Your perfection momentarily tempted me to believe in god's existence

The only place you'll find me is in my dreams.

Is where I want to be

I guess I'm trying to say good bye,
For I may never return...

The mistake I made was thinking that I have time.

I keep waiting, even when I know it's not coming.

The dust that settles in your heart, my empty home.

My sentence is still being written
In the book of life.

I am awaiting that punctuation,
That brings us together

The light breeze brushing the skin,
Eyes staring out the window at nothing,
The hum of the city that is a hum no more,
The ears escaped to seek sounds of shores,
There is no noise in the thoughts that came,
A remark on the irony of time is made,
The pictures are old, faces in them are young,
A wonder as to whom those faces now belong,
As the piano plays the eyes see a montage,
Tears find their way across a cheek,
Echoes heard from memories gone,
Wishes are made to return to the past.
Today will be a memory again,
May be full of hope, or of regret,
Arms searching to hold them,
Hands wanting to make the future,
The mind a fallen leader with wisdom.
Happiness is sought, had less often,
Some understood it was not to be found,
But accepted.

We sometimes do unforgiveable things,
Some regrettable, and the best we can do,
Is live with them.

Spending sleepless nights,
Listening to b-sides,
Thinking of you as I play that song,
Hoping you'd see with you is where I belong,
You that I never had except in my head,
Seeing me my friends say,
"He's at a party he never went to,
He never knew what her love is like,
He makes it all up in dreams,
He doesn't have to leave there",
I tell them I know what I'm doing,
That some day you will come to me.
Or some day I will get over you.
Some day, all of this will happen again,
And I will always stay by your side.

I want to tell you my secrets,
I know you will keep them with care,
Until the day you give them back.

Because you're not mine to have.

I can now accept
There are things I cannot do,
It puts into perspective what I can do,
And it guides me to my future
Where I can be happy.

Tonight I'm having fun,
And I miss you,
Like a sunflower misses the sun

Lost on a journey without a destination,
One that was a search but not an adventure,
You are gone and I know not where to be,
Here we leave our incomplete story

It is hard to describe how beautiful you look,
Harder still to capture it by my hands.
Yet, here I am closely following each line of your face,
Like taking it in for the first time,
Almost like falling for you all over again.

A part of me that would just sit around,
Knowing that you won't ever call back,
Every once in a while something would remind me of you,
And I'm thrown back in time to when I loved you,
You I don't even want any more, so I'm opening the door,
I'm moving on

I sat nervously gazing elsewhere, unsure if I deserve you

I wish it would mean something to you,
When I say you are the best thing to happen to me.

Come with me, let's take a walk down your favourite street,
We'll laugh and reminisce and get your favourite ice-cream,
You'll show me the places you plundered as a child,
Where you scraped your knees and wept a little a while,
With tales of mischief and fears and laughter and sadness,
I'll be mesmerized by your innocence and kindness,
The kindness the world and it's people tried to rob of you,
Your excitement witness of the magic of how there was nothing you couldn't do,
I swear in the moment, it will all be true!

What if I am a figment of my imagination?

A triangle is the most stable form except in relationships.

And so another night I take to bed my demons

Thank you for holding my hand, else I'd get lost.

I went a million miles, had a thousand things to do, yet nothing seemed to matter to me, without having you. I asked myself why it was so, I found I had to reason to do, no fulfillment to attain, like an existence without purpose, my reasons ending on you

Riding the crest of a wave of happiness,
I imagine it as a wave for I expect to crash,
It's not been so fun being me some times,
Surrounded by people but alone in my head,
Either soaring the skies or fighting the urge to give up,
Never sure whom to let in for they may leave some day,
Or may be I might make a mistake and drive them away,
In one of the rare moments of certainty you came in,
Certainty that I want to put my trust in you,
To hold your hand as if it we always belonged,
I've been waiting for a long, long time for us to happen,
An anchor in the chaos of my thoughts.

And then when the thought of losing you presents itself,
Despite it being nothing to worry about,
I still worry because I want you,
May be I might need you too,
Fearing falling to pieces if something were to happen to keep us apart,
I'm not sure what I'd do, would I go mad?
In silences I find myself thinking about you,
Missing you, my thoughts asking you to stay,
All these feelings they rise up to my chest,
But they never take words,
Afraid I might be asking too much,
Afraid this wave might crash.

Today the world is bearable,
Good even!
Or maybe,
Today I'm bearable,
Good to the world.

We are all the same space dust.
Millennia after we are gone,
Our light, will keep shining,
Travelling on and on, when some day,
We may be seen in another world,
As the stars we are.

