the stench of cigarette, it lingers
and it suffocates me.
it heightens my senses, haunting
deliberating the nights i often weep.
and i'm scared of my hands
when they try to hold, what they hold
because they say
"fill it up'
whatever is lacking, whatever is not there
no one is excused to try
and it scares me even more
when you can never be the same person
when you can never be complete.