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This is your last poem my love
You have taken enough of my words and I will now give them to someone else
Eternity will read of you but I no longer love you
I have let you go

So go
Chase your dreams and conquer your demons
Fill your soul with unimaginable joy
We are no longer tied together
I have cut the last string
There is nothing left of us

But if you ever get lost
And look back to the moments in which you loved me
Remember it always as time when you were so tenderly and unconditionally
*Loved
I look to the moon
He silently nods
And we both hold onto each other
Thankful there is someone else out there
Willing to bear our secrets in the dark
Because the truth hurts and the sun is too revealing for all the things we end up doing at night
I would rather spend a lifetime simply brushing shoulders with you than making love to anyone else
I would choose your whisper into my ear over the sound of a hundred angels singing "Hallelujah"
I would rather spend forever imagining the feeling of your hands than being touched by the greatest man
I would choose hearing you say, "I love you" to another woman than have a million men calling my name
If I had to
I would pick being mere acquaintances with you over being mad lovers with someone else
To be able to spend the rest of my life looking into your eyes I would give up the ability to see all of the stars and the moon and even, the ocean
I would rather take a bullet for you and die never knowing your kiss than live in a castle with an army of 100,000 men

I cannot explain to you what it is about you that has so greatly captured my heart
All I know this:

I would rather have nothing with you
Than the greatest love story with someone else
To her
They were just boys
Coming and going
Like tides taking effortlessly from the shore

But to them
She was the moon disturbing all their movements,
Controlling their feelings with her mysterious big eyes
And they were all helpless to her pull
I fell in love with Icarus
And followed him to the sun
I watched him rise from the ashes
And stayed behind to mourn the death of the soul I loved
Do you hear me-
(The faint memory of me laughing in your arms, pulled into your chest as tight as you could, holding me so tenderly)
Whenever you sit alone on your couch you used to love me on?

Do you see me-
(The way I used to look in to your eyes and you could never really believe someone loved you that much)
When your new lover is complaining about the ways you're not sensitive enough?

Do you smell me-
(The delicate perfume I sprayed in the corners of my neck that you used to bury your head in and take a deep breath)
When you and her are shopping and she grabs a candle saying, "Mmm smell this one" and the label reads vanilla?

Do you taste me-
(For the first year you wore burt's bees peppermint chapstick and I don't remember when you stopped wearing it but I put a little of it on everyday)
When you're wiping off the bright red lipstick she uses to show every one where her lips had been?

Do you feel me-
(My hand perfectly wrapped with yours and my head resting against your shoulder so peacefully)
When you're standing on the beach and the breeze touches your face and you remember the similarities between the sea and me?
Losing you taught me that life
Isn't a "one or the other" kind of thing

I gained more love and joy than I could ever have imagined when you left
My whole world shifted in your absence
To a place of peace, wonder, and joyful curiosity

But that doesn't mean that your absence isn't felt
Because even in all this beauty my heart still misses you
Even though I am doing things I never could have with you
A part of me still wishes I was waking up next to you

And it's taken me a long time but I think that this is what life looks like
Moving on isn't getting to a place of completely "being over" you
I think I'll always feel sad when I think about you
And there will always be emptiness in places you filled
But that doesn't mean that joy can't coexist with missing you

I can rest in thankfulness for all that my life is becoming
And still shed a silent tear that you no longer wish to be a part of it
I've heard a lot about heart break being at 3am, insomniac nights filled with silently sobbing into pillows and when sleep finally comes, it is only greeted with stabs of loneliness when the cold realization floods in that you are waking up alone.

But they forget to mention that it happens walking down the middle of the sidewalk at 2pm when you're supposed to meet a friend for coffee and you see a face that's a distorted version of his because your heart is so desperate for him that it starts to try to find him in strangers.

They don't tell you that it happens six months later when you're starting to feel good again and you accidentally hear that he's dating someone new and it sends you spiraling down into the crushing weight that he doesn't love you anymore and suddenly you're not eating again and the man who works at the liquor store makes a comment about your drinking habits.

No one talks about it happening when you start falling in love with someone else and you're sorting through your computer and stumble across the album of pictures of him that you haven't looked at since the breakup a year ago and you think you're strong enough to see his face and you realize how desperately you loved him but it still wasn't enough for him to stay.

People fail to say that it happens at your best moments when you are so full of life and love and joy that all that can radiate from your smile is the strength that conquered demons and you see all the beauty that is around you and you remember the person that you always wanted to share this moment with has decided he wants nothing to do with you anymore.
"Thank you."*

I whispered to the universe,
As you pulled me into your chest tighter while you were fast asleep.
It's been six years
And one light brush of your finger against mine
And I know exactly what you want
It's been six years and the way you love me is exactly the same

Only in waves of convenience
Only on your designated time

It's been six years
So the sinking feeling in my chest is my fault
Because I am not the woman you loved all that time ago
But you're still the fool who is dumb enough to keep letting me go

But this time I'm letting you go
And I hope when you watch me walk away
You will see what I went through
Every time you forced me to say goodbye to you
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