I will try.
The feeling of a hot cup of coffee on a rainy day,
The warmth of the blanket on a cold night,
The want to stay in bed every morning,
The first time witnessing snow fall,
The satisfaction of having cake,
These feelings of ecstasy,
Put altogether,
That is kind of how it feels to love you.
And much more

I see you some times,
You go about your every day,
We're strangers, that's all there is,
Yet for my amusement, you could say,
I live in the illusion I understand people,
I try to read you, in your actions,
In your manners, in the way you dress,
Some where I am also being judgmental,
Which is wrong, but I won't tell you,
So with this bad habit I,
See you go about your every day,
Think of how you might be,
Who you might be,
Someone's daughter or son,
A sibling, a friend,
This whole life of yours I do not know of,
And I dream of what it might be,
You become a fantasy,
You, my stranger never really noticed me,
May be I am losing my sanity.

Many of us begin to feel lost,
There comes a moment in our lives,
When we look in the mirror and try,
Try to understand who it is that is staring back at us,
Who it is that stares back from the reflection,
Question everything about our lives,
Are we who we thought we are?
Asking, "who are we?"
The hunt starts to find our place in the world,
To find ourselves.
To each there is our own truth,
I found mine and I know you will too,
The key is to not over think things,
Because sometimes the best explanation is that which is right in front of us,
Believe, that the pieces will fall into place,
Every failure, every heartbreak, every death, all things you wanted and did not get,
They're all meaningless, and they all mean something,
For they defined you, they made you who you are today,
Life just happens, and we can all but go along,
And you my dear friend, will find what you're looking for.

Time is running out,
Soon it will come,
When I will see you,
Fall in love for the last time.

I quit smoking,
I learned to live without you.

But I still love you both.

I can't breathe,
It's crushing me,
The burden of expectations and disappointments,
I can't breathe,
There's still a long way to go till this misery ends.

Standing in the shadows,
Waiting for your chance,
Life will pass you by.

Like occasionally mine does,
As I lay waiting to wake beside you.

I want to fly away forever, but not without you.

My half of the world was in darkness when your’s was in light,
A straight mass of land separated us,
The Earth understood and bent under me to where you reside.
So many people here, only one I needed,
Only you I wanted, your memory I got,
And the knowledge of half a planet’s distance,
Because that’s how far you are.

You are growing,
But you are not a novice anymore.

I wait for the days when,
Loves songs stop being about you,
When I can again make promises of forever

Tomorrow,
Some day,
I will do everything,
I wanted to.

I want to make you feel
How I feel when I think of you,
What it takes to be in control,
And not die under the weight of the love
I carry for you,
That every cell in my being craves you more than oxygen,
That you are the earth to my moon,
The sun to my darkness,
So oblivious of your own beauty,
Blind to my suffering.

It stopped hurting when I accepted that you are gone.

I do it often, because you are worth writing about.

There are three things that matter,
You, me, and us.

What am I,
When I want to end my misery,
And myself with it?
Or is it when I don't follow through,
Lacking commitment to neither improve,
Nor stopping burdening myself?

I am not writing,
I am talking to you,
Whomever cares to hear,
Thank you.

Pieces of my self scattered across the floor,
From a fear induced by an inability to live,
Gathering all my strength to wake up another day,
Hoping a nightmare doesn't ******* away,
Anxiety is a cruel curse I am blessed with,
Forever grateful to those who pick up my pieces,
Put me back together like it was nothing,
The rabbit hole of madness chases to consume everything.

I'm taken aback sometimes,
When people express interest in my company,
Because I don't in my head

It felt so close, yet out of reach,
As if getting it would make everything better,
Sure it does in bits and pieces,
When I chose to receive the attention and care I seek from others and myself,
Yet here I am again,
Unable to accept the normalcy of life,
Everything is fine, everything is great,
Still I seek to escape from reality's grasp,
Searching for a non existent memory of myself,
Memory of who I think I should be,
That ideal version which I cannot become,
For I am incomplete,
A  bottomless hole of despair inside me that I thought I could fix,
Constantly swallowing all my joy,  
I hoped that love and companionship will hold my broken pieces so tight,
And reshape me in new light,
Failing to see this not alchemy,
It won't turn my rotting being to gold suddenly.

So hard to breathe as the tendrils of anxiety grip my lungs,
Suffocated by memories of my failures and shortcomings,
I think of being calm and reach out to God unsure if there is one,
I try and think of all that is good around me,
Trying to silence the whispers of self doubt and the shouts of despair,
Like trying to change the course of a river that is reluctant,
I reach a place inside where I may introspect,
From a child that was a clean slate and curious of the wonders of its existence,
To now someone who has lost that innocence and vision,
I come to terms with hopes and dreams of the past,
Unburden my present of the high expectations of the child,
I'll never be the the famed person who excelled at everything they did,
I'll never uncover the secrets of this universe nor achieve nirvana,
Perhaps I'll grow having lived life a decent person,
Maybe I'll even have some people care for me in my last hours,
And then as I disintigrate into nothingness my will can live on,
In the atoms and molecules that once made me,
When take shape of someone else who might accomplish all the miracles I could not,
There is peace inside me now.