If only I closed my eyes and walked away
If only you didn't look at me and speak that day
Oh I wish you wouldn't have came
To deprive my eyes from sleeping
And allow the coincidence to play its game
Oh i wish at that trice I wasn't there

As if I've known you're eyes for a thousand years
As if a lifetime passed and I didn't live
Emotions that I couldn't explain blew
Only the feeling of passion knew what I felt

If only I didn't open my eyes to the world that day
If only I didn't fall asleep to the most beautiful tales
I wouldn't have woken up knowing love
I wouldn't have had tears and thoughts
If only your smile didn't hypnotize
And if only your eyes didn't keep me up all night
I  wouldn't have let my illusions dream of you
I wouldn't have wrote that poem about you

If only I closed my eyes and walked away

I listen to the sound
Of you sleeping, holding my
Breath, just to feel yours.

The ice was cracking under my feet.
The ice was crackling under my feet.
This morning it wasn’t even that cold.
The sun rose earlier
At the train station the sky
Shone velvety purple.
The brisk air reminded me
Of the siberian cold
In your eyes
While your heart is burning.

Breaking, crumbling, thundering,
Smashing
Shattering the ground
Below me.
I fall
endlessly
You listen for the sound of my body
Passionately
Embracing the pavement
In silence
I entered your world
In my sleep
In silence
I will go back
to sleep.

I don’t remember the colour of your eyes,
or the place where you last kissed me.
In fact
did you ever give me a last kiss?
cuz if you did, I lost it.
There’s too much junk in all my pockets
and I
think it should be in the pocket by my heart.

I don’t remember the shape of your smile,
or when you last held my hand.
And deep inside
my soul is searching for your handprints.
It’s messy and it’s dusty in there
and there’s no light cuz I forgot to pay my bills
and I
keep stumbling in the dark on the remains of too many souls

I don’t remember the flow of your thoughts
or the way you accentuated words.
But mostly
it’s the maze-like way you loved me
that I seem to have forgotten.
So far away in time and space it all appears tonight,
but I
am sure you loved me one late evening under the moon.

The more I try to grasp you
The more you slip away.
You switch form and shape
And state
Only to evade
The tremolous grip of my hand.

My lips sealing your lips
At last!
You undress me
And pass straight through me
To reach your inner death
to numb the pain away.

You already forgot I am there
By your side,
Naked and with my heart
Hanging out of my chest.
Deeper still, in your contemplation of death
You don't even remember what I'll never forget.

I give in to your hate
As you bite my lower lip
In despair
My soul unfolds
Only to wrap
All of you like a blanket
To keep you safe
I force your hand
And bend your will
I will not let you ****
Yourself
The knife piercing my skin
My flesh
My bones
My chest
Wide open
My heart beats
Alive in the palm of your hand
I stand on the edge of your conscience
Give me a push!