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I need a friend
with whom
I can talk about
things like
poetry
and the shudder of
the earth when we
write a line that
seems to resonate
with infinity
and with whom
I can discuss
the fear of rejection
and the sneaking suspicion
that maybe none of this
is actually very good
and I've struck
an anomaly
and I need a friend
who will bear with me
during moments of weakness
where i want to burn away all of
my words
Andrew Kerklaan Jun 2017
I can't even believe how you hate me now. I literally watched and admired you all my adolescent years with nothing but love and respect for you, and now you can't even stand the sight of me.
My crush.

I watched you grow and change, watched you be in love with other men and even waited for a time when I wouldn't be leading you away from a path by which you would be more suitably rewarded.
My love.

But despite all of this,  I still couldn't offer you enough. I "wrecked" everything.
And yet I had never tried so hard to be the best that you could have in all my life
My family.

I failed you. And now also
Myself..

I'm sorry you couldn't understand the love that I had tried so furvently to share with you. I had hoped that things could be better than this.

But alas...

Perhaps you'll hear me now as a passing traveler's blessing...

As I say for the last time: good bye my friend,
"I hope you find you're looking for out there"
I always loved you.
Andrew Kerklaan Jun 2017
The darkness gives way to butterflies and repulsion breaths life into statues of dead dogs...    
    
These horrors must be kept.    
    
Though stitched eyes would bring no release to these lost soldiers    
    
A forest far away burns down and you scream my name    
    
Crying all the while, the mother's child dies    
    
Will I ever be free?    
    
A shadow looms through the window and you reach to the outstretched hand    
    
Will you take his word over the eyes in a painted room?    
    
Faceless words mutter silently in a meaningless language    
    
These premonitions so clear...    
    
Could I simply be slipping out of view once again?    
    
Lost in a dream about a dream    
    
Eyes flutter open    
    
The beating of wings of glass winds

A knife's edge will cut through the night and leave me in silence    
    
Quiet and alone, you will die!    
    
A wealth of burden all his own to eat    
    
Darkness gives way to the dawn and the butterflies take flight though the deliverance of daylight
This poem I wrote in 2011, it's one of the very first I ever wrote. I hope you enjoy it.
Andrew Kerklaan Jun 2017
Moving with the flow of the motion I can sense the disturbance as it ripples silently across my ceiling

Jaded and effortless

It leaves my sight seeing me farther then my eyes will permit me to.

Observing me
                                            

                ­        -Omnipotently-



Keen eyed. Faceless and brazen.
               It mocks me with open contempt

Daring me to lean out and touch it
Instantly ready to be ripped away

Gratified by my indignity.

Cackling haggishly,

I sense the word ***** cross your lips momentarily before biting your tongue.

I want to wretch but worry it would only deepen your delight...

You enjoy watching me squirm don't you?

                                                   ...Father


Can you hear me now?
                        Calling out to you again...
Sometimes I don't think you can hear my voice. When I'm far away and lost I feel this the most.

...How deeply gratifying
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