in the end.

You know that moment
When you feel like everything is failing
And the winds won’t stop
The rain still pours
And you just can’t hold on.

Or you feel like you’ve done nothing
And there’s nothing more to do,
So you sit there and ask yourself what’s next.

That moment was sealed shut.
Gone in the wind with a few simple words.

I love you
Deeply
Madly
Truly.

And yet you still broke my heart.

though i may wander and stray
one thousand times and then
ten thousand times more,
i hear Him calling my name in the distance,
and when i turn around,
the Fathers heart chooses me.

"Burn me beautiful,
burn me lovely,
burn me righteous,
burn me holy.
I want to be tried by fire,
only to be purified."

the windows into the soul
tell stories of what is,
what is to come,
and what will never be.

they don't say anything,
but they speak of compassion,
they scream in pain,
and hide the deadliest of sins.

behind your eyes
there’s thunderstorms
that hold brokenness and pain
but one day those thunderstorms,
they will rain
and your eyes will pour.

He lifted me up from the darkest parts
Of the deepest valleys,
In my moments of loneliness
He was my friend.
When I didn’t know who I was,
He whispered it to me in the depths of my heart,
And for that I owe him everything.
When I felt no hope,
And was left with nothing more than a wilting heart,
He held me and rocked me to sleep.

I lay next to you
Empty and hopeless
Waiting for you to reach out and hold me.
Mend my broken heart.
Make me one again.
But instead I lay in silence
As your breath fills my lungs.
Waiting for you to reach out and hold me.
I sit here in silent agony
Waiting for a rescue.
Waiting for you to reach out and hold me.
Is this all we will be?

I woke up and
my cries are met with
snow that I've been buried in,
making its way down my mouth,
and into my chest.

“ hey can I call you back,
I was eating a hoagie
And the tomato flew off
And now there’s mustard
On my pants.”

She has a wild fire that courses her blood.
She has a belly that is full of coffee and deceit.
She has a soul full of moon, stars, and joy.

In her fight against
Those nasty little demons
She stayed sturdy.
She was unbeaten,
Fragile, but still never broke.

I turned off the lights and walked away
From everything that we could’ve been
And everything we could never be.

I looked death in the eyes and
he laughed in my face,
“you’re early” he whispers.
He assumed when he sees me
that he has me captive
and is preparing to hold me forever.
This is not my end.
My end does not consist of gravestones
and mourning who I once was.
My end does not consist of tears and
noses that wont stop sniffling.
My end is much better,
for it isn’t an end at all.
My end is only the start of the beginning

My love lies like a spider twirling her web,
waiting in the middle for her prey.
One lover after another,
falling for her tricks and games,
slowly waiting for his death.

He's waiting.

And waiting.
Longing for that end
that comes at the edge of my sword.
I have never been good at finishing what I start.

Now he waits in the silence.
My silence.
the type of silence that wont bring peace,
but nerves instead.

I tried leaving a long long time ago,
to release you from having to stay with me.
I was never meant for you dear
and yet you stay.
I begged you to let go,
and yet you hold on.
Tighter and tighter the more I leave.

My love for you was hidden,
in these walls that I built,
which you finally see lying in your pools of
tears and darkness.
I didn't mean to hurt you.
I can hear you screaming my name.
It echos like cicadas in the midst of night.

Make sure you stay away from me next time, love.

Just the sound of your voice
can turn the darkest nights into the morning.
It can split the deepest of the seas
to lead me where I'm going.
It can change the world
in just one breath.
Oh, your voice,
it can throw the tallest mountain in the sea.
It can shake the earth and still create calm in me.
It can tear the veil in half when you claim it.
The rocks still cry out in the silence of you.
Oh, to love how you do.

Just the sound of voice
blesses me and calls redeemed.
It opens my eyes to the unseen,
Oh, how your voice changes me.

A man of nobility and honor
Is a man that earns
The gift of worth.

If I broke your heart,
Would you feel anything at all?

“i was trying to kiss you on your forehead.
it was meant to be sweet”

Please don’t forget
even the idea of perfection is flawed.

Just the sound of your name
makes my ears bleed,
and saying it taste like
poison on my tongue.

In the deepest moments
Of the darkest valleys
I have a warmth that
Overwhelms me from the corners of my heart
And the depths of my spirit.
It burns violently inside of my chest
Reminding me that I’m safe.

What ever smile I put on
You’ll believe it none the less.

Salt water waves crashing above my head,
screaming from the deep.
They threaten to swallow me whole,
fearlessly i walked into the white washed waters
ever so ready
to become one with the tide.

I’m not sure what it was
That made you want to leave.
But you left none the less
And my heart is shattered at the thought
That I may never have you again.

I’m not sure what I did to make you
Despise the idea of me.
But you despise me none the less
And I’m broken at the thought
That this must’ve been my fault.